Shinah felt someone shake her shoulders. "Baby. Wake up baby, it's almost noon. Oh my, looks like I raised a little piggy instead of a princess." I hear my mother's affectionate giggle as she pulls the hair away from my face.
"Mmm, little princess piggy must rest more." I shoo her hands away. Wait! What ..Mother?! How is she still alive? Lu Rem took my parents away from me that year under suspicion of treason.
I reach out and grab my mothers hand, my eyes filled with concern and unshed tears. "Mother?"
She pats my head gently and pinches my nose. "Indeed a little pig. Hmph and what an ungrateful one! Hmph.. didn't even greet mother good morning. See if I don't give your chocolate cake to your younger brother! Come now let's get washed up for lunch." She laughs at my shocked face and picks me up into her arms.
I start hyperventilating.
What the hell, is this a dream.
Why am I a three year old child again.
Is this apart of the memory wheel punishment.
Stupid memory wheel now I have to actually relive this.. wait.
This has never happened before I normally watch from afar never reenact with the past.
Wait how do I know that didn't .. didn't I die? Where my baby why am I a baby? Why am I here. I died didn't I!! Wait what the hell!
I feel a sharp pain in my head, I grab a hand full of my hair. What. The. Hell. Happened. To. Me.
*Ping! New Data Successfully Received*
*Ping! Downloading New Data*
I look around what was that? Where did that come from? New data? Of what .. what's downloading mean? Is this apart of the memory wheel? I'm so confused... I continue asking questions in my head. And of course that stupid memory wheel didn't answer me. Whatever I can ignore you too. I flip out a finger. Wait why did I do that? Hmm I don't know what it means but it feels right!
While I was distracted my mother has already undressed me, and pulls me into the bathing pool and pours water onto me gently pulling me out of my thoughts. Woah ... "Mom.." This is so embarrassing I can wash myself! I feel flush as my mother continues to wash me down. Oh god I'm a grown woman. I don't need you to wash under my arms. I cry silently.
"Aww baby don't cry. Your brothers too young to eat cake, mommy was teasing you there will still be some cake for you after your bath okay, now stop crying let's get you dressed." My mother mistakes my embarrassment for sadness. She pulls me out the bath and bundles me into a fluffy towel and carrying me to the dressing room.
Rest In Peace
..my dignity.
I can do it myself mother. Please ..for the love of god don't hold my undergarments open like that! I know where to put my legs through!!
I try my hardest to ignore my hurt pride. I guess I'm three years old now, it's normal for a mom to do these things. My thoughts wander back to my child.. My heart starts to ache ... No... not now .. I should just accept it as is for now.
I stare at my mothers lovely face as she dresses me. She definitely has the beauty, that makes you willingly break your neck to look back at! Sadly not enough to cause a downfall of a country though.. Heh because you'd hand over your life, let alone a kingdom for just one glance at her graceful beauty. Don't believe me? Just look at my Father he's a slave to his wife. She had her light green hair braided into a pretty bun, with a crown with red jewels that match her long black laced robe with red embroidery. Reds my dads favorite color because of this.
Mother dresses me in a light green robe with gold embroidered butterflies flying up from the skirt. She wraps my waist with a gold ribbon. She brushes my emerald green hair up into two little buns at each side of my head, tied with gold ribbons and butterfly pins to match my robe.
I can see the affection in her eyes, I feel her love all around me it's ..suffocating.. is this how she always looked at me? Is this how I'd feel being a mother.. why was love always stronger from a mothers point of view. I shake off the ache in my heart. I want to feel this loved forever. I want to learn from her I want to love back just as fiercely. I reach out and wrap my arms around her neck. I breathe in her scent trying to engrave the smell and feel of her to memory. Hot tears stream down my face falling onto her neck.
"What is it baby? You don't like the dress, look Mommy made you look so pretty, don't cry baby." She pats my back comforting me.
I. cry. even. harder.
I never want to let her go, this may not be real but her affection is. I ugly cry so hard I start hiccuping.
"Shh now tell mommy what's wrong, do you not feel well? We can always go play at Auntie Fei's another day." My attention is immediately caught. Auntie is alive still! I shake my head and wipe my face.
Mother looks at me with eyes full of concern. She checks my temperature with her own forehead against mine. I smile at her. She is always so cute and dramatic when it comes to my siblings and I. My heart warms at her cute action. "I'm fine.. Mommy just tired." I reassure her, ~sigh~ why do I sound so childish.
Mother picks me up and takes me downstairs. I look at my old home feeling nostalgic. I don't know how long I'll have to stay this way but I'm going to enjoy the good memory for now. Who knows when that stupid Memory Master will torture me with something worse, as far as memories go I rather stay in this one a bit longer.