Chereads / My Final Breath / Chapter 18 - diana's nightmare (4)

Chapter 18 - diana's nightmare (4)

Bryan texted her that night, 'Alisha was different to your description.' which sent an arrow of pain into her chest. She had a good intuition, built over time, of when people would let her down. She felt like Bryan was going to break her soon, she felt it in her bones. But Bryan was a drug, she couldn't get enough of him, her heart had already fallen for him, almost as much as it had loved James.

But she stopped feeling love for James, instead she felt some disgust at his way of living. She knew that she wasn't faithful, but she had become used to his infidelity, it was the sheer amount of girls he had slept with that she found rather gross. She had a grand total of 3 people, and that number would never change.

If Bryan left her, she wouldn't sleep with someone new, she'd rather die than become so shallow. Diana felt that though she loved the boy, she couldn't hold onto him, which made her more obsessed with having him to herself. It was only her dignity that prevented her from clinging to him, though sometimes she would cuddle a bit longer, days when she wished she had someone to rely on, days she missed her old James.

She thought she could play with Alisha, the child was so robotic she had hoped that Alisha would fall for the charismatic Bryan. Perhaps she assumed it would work that way because Alisha was a lot like her after the incident, quite, cold, icey. Even then, Diana was someone who craved some romance, a lot like most people, but Alisha was built differently. She could go her entire life without needing romance and lust, thus it was Bryan who became crazy for her (in a literal sense).

Time passed, and Diana felt more sidelined by him, as if she was now the commodity. Her pride wanted her to leave him, but she put it aside, she loved someone, even if it was one-sided again, she loved Bryan. Thus, a love triangle filled with darkness was formed, but only one was truly in love. Diana couldn't break out of her hatred of Alisha, even if she was guilt-wrecked, she had a deep dislike of the fact that proof of her husband's infidelity existed. Now, she hated the girl because she was proof that her lover didn't love her, she was just another conquest.

Her hatred simply kept building, then she saw Alisha get married to her man. Her Bryan. Was she not someone who could be loved? Did the Universe hate her? Diana was trapped, trapped in her thoughts. Toxic thoughts seemed to encapsulate her, she was trying to break free but she was holding herself back. She was her own kryptonite now, she was her own poison.

"Diana, aren't you happy that Alisha is out of your hands now?" her husband asked her. She turned to see James, he looked older, tired. She touched a wrinkle near his smile, and she could still see her first love in him, perhaps the only love fate had truly taken from her.

"James, why couldn't you ever love me like I loved you?" a tear escaped her eyes, a single tear before she soaked the others with a handkerchief. "I'm so tired. Can you just give me up?" She begged him, one final time, "Can we please divorce?" and she saw a flash of irritation in his eyes. She knew his answer, she knew that she was stuck.

"Never." Just like the robot he was, stuck on autoplay, he simply always said no. Never was much more formidable, it was like a death sentence, the death sentence this marriage was to her.

"Today, the man I loved was married to the person I hate most." Diana stated, her words tumbleweeds of shock, making James choke on his drink. "You're not the only one with secrets James."

"Diana, you were sleeping with that… child?" he hissed with an air of disgust, she cringed at his words.

"Yes, Bryan is a child, but his smile is just like yours James, your beautiful smile." She kissed his cheek and left, a burning feeling was left on the place of the peck. James felt his heart beating for the first time in years, he turned to the happy couple, and saw his smile on Bryan. But everything else was different, just his smile was the same. Diana… he needed to see her.

James wanted to be with Diana, he knew he could change his ways, he knew that if he could have her forever, he would give up all his riches. He loved Diana, he always had, perhaps he had frozen his heart because he was afraid. Frightened. What if she laughed at his love? But Diana loved him, he could feel it in his bones.

Diana was gone, she was too far for him to reach, plus he knew he had to show Alisha some face, he had time. He could reach Diana in time. Once the festivities ended, he tried to find Diana, but she had gone overseas. Her location, unknown. He knew that she would return, he would just wait, wait for his love.

Diana returned, slightly sun-burnt but still the same, she had never had a proper holiday. She felt better. Richard found out thirty minutes before he had to leave a meeting, it had been a year since he had seen his beloved. He hadn't been with any other women since, he just wanted her, his Diana.

She had come back for Eliza's wedding, but she disappeared quickly after that, they were like parallel lines. So close yet so far apart.

He had an unexpected visit from Bryan that day, only one man came out of his office breathing. Diana was heartbroken to hear the news, especially because she had gotten a message that day. 'I can't wait to see you.' he had written, but now she would never meet him. That day, Alisha slept alone, instead Diana had her Bryan back with her.

She felt secure again, but a single holiday wasn't enough to satiate her hatred. She felt more possessive of Bryan now, she had lost James forever, he was gone forever. James was a whisper in the wind, but the entire world was mourning his death, not just Diana. Though he was a terrible husband, he was good at business, and good at distributing his wealth. Every man had his flaws, that was what they called his affairs, but the love he spread to fill his heart had helped many, won the hearts of those that would never know him.

He had a memorial service, that day Diana spoke the words hidden in her heart, words she had never spoken aloud.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Today we mourn a man that touched the lives of many, who may have been the richest man, but he was so much more than that. Thank you for coming today, may your love take him to heaven. I met James Richards when I was very young, I was called the Ice Queen back then too. But James would smile at me when he saw me, he would say that I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. He used to call me his flower back then, and I believed him because he was the man I loved.

Young love is truly difficult, as you grow you change, and James changed too. He was an innocent young boy, he had these naive eyes that had never seen the world, and his smile would show all his teeth. They were perfect teeth and perfect eyes, perfect hair and a perfect time. But we both had to grow, grow into adults that would be different to who we were back then. But I couldn't help but love even the adult Hames. He had cut his hair and his eyes became more steely, but his smile never changed, all his teeth… his perfect teeth,

When I had Eliza, Richard held a party like no other, every important person was there but no one drank. Instead he made them all play games like children, and I remember thinking, That's the man I married, that's the best damn dad in the world! And he truly was the best dad Eliza could have. He kissed her on her forehead before she slept every night until she was married. He used to tell me that Eliza was the best thing that had happened to us, and I agreed with him, our daughter is the most perfect existence.

Everyone knows of him as a scary man, but Eliza is perhaps more frightening to him, if she ever cried he would act as if the world had come to an end. He would wipe her tears and do anything to make her happy. It's shocking that she isn't a spoiled brat, but perhaps that came with his genes. There was too much love to give, too much love and not enough of him. To those whose life he has touched, we hope that you continue to spread his love.

James, I love you so much. I miss you, even if I was gone I missed you, I missed your smile, your eyes, your hair, I miss hearing that slight creak in your voice when you laughed. I miss hearing you ask about Eliza, I miss hearing you talk about how one day she would become the biggest name in the world, more famous than him. I miss hearing you sing after getting drunk and I miss having you present. I just miss you being alive."

Diana mourned for weeks, and she began needing heavier dosages of her pills. Perhaps her love for James had never died, but she knew that it was killing her at this moment. Was God or some form of God punishing her? The events in her life had led her to lose belief in God, but she must have offended someone for her to be given such a fate. She wanted her life back, yet all she got was more distress. Every second was filled with pain and the only drug that worked was Bryan, he brought her the calmness she needed. Yet he belonged to Alisha. Every time she looked at Alisha she saw her husband, everything but Alisha's real smile. Though there were teeth, it wasn't as big, it was much smaller. It was like Diana's smile, pain clouded by happiness, unable to shine because the second it shone there was only sadness left. She hated Alisha, maybe for taking Bryan, maybe because Alisha was like her.

"Bryan, why do you look so happy today?" Diana asked, she had aged more in three years than she had in twenty, her smooth skin had wrinkled slightly. Her white hair was thinner, her eyes were more sunken in. She looked dead inside, Bryan had completely lost interest in her. He was intrigued by the mysterious lady, now she was a broken cougar, he didn't realise that he was the cause of her demise. She still didn't cling to him, but she insisted he visit her, she didn't have many people, only Bryan and Eliza.

"I'm going to be a dad!" Bryan sighed happily, the smile on his face sent an arrow to her heart. She remembered when James smiled like that, as if his only wish were coming true. She touched her soft belly, she missed her first one. She felt like this baby would leave her alone, if it lived the baby would take more from her than ever before. Seeing his smile infuriated her even more, she hated the child of Alisha and Bryan, why should it live when her Heracles had died? Why should Alisha, another bastard, get happiness when she couldn't?

Diana didn't take her medication that night, or any of the following nights. Months passed, and Bryan had stopped visiting her, he had decided to give his marriage a real shot. After all, he was going to be a father. But fate slapped him into place. Upon hearing of the birth of the boy, the rage in Diana booted to unforeseen levels. She screamed with pain and anger and hurried to the hospital, she had a small knife in her bag, she didn't want to use it. She smelt the clean chemical smells, as her heart beat rapidly, she approached the room Alisha was in according to Eliza's social media. There, a small baby lay.

James smiled at her inside the baby, the eyes, the nose, the teeth, so small and delicate. She felt her heart ache as she touched the soft cheeks, she wanted the child. She didn't see the knife she was holding, she only felt that she needed this baby to live, she didn't realise that with every touch she was stabbing a knife into a small body. She thought he was smiling, but the baby was crying, her delusions couldn't leave her and she killed a baby.

Diana was mental, a fact that could not be argued against, she should have been sent to an institution for those like her, but a mysterious accident ended her life.

Thus ended the unfortunate tale of Diana Richards, the saddest story told, worse than that even Alisha's in some ways. Diana wasn't given another chance with her memories, she was reborn, but maybe she deserved a better life now. Her and James, perhaps they deserved more than they got. Perhaps fate was tired of punishing without reason, perhaps it was time for destiny to change. Alisha was in the grey box, and she knew that she would leave soon. She would awaken and she would have more to do than before. But at that moment all she did was cry, so much pain had filled her body. Physically, emotionally, mentally, she felt like just the snippets of Diana's life were enough to kill her.

"I love you James." Those were her last words. "I love you Diana." Those were his last words. Perhaps her stepmother deserved a second chance, perhaps it was time for Diana to be happy.