Chapter Twenty-One:
Noah:
I had her right where I wanted her.
My mate.
Mine.
I rubbed my nose gently against hers.
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
It was all I could hear in my head.
"Mine," she gasped.
Words couldn't express how badly I wanted her.
Her body was hot against me, and it didn't help.
I felt my fingers dig into her hip.
A small noise escaped her mouth.
I finally opened my eyes to see her staring back at me.
I couldn't explain it, but I had to.
This tugging sensation inside of me was to blame for what I was about to do.
I moved forward just a little to press my lips softly to hers.
She gasped when my lips touched hers.
Her skin was hot, and I wanted more than anything to connect myself permanently to her.
She didn't kiss me back right away. Her mouth was open just a little before she gently reciprocated.
I couldn't explain the noise that erupted from me.
It sounded like a cross between a moan and a growl.
She moved back quickly, and it startled me.
Did I scare her?
"Are you alright?" she asked.
Why was I so surprised by her response?
"I'm okay," I said, "Well, for the most part."
She smiled warmly at me.
"I was worried that I might have done something," she said, "That wasn't good."
She was still a lot closer than was ordinarily okay, but I didn't care.
"It was good," I stated, "That much I can promise you."
"Yeah?" she asked.
I nodded.
My eyes kept glancing back down to her lips.
I wanted more, but was it really okay to ask for it?
"Noah," she whispered.
"Shay," I said back just as quietly.
"You should try to sleep," she said.
"I know," I said, "But I want you."
I felt her shiver against me.
"We both know that I'm not here for that."
I knew that, but I still felt the way I did.
Only one question was really on my mind right now.
"Shay?"
"Hmm."
If I was human, I might have barely heard her.
"Did you sign the papers?" I asked, "For the special program?"
Her eyes met mine quickly, and she just slightly shook her head.
I was a little disappointed, actually.
"Oh," I said slowly, "Any particular reason why?"
I didn't want to sound as desperate as I felt right now.
She frowned.
"I didn't mean for it to sound like that," I mumbled.
"No, I get that," she said, "It just scared me a little."
The program scared her?
"Well, not really the idea of you and me doing naughty things," she grinned at me, her cheeks burned red.
"Then, what was it?"
"There was a section that said we had to come in whenever they called," she said, "To test your limitations."
To test our limitations?
"Wait," I said, "To see what sets us off?"
She nodded.
I guess I can see why that scared her.
"And I don't particularly like that we would have no privacy," she admitted.
"But you're fine right now?" I asked, "Even though I might change?"
Her hand came up slowly to touch my cheek and then down to the side of my neck.
I groaned.
Her touch was hot, and it only made me want her more.
How long has it been since I've felt heat like this?
Her hand came up again to run her knuckles gently across my jaw.
"I'm enjoying this time with you," she said, "Probably more than I should."
"You say that," I stated, "But I might just be enjoying myself a little more than you are."
It was true, now that I felt that familiar ache in the last place I wanted it to be.
Her face looked surprised.
Fuck, I think she feels it.
Her eyes darted down quickly.
Fuck.
"I'm sorry," I murmured.
I was surprised when she moved in to press her lips to mine again.
This was a horrible idea.
"Shay," I groaned against her open mouth.
"Noah," she said back.
Her tongue went up my lips, and I think I was about to lose my mind.
"Please," I said, feeling myself shake, "This is not a good idea."
I had to keep what little sanity I had left.
"You want me to stop?" she purred.
Fuck me.
My lips roughly connected with hers, and she let out the most delightful sound.
My mouth opened, not hesitating for a second to taste her.
No, my mind was getting fuzzy.
Her tongue made contact with mine, and I moaned into her.
Her nails gently scratched the back of my neck, and I found my lower half grinding gently against her.
She pulled back a little to stare at me, and I could see just how much of an effect I had on her.
She really is something else.
I saw her bottom lip pop out a little, and right away, I recognized the expression.
She was pouting.
I fucking loved it.
I suppressed a groan as my fingers dug deeper into her hip.
She gasped.
"Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?" she asked.
I knew what she meant.
"I'm sorry," I said.
She was quick to shake her head, "None of this is your fault."
Of course, I knew that, but she wouldn't be here if it weren't for the reaction I had to her.
How have I existed this long before her?
It felt strange to think about it.
I needed to change my position. She is too warm, and this erection wasn't making anything easier.
"I need to move," I stated.
"Oh," she said, then her expression changed, "Oh, okay."
She looked like she just realized why.
I hated every second of her detaching herself from me.
When she was far enough away, I rolled onto my back.
I groaned as I pushed myself up a little to hide the tented blanket.
She grinned wickedly at me.
"Please don't," I said.
"Am I not supposed to like that I can turn you on?" she asked.
"Was it even a secret?" I asked.
"Do you want to know a secret?" she asked.
I felt myself shiver.
I had a pretty good idea what she was about to say.
"Yes," I breathed.
"You turn me on too," she whispered.
My entire body felt her words, and the prickling sensation came back tenfold.
I took in a deep breath, "That really doesn't help."
"I know," she admitted, "But I can't help myself."
She laid on her side next to me and rested her head on her hand.
I wished that we could do more.
I wanted to do more.
"We should probably go back to the first position we were in," she stated, "To limit how much we can actually touch each other."
I didn't want to think about that, but she was right.
I nodded slowly as I sat up.
She got to her knees, and I couldn't look away from her.
Her hands came up, "No."
I couldn't help but chuckle.
"I know," I said, "I can still look, though, can't I?"
I could see the flush of her cheeks.
"I guess," she said, "But looking can still make things hard."
"You're telling me," I said playfully.
She frowned at my words.
Too soon?
"Just move forward a bit," she said, pushing me.
I scooted closer to the foot of the bed so she could find her place behind me.
I forced myself not to look at her as she moved the pillows around.
The thought of being nestled between her thighs needed to vacate my mind.
This needed to go away, and I was scared that it wouldn't.
"Okay," she said, "Lie back."
I shivered at her words.
Shay:
It took a minute to get comfortable again in my corner.
I'm calling it my corner. I didn't care.
"Okay," I said, "Lie back."
I waited for him to move back, but he didn't.
"Noah?" I asked.
He looked like he was shivering.
Shit.
I was worried that this might happen.
I really fucked up, didn't I?
My hand went to his shoulder, and then my other hand did the same with the other shoulder.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
I completely abandoned my corner to kneel behind him.
"I don't know," he admitted.
I was worried, now more than I was a few seconds ago.
"Sorry," he said, "I might need to leave for a bit."
I wasn't sure what to make of that.
"Why would you need to…" as I was asking the question, the answer came to me.
He was very obviously erect.
My hands gently rubbed his shoulders, "If that's what you think you should do."
"I don't want to leave you here," he said, "I'm not even sure if I can."
"Would Baird scold you again?" I asked.
He shook his head quickly, "No, this isn't about him."
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know if I can physically leave you here," he said, "Alone."
I suppose I understood what he meant by that, but then again, I was never sure when it came to him and Devils.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Even thinking about leaving you," he took in a large breath, "The thought alone is filling me with anxiety."
"Oh," I said.
He was worried about me.
Baird's words lingered in my mind.
'No matter how tired he is, his first instinct is to keep anyone and everything away from you.'
It was still strange to think that someone would want me this badly.
It was strange, and yet I couldn't help but reciprocate those feelings.
I wanted to be near him. I wanted to feel him.
I wanted everything I could get from him.
My brain must have gone full smut because what I just thought was not okay right now.
"Noah," I whispered.
His head went to the side, and a small groan left him.
"Would it be easier if I stayed here, like this," I said, "While you…"
"No," he said quickly, "No."
I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.
"If it will help," I said, "Is it really such a bad idea?"
"I don't know what will happen," he said, "With you being so close."
"I'm sure that we can figure something out," I stated.
Why was I pushing for this?
"What if I hurt you?" he gasped.
"You won't," I said.
Was I really sure about that?
"Shay," he said, "I think you're being far too optimistic about this."
"Maybe," I said.
I had some weird faith that he wouldn't. I wasn't sure why or how.
I moved closer to press my body against his back.
He took in an uneven breath.
"Is this…" he mumbled, "Is this something you want?"
Something I want?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Do you want to be here," he paused, "While I do that?"
Oh, he was actually considering it?
Oh shit.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't," I said into his ear.
He took in a sharp breath.
"Shay."
"Noah," I said as I touched my nose lightly to his neck.
"What about you?" he asked.
"What about me?"
He cleared his throat, "You said that you felt it too."
I absolutely did. Only my issue wasn't something that would cause a problem right now.
"I'll be okay," I said, "I'm more worried about you."
A small sound came from him.
It sounded a little like a growl.
"Noah?"
"Fuck," he hissed.
"Did the camera turn on again?" I asked.
"No," he said so quietly that I barely even heard him.
"Then what is it?" I asked.
He turned his head just a little so that he could see me with his peripheral vision.
"You say not to worry about you," he said, "But all I can think about is ripping my sweat pants off of you and…"
"Okay," I gasped, "Let's not finish that sentence."
"Has a man never told you how badly he wants to eat you out before?" he asked.
How did his voice sound so husky? It was different than usual. Deeper, sexier.
It also proceeded to make my body ache.
"No," I admitted.
"Boys," Noah chuckled, "When the time comes, you will too."
I didn't like this sexy talk.
Well, I did, but not when I couldn't do anything about it.
"Noah," I murmured, "Please."
"I wish that things were different too," he said.
Huh?
"I already hate what I am," he confessed, "Being here with you only makes me hate it even more."
"We wouldn't be together now if you weren't what you are."
"How do you know for sure?" he asked.
"I don't," I stated, "But would we feel like this if things were different?"
He was silent for a minute.
"It's hard to know for sure," he admitted, "But I still hate this."
"So do I," I stated, "But we're together now, like this."
He hung his head.
I linked my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder.
"I do wonder how you feel when I'm so close to you," I whispered, "I'm curious to know just where it touches and if the pain feels good."
His hand came up, but he froze before dropping it again.
"It does sometimes."
"What?" I asked.
"The pain," he admitted, "Sometimes it feels good."
"When does it feel good?"
"Right now," he said.
"How?"
His hand came back up to touch my hands linked around him.
"Despite the obvious," he said, "The feel of your skin does something to me."
I quivered at his words.
"It relieves the constant prickling I feel whenever you're nearby," he said, "It's like feeling warmth after being cold for so long."
It was weird hearing him say that.
"Then, when I think about feeling that warmth," he hung his head again, "I wonder what it's like to be inside of you."
My body couldn't handle this anymore.
I already wanted this boy. Talking like this felt like torture.
I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"I imagine there is a fire inside of you," he said.
I felt his words against my cheek.
Even the sound of his voice was different.
"I imagine that you are so warm," he groaned, "That when I'm deep inside, I melt into you."
Where had this boy been all my life?
I pressed my lips to his neck, and he let out a small groan.
I liked the idea of him melting into me, maybe a little too much.
"Hmm," I hummed, "Would you really melt?"
He grunted in confirmation, "Melting would be the least of my worries."
"Melting doesn't sound too bad," I murmured.
I brought my left hand up to tug lightly at his ear while I hummed against the other side of his neck.
"If I don't melt," he took in a shallow breath, "I would devour you."
I think I let out a sound, because he groaned.
I'd like very much for him to do just that.
I wish I didn't see mental images in my head of him doing the devouring.
"I'm torn," he said.
"Torn?" I asked, "Why?"
"I want to," he said, "But I also don't, because it's a little embarrassing."
"You don't want me to hear you?" I asked.
"I don't want it to just be me," he said, "But you doing it might be too much for me to handle."
"I get that," I said, "But if this doesn't go away, would you be able to sleep?"
"Probably not," he admitted, "But it feels wrong to only take care of myself."
"Believe me," I said, "It's not wrong."
It felt weird to think it, but I believed that I would feel a bit of pleasure from seeing him.
"What do you need me to do?" I asked.
"I'm not sure," he said, "Just try to not be in front of me."
"I think I can manage that."
"Maybe limit how much you touch me," he stated.
"Am I touching you too much already?"
I was pressed pretty firmly against his back.
I was on my knees with my face buried in the side of his neck, and one hand is partially around his waist while the other gently touches his ear and the other side of his neck.
"I don't know," he admitted.
"What if I moved a little?" I asked.
He turned his head slightly so that he could see what I was doing.
I sat down behind him and put my legs on either side of him.
"Shay," he mumbled.
"A little touching wouldn't be too bad?" I asked, "Right?"
I looked down at the bottom of his shirt, and I didn't hesitate to lift it and slip my hands underneath.
He gasped.
My hands gently went up his back.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
My hands went up his sides, and I could feel his muscles twitch as my hands went over his bare skin.
His skin was hot, and it felt good. I wanted to touch him more.
"Shay," his hands came up to stop mine.
I pressed my face into his back, "Is something wrong?"
"No," he said, "It's just not helping."
"Are you saying you want me to help?" I asked.
I felt him start to shake, "I would."
I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke first.
"But," he said quickly, "This isn't the right time for that."
"Do you want me to sign the papers?" I asked, "For the special program?"
"Part of me does," he admitted, "But I don't like the idea of putting you in danger for me to feel pleasure."
"Like right now?" I asked.
"No," he said, "Right now is very different."
I dug my nails gently into his sides.
He let out a whimper.
"But like this," I said, "I'm in danger, but still making you feel good."
"Shay," he whispered, "I don't think I can hold it in much longer."
"Then don't," I said softly.
"Will you…" he stopped.
"Will I," I said, "Will I what?"
He cleared his throat, "Will you keep touching me?"
"Am I allowed to?" I asked, "I thought you said I shouldn't."
His hand came up and pulled at his shirt from the back of his neck, and he pulled the shirt completely off.
This boy, I swear.
"Just make sure that you stay behind me," he said, "I don't know what I'll do if you're in front of me."
My body moved before I could even think about it.
My hands went around him and pulled him back towards me.
"Shay," he whimpered.
"You didn't say anything about this position," I stated.
It made sense to me. As long as I wasn't in front of him, this should be okay.
"Lean back all the way," I said.
I felt him shake as he leaned back against me.
He landed with his shoulders at my breasts, so when he rested his head back, it was cradled on my shoulder.
He exhaled slowly as my hands went up the length of his arms.
"Is this what you meant by touching?" I asked.
"You touching me at all," he gasped as my hands went over his chest, "Feels good."
"Just good?" I asked innocently.
He turned his head to grin at me, "You want to hear me say it?"
I nodded, "I do."
He made eye contact before he spoke again.
"It feels amazing when you touch me," he said, "I'm so fucking hard right now."
My body shook.
I can say without a doubt, I have never reacted like this to a boy telling me about his erection.
It was always, eh, but right now, I was far too interested.
I leaned forward a little to kiss the side of his face.
"Then do something about it," I stated.
He groaned, "I want to, but I don���t want you to watch."
I wasn't sure what to make of that.
"You don't want me to watch?" I asked.
He turned his head so that he was facing forward.
"No."
Was I supposed to be a little hurt by that?
"Why not?" I asked.
He turned his head just slightly.
"I didn't mean for that to bother you," he said.
"Is there a reason why?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Yes," he said, "I'd like to think it's a good one, but then again, I'm not good at this sort of thing."
"Tell me why," I said, "I'll let you know if it is or not."
He took in a large breath before he responded.
"The first time you see it," he said, "I want it to be because I'm about to bury it in you."
Despite his lack of specific words, my legs were still shaking.
"Well, that doesn't make sense," I said, "I'll have to see it before you put it anywhere near me."
"That's what you think," he chuckled, "I see it very differently in my head."
I hummed at his words.
I think he realized what he just said because he stiffened.
"What exactly are you seeing?" I asked.
"I didn't mean to say that," he said.
"I figured as much," I said back, "But I'm still curious. Let me in on your fantasy."
He let out a noise of protest, "When you say it like that, it makes me sound like a pervert."
"What if I like perverts?" I asked.
He turned his head so that he could see me.
His vision was already ten times better than the average human, so I know he could see me just fine. I wouldn't have been able to see him if our spots were reversed.
"It feels like a scene from a movie," he said, "You know the one, where the guy walks into his room, and a girl is on his bed wearing something sexy."
I nodded, "What about it?"
"I imagine me walking in here after a long night at work," he said, "And the second I walk in, I'm wide awake. In more ways than one."
His voice did too much to me.
"Oh?" I asked.
My mouth is dry, and I have no idea what else to say.
"I see you wearing one of my shirts," he chuckled, "And nothing else."
"Are you sure there is nothing else?" I asked.
"I imagine I have a pretty great view of you," he stated, "And maybe I walked in a few good minutes before you couldn't wait anymore."
"And what about you?" I asked, "Could you feel me before you opened the door?"
It felt strange to me to be so into this, but I wanted it too.
"Yes," he said, "I could feel you, but the second my eyes land on you, all the blood rushes south."
"Is that so?"
He nodded against me, "That's when I get between your legs."
As he spoke, I realized that my nails were slightly digging into his chest.
"Yeah?"
"I'm in too big of a hurry to wait. I need you," he moaned, "I pull you closer and push down the front of my jeans."
I gulped.
"You barely have the chance to see it,�� he murmured, "I'm inside of you so fast."
I hated this. I hated the situation we were in.
Why couldn't we have met as humans?
Would I feel the same way?
I was interested in him right off the bat, so I believe so.
"And what sound do I make?" I asked, "When you push into me so quickly and roughly?"
"Shay," Noah said, "Please look away."
"What sound do I make?" I asked again.
He groaned, "You scream."
"A good scream?" I whispered.
He nodded, "And when I pause to give you a minute, you moan."
"Move up a little," I said.
He moved his hands to either side of my legs and pushed himself up a bit.
I buried my face in his neck.
"You won't look?" he asked.
"If you don't want me to, then no," I stated.
Even though, I would very much like to peek.
He did tell me his little fantasy.
Well, I'd like to make it a reality.
I was about to ask when he was about to start, but I heard him moan.
I could feel my own body heat increasing.
Was he really doing it?