In that black void where I could not even see my own hands something played, it was the voice of that woman. At first I didn't listen, but as time went on, there was nothing to do besides listen.
In the first segment, she spoke of ways of how to please a man, sexually, different techniques, and then talked about strange kinks she called S&M where the person got pleasure from either being humiliated and physically tortured or doing the humiliation and torture. She spoke on the milder side of it, then the more intense side, I didn't quite understand what she meant, how could someone find pleasure in being chained up and whipped?
In the second segment, she told me about becoming obedient to her, for this part I wasn't sure about what she said, all I know is that she wanted complete obedience from me. Her words melded together into incoherent words, but I felt like I knew what she was saying. It was a novel experience and feeling for me.
At first, I was fine, but after hours upon hours of listening to that woman's voice speaking about obedience and how to please men, that bullshit was about to make me go crazy. I no longer just heard her words, it was like her words resonated with me and they became my reality. I lost all sense of time in that cell and no matter how much I reminded myself her words were all bullshit, I eventually cracked and I believed them little by little.
I was constantly on edge by not being able to see anything added to the fact; my restricted my arm movement. Wet, slimy unidentified substance clung to my skin and a putrid, rotten stench nearly made me gag. Rats squeaking and roaches soft pitter patter buzzed in my ears about. Insects crawling over me I wanted to flick them off but I couldn't move my arms so I wriggled desperately trying to shake them off but that only made them agitated and they crawled over me even faster, it wasn't so bad to have them crawl over me but the thought of not knowing exactly what was crawling on me, irked me.
Seconds passed, minutes passed, hours passed, a few days passed.
But the cold, humid air already numbed my body. I was beyond dehydrated and I could feel my body eating away at itself. I hallucinated, or maybe that was just me dying? I would see my mother holding her hand out to me smiling gently but no matter what I did there was no way for me to reach her no matter hard I tried. Wasn't that just unfair? I wanted to know when I could die and see her sweet smile again.
I licked my lip and feeling the cracked dry surface came as a surprise. I could never utter a word stopped by the burning in my parched throat. To resolve that I survived by throwing my body over and lapping up the unknown substance like a dog, a rotten, fishy taste spreading across my tongue, but it was better than nothing and it felt like such a blessing for barren wasteland my tongue had become. To curb my hunger, I waited patiently on any bug that crawled over my lips before chomping on it, holding it with an iron grip. That was my meal. I wanted to die, but yet, I still did all these things to survive, I really couldn't understand that part of me; I was contradiction itself.
"I...s....su... submit," I could barely utter. My rugged voice slipped from my lips. After muttering those two words, I could no longer stay awake as I collapsed, all my strength draining.
"That took longer than expected, take her away, force-feed her some water and give her a warm bath, give her extra blankets," A woman's voice rang in the darkness.