The blazing sun hit me in the face, but I was unbothered as I peered into the blinding light. My entire body was sore and numb. I clenched my teeth in hatred as I placed my head in my hands gently, but not a single tear fell from my eyes. My tears had all already dried up, and I felt numb to all emotions besides hate. My thirst for revenge drove me with my hatred as the wheel. I stood up, ignoring the soreness from my body. The part of me that yearned for revenge consumed the one that yearned death.
I staggered towards the mirror in my room. I clenched my teeth and tore away the thin fabric that fell to my knees. I lightly tapped the mirror and stared at the black and blue bruises cluttered over my body.
My chaffed wrists turned red from being tied up. My body covered in hickeys, memories of the night flooded my brain and I clenched my fist till my nails bore through my skin and bright red blood trickled down my fist and creating soft patters as they hit the frosty mahogany floor.
I turned, looked in the mirror, observing the red swelling on my butt shooting flaming hot shocks through my body. I lightly tapped the area, sending a stinging pain through my body. I placed both my chaffed wrists on the mirror and leaned forward, staring at my emotionless eyes. I touched my face and continued staring into my eyes.
"Where did I go wrong, what did I do to deserve this, why? Just why?" I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the hard, cold mirror, "What did I do to deserve this punishment? I never asked for anything, I never yearned for something unattainable to me, so why? Why do I get this treatment? Why was I forsaken? Why can't I live like normal kids my age frolicking in the sunlight, falling in love, crying after a breakup, getting married, coming home to a warm mother and father? I hate this, I hate this, I hate it all."
I turned around and pushed my back against the mirror and slumped down slowly. I held my knees close and rested my face on my knees. I felt safer curled up into a little ball. It comforted me. I wanted to forget my worries and just stay here forever on my own.
I wanted to cry, no, howl my sorrows away, but not a sound slipped from my tongue; my face paralyzed and my eyes were dead. I just felt numb, I felt like it should depress me but all I felt was hatred for the universe, to myself and my uselessness and how powerless I was. To my father who abused me, for the clan members who neglected and humiliated me, for Erika who cowered in fear, for my mother who didn't stay with me till the end, for the people who looked at me and gossiped, for the men who took my belongings for the old man who betrayed me, that cloaked man who took me away, that woman, Lily, everyone, ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE!
I hated the world "Fuck my life," I mumbled and held my knees tighter and stayed there soaking in my emotions.