Five minutes and three seconds, five minutes and two seconds, five minutes and one second…
At that moment, in that dome filled with people who appeared to stare at her with a dark and wide smile plastered on their faces, inside the space of their set that now appeared to be bleak even in the midst of all those bright and supposed colorful lights, so far, she had said nothing. She just stood there as if she was staring through the man as he presented his words, to her and the crowd, seemingly like a poet voicing out his rage accompanied by a few kicks, punches and spit that failed to make her move but succeeded in making the others shout out so heartily. Nina just remained in her place with this tranquil smirk that seemed to be unyielding and yet looked to be so fragile as if all it needed was a whisper from the wind to break.
She wanted to be saved, looked at, adored and be praised. That was the reason why she chose to do nothing against this man, who she could not remember, showering her with words that felt ever so distant. Nina could no longer hear anything except for the crowd at her side that did nothing but laugh. All that she wanted, even though all that waiting continued to bore a hole through her chest as the clock ticked, was for someone to rise up from the demeaning crowd around them and save her.
Even as she saw the shadow of a man moving closer and closer, she chose to keep up her smile and not do anything. The next thing she realized was that she was down on the ground with that man on top of her, pushing his forearm deep into her throat in an attempt to choke her with a smile so wide that he failed to contain his saliva that was slowly dripping on her face.
"I really am the victim here! Do you remember it, Nina? We used to do this together only that it's more romantic, intimate and I had more fingers!" The man shouted with his voice so coarse as if he too had been strangled and with a few breaths in between that made his words slow, he continued, "I really enjoyed it too but fucking hell, I really thought that it could work, I worked my hardest, back then and even fucking now, even when you don't want to understand and even if these sick ass fuckers don't understand what even is happening anymore while they're watching. I was willing to accept it you know…" The man broke into tears as he peered through her glimmering but dead eyes. "It was okay for me to fucking accept that you're willing to whore yourself to anyone who would fucking slap your face and spit on you as long as they would fucking touch you out of pity a moment later so how about now? Are you liking this, you kinky-ass bitch? I…"
The man's saliva and white blood that mingled together came pouring on her like rain. Nina did her best to keep a straight face without squirming and at that moment, when she thought that she had failed and looked away, she saw a man that despite having the same face as the crowd at her side, he had a reaction that looked so different from the rest.
It was a man that made her feel a sense of pity among the crowd that looked at her with their darkest smiles. It moved her heart so much to the point that her whole world was silenced and slowed down at the moment they looked at each other's eyes despite the man's forced frown even though it was obvious that anyone could tell that there was a smile beneath his wrinkled lips.
"Just look at me, please… tell me… you don't mind me getting my life back right, right? I know it's for the others too… I… I… I can't remember them… shit! It's your fault! You don't even remember that you're the one who killed me!"
The time was three minutes and forty-seven seconds…
That was the moment she woke up from her self-inflicted trance and kicked him away. The man rolled to the ground while she staggered to her feet, shaking off the dizziness that she felt from all those hits and wiping off the blood and saliva that soiled her down to her shoulders.
"Stop, just stop, please… I don't even know who you are!" She shouted, looking back at the crowd where she saw that face and falling into a panic the moment she couldn't see where the man who supported her was.
"Look at me! Look at what you've done you fucking hero, you saved fucking no one, you've never even considered saving us, all you cared about is the praise you would get for showing that you at least fucking tried!" The man let out a loud high-pitched laugh as he stepped forward while heaving a deep breath. "I bet you even enjoyed the moment of them clinging to you even though you can't do shit to protect them, isn't that right? You loved that right? T-there's no problem for me to win right? I mean, you're the one who killed me after all…"
Faced with the clock behind her that for every tick rocked her body like an earthquake, she decided to be carried by that feeling of wanting to see that man as she gazed back at her audience. Disregarding the one who was just talking to her, she continued to look until that feeling of emptiness came over her and made her shove her middle fingers into the corner of her eyes, making it bleed as she believed that it was her tears.
"...I mean, I tried talking to you about it but when it ended up in a fight… it was like you were inviting me to hit you… and what the fuck did you do next? The moment I tried giving you your own medicine, I found myself the next day dead with a fucking knife stuck in my chest!"
"M-my name is Nina Lauren, I'm twenty-six years old… a model and an actress and I'm doing my very best until now, can you see it?" She laughed, not minding the other who was talking to her and with her smile getting wider as her eyeballs began to dangle in front of her bloodied face while she tried to dance. "I've been keeping it as a secret but… you know I've been poor right? My family had a lot of debts piled up and just as you guessed… I started selling my body at a very young age… We had nothing to eat so when I was young… when I was young… I had nothing to eat… so when I was young… my first time was with a policeman who my mother talked to when my brother was captured. Can you believe that? Can you believe—"
All she felt was something hitting her cheeks that caused her to fall down to the floor. It made her hold her breath but after a moment, she let out a shrill laugh that seemed more of a cackle before she proceeded to rip her skin like old rags from the rest of her body. It created a pool of white blood caused by her nails sinking deep into her flesh that even made the man step back in silence as the crowd laughed at her.
"Can you believe it? Now, something punched me and ravaged my body. Can you see it? Help me… help me, please… tell me… what's happening to me… look at me please…"
"Alright, contestants, you have thirty seconds left before our audience decides who lives." A proud yet mischievous tone then came by their ears that especially made her freeze. "To our audience please, hold onto the devices found under your seats if you haven't held onto yours and keep them steady until I say so."
Nina paused as if something had dawned upon her and after a sweet chuckle of a eureka moment, she turned herself over and crawled to where she believed where the crowd was. She dragged herself forward with her fingers that were fattened by blood and blubber while looking for that certain man even though she could see nothing but darkness. There, at the moment when the edge of the stage was within her arm's reach, an upbeat tone was played that was followed by the sound of people pressing buttons on those rectangular devices on their hands.
"I want to live… please look at me… I want to leave, please, vote for me… I want to live… I wanted to see the bright skies once again… I wanted to go back… I promise… I'll be good… I'll try my hardest too... even if it's hard, I won't give up, I'll push through it all and I won't drag anyone down… I promise… even if it's hard I would keep doing it so they would look at me and see how hard my life is and how hard I try… what? I mean, I want to… live, please… look at me… look at me and tell me what's happening to me… are you all heartless… do I really have to crawl to… please…"
"Alright," Jeremy clapped in the background, eyeing Nina lying on the pool of her own white blood on the floor and the man sitting on the sofa who stared at her blankly in silence. "Looks like our constants broke at the same time and we can't do much anymore," he added along with a dark playful chuckle. "Nevertheless, as our program dictates, send your votes before the time runs out," he pointed at the camera with a smile, "and yes, you too, for the people who are streaming this online, you should see a button on your screen that would let you send in your votes and don't leave just yet, hang around to see what happens next!"
"Please…" Nina whispered with her voice sounding more of a cry. "Is no one really going to address…
She then heard the sound of a buzzer that made the audience groan and after a moment of silence, with her frozen on the floor, she heard a few footsteps that slowly made its way towards her. All of them then heard a piece of booming upbeat music coming from the drummers and the guitarists in the distance as if they were doing a celebration and that's when the man, who sat in front of her said,
"I'm sorry, Nina, it looks like the other guy won," Jeremy said, looking back at the man on the sofa who seemed still with this broken smile drawn on his face.
"Though, I think we broke the guy but still, you know what that means. I'm starting to feel bad for you too you know…"
"Really?" Still seeing nothing but staring into his voice as the crowd reveled around her, she felt a piece of cold metal being pressed on her forehead. It made her close her eyes as his words that seemed so liberating began to reverberate through her ears. She was willing to accept this end for she felt that her heart seemed freed and relieved but then, she heard a gunshot in the distance that was followed by a body falling down to the floor.
"What? What happened?" She asked, widening her eyes despite her still seeing nothing.
"Oh, we killed Dick, if that's what you want to know," he replied before breaking into a laugh. "Fuckin' Dick Stroker, must've had terrible parents. Made me wonder how he even survived high school."
"Why?" She tilted her head and widened her smile.
"Oh… I mean…" Jeremy let out a chuckle.
"You chose me over him despite the audience?" Nina continued with a breath of relief.
"Ah." Jeremy smiled and tilted his head as he pulled his gun an inch away from her forehead that made her grin wider and with a tone full of affection and care, he added, "It meant that I lied."
That was the last thing she heard before everything fell completely silent.