Raphael hadn't felt this sluggish for a long time. Three years almost. But none of those times compared to how heavy his head felt now. To lift his head, he screwed up his face and groaned, managing to open his heavy eyelids for seconds at a time before forcing them to close. The room was too bright for his head.
His body ached, another feeling he hadn't felt in a while. But no unbearable, like too much exercise and not enough stretching. His bones felted rusted as he lifted his arms, in his head hearing his elbow creak and his shoulder clank. His hand found his face, which he used to rub away the lethargy in his eyes. He was tempted to curse as he lowered his arm, but remembered Anita may be in the room.
Anita!
Raphael's body sat upright, too quick as he was immediately met with a throbbing headache and a reminder his body had been assaulted. He yelled out and fell back against the bed he was lying on.
"Raphael! You're awake." His yell startled Maria, who had been sitting next to him reading. She shifted from her chair to the floor, kneeling beside the bedframe.
"Maria?" Raphael's tiredness made his eyes blurry, only able to see Maria's blurry face and blonde hair.
"You slept like a bloody rock," Sam informed from across the room, they were sitting at a desk across the room.
Raphael couldn't tell who it was at first, but upon blinking he saw Sam's face.
"Oh, hi Sam." Raphael studied the ceiling, he had seen it before; criss-cross of wooden beams in a very unique and silly way. He remembered the last time he felt confused about the ceiling, and a spike of panic rushed through him as he sat up, ignoring the pulsing pain in his side. "I'm at the church?"
Maria nodded, "You collapsed after you disarmed Detective Leroy. I didn't know where else to take you, the hospital was so far away."
Raphael winced as he pressed a hand to his side, suddenly feeling a different kind of restriction to his breathing. He sat up properly and lifted his shirt, seeing layers of bandages wrapped around his torso firmly. He attempted to wriggle a finger between a dressing, but it was too tightly wound to fit. He was hard for him to breathe, but he felt the dull ache in his side which was stronger than everywhere else.
"I was shot?"
Sam answered, "A bit dramatic, but yes. The bullet skimmed your side, between your ribs." Sam rose and lifted their arm, running their own fingers down some of their ribs to show where he had been shot. "Because of the beating, the doctor thinks you lost consciousness from shock more than blood loss." Sam sat at the end of Raphael's bed, "You gave us all a good scare though."
Raphael managed a smirk and nodded, "I apologise for that. Obviously, that wasn't my intention."
"Whatever your intention, thanks," Sam replied, "I don't know what they would've done to me if you weren't there. Who knows? Someone may have only just found me if I was left with them."
Raphael looked out the window, despite the curtains dull light framed it. "What time is it?"
"Early morning," Maria informed, "Perhaps six o'clock."
"How long was I sleeping for?" Raphael asked as he continued to rub his eyes.
"Maybe twelve hours," Sam replied, "You woke up a couple of times, but weren't coherent so I doubt you remember."
Raphael nodded, "You are correct. Everything is just black." He groaned as he rubbed his scalp and yawned. He wanted a mirror but was also terrified of what his hair may look like.
He looked around the room, taking in the familiar default bedrooms of the church, he shivered but dismissed it. "Is Anita at home?" he asked, he looked to Maria for an answer.
Maria seemed taken aback by this question and shook her head, "Umm… No, she's here as well."
Raphael's eyes widened, "What?"
"She came in with us," Maria explained, "She was worried about you like us..."
"So, she's still here?" Raphael could feel his hysteria rising as he kicked his legs out of the bed and went to stand, only to fall forwards. "Ahh!"
"Raphael!" Maria took his arm and helped him back on the bed.
"I need to see her. Where is she?" Raphael instinctively looked around the room for her, aware she wasn't in the room but hoping.
Sam seemed to understand the hysteria and spoke, "Phantom she had little choice. When we got here the nuns saw your state and took you straight inside. Anita waited on the edge of the gate petrified." Sam sat next to Raphael and continued, "She looked really bad Raphael, emotionally distraught. Some of the nuns attempted to bring her inside and she pulled the gun from the attack on them."
Raphael looked on in disbelief, "No." He shook his head, positive he was still dreaming, "Anita with a gun? No, she wouldn't do that, she wouldn't threaten the nuns."
"She did, Phantom. I had to disarm her," Sam informed, "She was horrified. But they convinced her to come in, she's on the church grounds." Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do?"
"What's the problem?" Maria asked. Raphael was still rubbing his eyes, messaging the headache that fuelled his growing disdain.
"This church is corrupt, that's the big deal!" Raphael didn't mean to yell and apologised immediately afterwards.
"There's still no proof of that, Phantom," Sam assured resting a hand on his shoulder.
Raphael felt the gesture but ignored the sympathy behind it.
"I don't care if there's proof or not, Sam, I lived it. I'm aware of what they do and so is Anita," he said. He attempted to stand again, this time gentler, and managed to balance on his feet. "I need to go see her. Where is she?"
Raphael could see Maria was flustered, confused by what he had just said, but he found that he didn't care. "Do you know where she is or not?"
Maria shook her head, speechless.
Raphael felt his teeth grind, aware that he likely appeared furious. He forced himself to relax his face and sighed, "I need to get her out of here. I need to get out of here." Raphael had never had trouble walking, but his legs felt like liquid. He grabbed Sam for support.
"Raphael you're in no position to be walking around," Sam informed.
"I don't care. I need to find her."
"You'll do no such thing!" Sister Wendy appeared in the doorway, displaying her intimidating stature only nuns could achieve.
"You have no right to keep her from me," Raphael countered. He attempted to walk but grimaced upon the first step.
"You have no right to her, Raphael. If anything, Miss Stephany here has told us, you're nothing more then a thief and a crook." He looked over his shoulder, casting a betrayed glare at Maria. She seemed shocked in return, attempting to speak but barely managing to mouth something. Sister Wendy approached, the closer she came the more frightened Raphael became. "We shall ensure Anita's placement with a good family goes in check, Raphael. She'll be safer with us in here."
Raphael shook his head, pushing Sam aside. "No. Absolutely not. You can't keep her against her will!"
The Sister seemed amused. "She's an ill-mannered child, no thanks to you," she declared, "We have grounds to keep her if it's for her own good. She doesn't know any other life other than the rotten one you could provide for her." She looked at Sam and Maria and asked politely for them to give herself and Raphael the room.
Begrudgingly, they both obeyed. "I'm right outside, okay?" Sam assured.
Raphael was flabbergasted. Ill-mannered? For her own good? Rotten?
"You can't take her for that reason!" he argued, "I'm the only one who understands her. If you take her from me she'll have no one!"
Sister Wendy chuckled, "I think you're putting yourself on a pedestal there, Raphael. She is a child; my only concern is for her wellbeing."
Raphael shook his head, being forced to sit down from his side.
"You wouldn't even touch her when no one wanted her," he spat, "She was nothing but a street urchin to you. A feral from the streets, no chance of being adopted or finding someone who would care for her. You said to my face that she was a lost cause!" Raphael gasped as he looked down to his side, despite the wound being a skim it was still agonising.
"And we were wrong," Sister Wendy admitted, "It happens. You of all people knew her before you put a roof over her head. Even you came to us looking to get her adopted out, you came to us despite your perceived negative view of us. But you've proven to us that she can be adopted, that she can be a daughter, a sister, not a brat or a monster."
He started panting, his anger bubbling but forcing it to calm as he said, "I care about her, Sister Wendy. I know her, I know what she likes, and dislikes and I know how to take care of her."
"By lying to her? By putting her in traumatising situations?" Sister Wendy countered, "Look at you? Look at what has become of you! Shot in the middle of the night, dragged here by some young laides? And on top of this, I've had troubling conversations with her over the last few hours. Do you use her for your own thieving? Manipulate her into doing anything you tell her to do? She is eleven, Raphael. She has witnessed an attempted murder because of you." She shook her head, disgusted by Raphael's actions, "She's deeply troubled, and your influence over her will only make it worse."
Raphael gritted his teeth, "She's a good kid, Sister. But if you take her away from what she knows, it may destroy her."
Sister Wendy shook her head, "No, Raphael. You fear it may destroy you." She grabbed the wooden chair by the desk and brought it over to him, placing it in front of him to talk, "You were nothing but a violent child when you were with us, Raphael. And we would all be damned if we let this little girl end up anything like you." She told him to look at her, struggling, he obeyed and lifted his head. "Is this the life you want Anita to have? To constantly look over her shoulder, to be frightened of everything outside of her books or in her home? We can find a family who will make her feel safe, who will love and cherish her."
Raphael could feel his eyes tearing up, he forcefully wiped them, "I love her though. I make her feel safe."
"But are you the best thing for her? She can't tell you that. And you aren't a family. You're just a young man, a charismatic, mature, idiosyncratic child yourself. It's too much to expect you to raise her given your own familial situation, Raphael." She reached out and touched him, something Raphael felt was very daring of the nun. "All this thieving lifestyle of yours can do is destroy one of you."
Raphael felt his lungs quake, suddenly unable to breathe as he tried to withhold himself from crying. He was frustrated at himself, as it only seemed to prove her point more. "It's not fair on her and it's not fair on you. You too need to take some time to take care of yourself."
Raphael could feel himself losing his head, fuelled by his pain and his outrage, he could feel things beginning to unravel. Sister Wendy acknowledged this with, "You don't look well, my dear." She rose from her seat and strolled back out the door, "Perhaps we should discuss this when you're better."
"Can I at least talk to Anita?" Raphael asked.
The Sister's silhouette stayed in the light of the doorway as she looked over her shoulder.
"I think this is a decision you need to make on your own." She disappeared from the frame, leaving Raphael in the lonely room.