Maria sat by Sam in the dining hall of the church. It was a large room with basic furniture; a dozen wooden tables with matching benches taking up a large bulk of the room, aside from a large rectangle of space by the door and before the kitchen window. Maria hadn't spent much time at the church since arriving a few days ago, this was the second time she had been in the dining table, but it was bustling with kids and nuns alike.
The orphans who lived there had breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same times every day, from the two times she had seen the kids correlate in the dining hall everyone seemed to sit in the same place and there seemed to be exactly the right number of chairs.
Sam sat on the table and rested his feet on the bench. He seemed bored as he hunched forwards and rested his elbows on his knees. After a moment, he heaved a sigh.
"What was Raphael talking about?" Maria asked, "The church being corrupt I mean."
Sam took a moment to answer, frowning in thought. "He wouldn't have told you about when he was a kid, did he?"
Maria shook her head, "Obviously we aren't that close."
Sam hummed as he gave a quick scan of the room, noticed they were alone, and took off his hat, messing up his dirty blonde.
"The place doesn't have the best reputation. A few years ago, I had overheard my Father talking about how children were kept there against their will because they were orphans. To take care of them, the monarchy had a programme where orphanages were given a certain amount of money to take care of their orphans since the Queen wanted Paris to be a thriving city." Sam hopped off the table and planted his feet in front of Maria as he continued, "Some orphanages took advantage of this, finding loopholes and interpreting minute details rather broadly. So they took kids with neglectful parents, or runaways, or ones whose parents are missing or overseas travelling for long periods of time. Some wouldn't allow kids to get adopted out because that would mean less money coming in under this programme. Because of this, the police started shutting down orphanages and removing the kids and such and so one. But with so many orphanages and so many claims, it was hard to figure out the whole 'real orphan, fake orphan' issue."
Maria was surprised how articulate Sam was when he spoke of this, the way he rocked on his heels showed he was uncomfortable on the subject. Despite this, he added, "Some orphanages attached themselves to churches, where police didn't have as much power because of the sacredness of churches and their reputation to take in troubled children to rehabilitate them. This church, a few years ago, was accused of following the same practices of fake orphans. Raphael was part of that scheme."
"Scheme?"
"Do you know about his Father?"
Maria nodded, "I know he's missing."
"A couple of months ago he told me his mother had died and his Father was missing. He was maybe fourteen or fifteen when this happened, making him a minor in the eyes of the law and the church. But what was worse, he was an orphan because he had no living legal guardians." Sam systematically looked over his shoulder, scanning each window and out every door as if there was a musical beat in his head telling him to do it. "Raphael wasn't an orphan though, so he was taken here against his will and they… did things to him."
Maria felt a lump form in her throat, "Things?"
"Creepy, religious, brainwashing things," he clarified, "Churches who harbour children raise them to be Christian, believe in God, and worship all that kind of stuff. Makes them look good when parents want to adopt. But they went to extremes with Raphael because he wasn't raised with religion in his life, he was a teenager with no Christain mindsets. He told me they use to bound his left hand if he tried to use it, lock him in a 'repentant closet,' punished him for ridiculous things and he suspected there was corruption amongst the priests. He was isolated from other kids and forced to pray for hours on end to fix his anger issues, he's acting out and such." Sam continued looking around the room, "But moreover, countless kids were held against their will and not being adopted out. I told my Father about it, and they considered it, but the church denied the claims."
"Perhaps Raphael was lying?" Maria suggested, these accusations making her skin crawl.
Sam shook his head. "No one gets adopted at this church. It's never advertised. Kids come here as kids and leave here as adults. They can't leave the grounds during the day and must be in bed by seven at night. They don't interact with people outside these walls, only each other and the nuns."
Maria felt her heart beat in her ears, consciously feeling her teeth begin to grind. "How did Raphael get out of it then?"
"His Father isn't dead," Sam informed, "He never told me how that mattered, but apparently he could prove his Father wasn't dead. They had no legal reason to hold him and he escaped the cycle."
Maria ran her hands up her arms, suddenly feeling very cold. "But they have schools here, beds and food. I've seen some playing in the courtyard. They seem happy."
Sam thought for a moment, "How old were they?"
Maria shrugged, "Younger then Anita."
"They focus on brainwashing the older kids more than younger ones," Sam explained, "It's harder to get older kids under control then little ones."
"But they've been nothing but delightful to me. Hospitable even."
"You're eighteen and from a completely different town, they wouldn't risk an outsider finding out about this kind of operation," Sam seemed exasperated, looking around the dining hall's ceiling. "They would only accept kids that made them look good; mute children, babies, traumatised ones from the streets. Luring them in with the promise of food and a bed, but rejected ferals, thieves, and liars, and if they did accept them they didn't remain like that for long." Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, "This place has the potential to be good, but it goes about it all... wrong. Raphael had told me about this place. He had me promise if anything happened to him that Anita wouldn't end up here."
"They won't really trap Anita here, will they?" Maria could feel a panic resting in her stomach.
Sam shrugged, "I don't know anything about that. But he was adamant about her not coming here." Maria fell silent, the church now under a veil of darkness. "Did you actually tell them about Raphael's thievery?"
Maria shook her head, "No, of course not. I wrote it down in a journal, a mere mention in a passing sentence about him when we met."
There was a loud clicking sound. The pair looked across the room and watched Raphael approach, someone had given him a crutch to bear his weight. Maria perked at the sight of him, but her smile slowly dropped, not recognising the boy who approached them. He hung his head low, he walked but with heavy steps and everything about him seemed grey.
Maria saw Raphael but found no trace of the one she first met, the one who looked for her violin music, displayed charismatic confidence and had an air of whimsy regardless of what he was doing. This was a hallowed clone of who he was, of who Maria knew he was.
When Raphael approached them, he lifted his head and managed a smile. "Hello ladies," he announced as he sat down on a bench beside Maria.
Sam grunted at him. "You don't look well."
"My body has had time to register what's happened to it," Raphael informed. Maria could see his pain whenever he moved his torso, the simple action of leaning the crutch against the table forced a grimace to his face. "I feel like hell."
"Have you seen Anita yet?" Maria asked.
Raphael glowered at Maria, the gentle nature she had seen in his eyes the night before completely gone. "No," he said simply, "They won't let me see her."
"I'm sure it means nothing," Sam assured.
Raphael shook his head, an action he pushed through despite being in obvious pain. "It doesn't matter anymore."
Maria's eyebrows furrowed, but before she could enquire, she heard the excited shrill of a little girl.
"Raphael!" Anita stood in the doorway and went to run, but Sister Wendy, who stood beside her, produced a wooden staff and blocked her, causing her to halt. The loud whack of the wood on the tiled grounds startled even Maria. After passing a glare, she deliberately lifted the staff and Anita walked, slowly, by Sister Wendy. Maria could see her want to race down the aisle of tables and benches to Raphael, who had cringed at the sound of the loud whack, almost as if he had been struck.
By the time Anita had made it down to them, Raphael had stood up and waited for her. Anita stood before him and threw herself against him, uncaring of his physical pain as she tightly embraced him. Her voice sounded brittle, "Thank God you're okay."
Raphael seemed winded, hunched over from Anita's hug as he tried to suppress his pain. He was successful, and a strange façade of the previous Raphael made an appearance as Raphael kneeled to Anita's size.
Anita started to babble, frantically recounting everything that had happened while he was asleep. She seemed vastly different from what Maria remembered only a few hours before. She watched Raphael smile and nod, chuckling as he made well-timed short statements such as 'Really?' and 'Wow.'
Maria's heart felt heavy the longer she watched this interaction. With Anita brightly smiling and talking, while with every word Raphael's façade started to crumble before her eyes. Anita noticed this quickly, her chatter slowly became quieter, until she asked in a small voice, "Can we go home now, Ralphie?"
His mask had shattered as his sigh trembled. He managed to shake his head, "I'm afraid… something has come up, Ann."
Anita breath hitched, "What?"
Raphael looked to Sister Wendy over Anita's shoulder, who gave him a firm nod, as he said, "You're not coming home with me, Ann."
The news staggered Anita, taking a few steps back as the early signs of hyperventilating gripped her. She shook her head, "No… no, don't say that. Never say that."
"Anita, I've spoken with Sister Wendy, and we both agree it would be better for you if you stayed here," he explained.
Anita looked to the nun behind her, Maria watched as her eyes grew glassy, growing more and more fragile. She shook her head, "No."
"Anita-"
"No, no!" Anita rushed up to him and shoved him, hard. He nearly lost his balance as she continued shoving him, pushing him, punching him on the chest, in the torso, where she knew Raphael was hurt. Maria watched him endure it. He didn't stop her, and he didn't object.
"Raphael, no!" Her screech was met by a final punch, her hand staying on his chest and scrunching his shirt. "You promised me," her voice cracked as her cheeks became silver with tears, "You promised I would never end up here, that you would always look after me."
He nodded, grabbing her shoulders, "This is precisely what I'm doing Anita. I can't look after you anymore… I… I can't protect you anymore."
Maria sat stunned, unable to talk, unable to move. Looking to Sam, he seemed in a similar state.
"This is just better for you right now," Raphael added, attempting to make the situation happy. "I'm just not good enough anymore."
Anita furiously shook her head, shouldering off his hands, "That's not for you to decide!"
"Anita, you can't leave here dearie. You don't have a proper home to return to," Sister Wendy explained calmly.
Anita turned to look at her and shook her head, "No, I do. I live with Raphael, I'm Anita Dane." She took quick, long breaths, wiping her cheeks and eyes whenever she felt fresh tears.
"Anita, Raphael has no legal rights to you. No one does, darling. You are an orphan." Anita looked back to Raphael, a mixture of glare and plead gleaming in her eyes.
"Orphan…" Anita's small voice sounded so unfamiliar with the voice, "You're just going to let her call me that…"
Maria winced at the statement, understanding the harshness surrounding that title, but unable to keep from feeling offended herself.
But Raphael replied with something far more frightening, "Anita, you are an orphan."
The assault was almost immediate, almost before he had finished the statement Anita slapped him. Her hysteria disappeared, replaced with an expression of sadness and betrayal.
"What did they do to you, Raphael?" she asked, her eyes streaming droplets of tears.
Raphael shook his head, "They just opened my eyes to something I've been ignoring for quite a while."
Anita shook her head firmly, her tears solid enough to fly from her cheeks and splash on the ground.
"What did I do?" she countered, her hands holding his face as she sobbed, "What did I do, Raphael?"
Raphael took her hands from his face and held them together.
"Nothing, Anita. You're perfect, more than perfect. None of this is your fault." He reached a hand out, resting his hand on her cheek to wipe away the tears with his thumb, "Listen to me, none of this is your fault. None of it. This is just… what's best for you."
Anita dropped her head, opting to look at the ground to his face.
"Sister Wendy has promised me you'll get adopted to a family, Ann. They can take care of you, you can leave Paris maybe. Everything will be better." Anita stayed silent, her eyes closing as two final tears streamed down her face again. Raphael brushed aside some of her hair, "Sometimes things just have to change. And they can be for the better."
Maria watched some men come into the room, larger men whom she had seen perhaps once on the church grounds. They wore navy colours, and, while unintimidating, she sensed they were here for a darker reason.
Anita lifted her head, and in a calm, matter-of-fact voice, she stated, "So change them back."
"Anita-"
"Adopt me, Raphael!"
The room fell silent at this request, Raphael even expressing a look of shock. But it surpassed, and he shook his head, "No, Anita."
"But it's legal, Raphael. You can adopt me, you can make me Anita Dane and then we could leave!" Anita became adamant with this idea, desperately clinging to it. "We could stay together, there wouldn't be any troubles, any worries, any-"
"Anita, no!" Raphael raised his voice to silence her, he panted through his nose to try and calm himself down, but his puffy red eyes and flushed face proved how ineffective it was. "You're staying here, you'll be safe here, you won't be put in danger here." He shook his head, suddenly very firm, "I'm not leaving here with you. I will not put you in danger again." He stood up, his face out of reach for Anita, he couldn't bring himself to look at her as he finally said, "I don't want you anymore."
Maria stared in disbelief, watching as Anita staggered back again as if she had been struck.
"What did they do to you, Raphael?" her question was airy, just louder than a whisper, "Why are you trying to make me hate you?"
Sister Wendy spoke, "Alright, times up. Gentlemen?" She gestured to the two men in the room, who approached the situation.
They each grabbed one of Anita's small arms. "No! No! Raphael! Please!" She squealed, realising the sudden danger she was in as one of the men lifted her from the ground when she refused to move. "Oww! Let go of me! No!"
Raphael looked to her, "Don't hurt her!" He took one step, but a wooden staff slammed inches before his foot, the sound alone seeming to halt him.
"You can adopt me Raphael, that's legal. That would fix everything!" She struggled in their grip, "No! Why are you doing this? Raphael! Please!"
They started to walk away with her flailing over one of their shoulders, her yells of protest bouncing off the halls. "You promised! You promised we would stay together! You promised!"
Maria felt short of breath, clasping her hands to hide the tremble. Her face screwed, suddenly realising how close to tears she felt over the desperate shrill of Anita, who continued long after the men had carried her from the dining hall. She heard a sniff, lifting her head to see Sam had cried. He wiped his face repeatedly with his sleeves and looked to the ceiling, attempting to blink away their tears.
The only noise left in the room was the heavy breathing and the eventually click of the staff lifting from the tiles.
"You made the right choice, dear," Sister Wendy informed plainly, she patted him on the back and started walking away. "We'll make sure she finds a good home. Feel free to spend the day collecting your things and gather your thoughts." Her coo like voice contrasted the blanketed feeling Maria suddenly felt for the once sweet woman.
Maria rose to her feet, suddenly feeling very weak, but looked to Raphael. His head was hung again, his short hair managing to cast shadows over his eyes, his body tensed as his fists trembled with how tightly he balled them. His breathing became heavy, methodical deep breaths shook as he lifted his head.
"Raphael…?" Maria suddenly felt fearful of Raphael. Darkness cast over him as everything relaxed upon hearing her voice. He made a final breath and turned on his heels, ignoring the crutch he had walked in with, and left through the opposite door to Anita, giving neither Maria nor Sam a glance.