I stood on the stairs down the hall from Zeld's room the twins standing guard suddenly scared to go in. What if I didn't like the answers? what if he really was just using me to get to the blue moon pack?
I shook my head no this was Zeld he would never do something like that. Taking a deep breath I headed towards the twins. Just as I was about to walk past they both stopped me.
"Sorry Raven alphas orders."
I growled looking to both of them.
"To everyone or just me?"
They exchanged glances giving me my answer. Now I was furious how dare he pull rank on me. I wasn't apart of his pack even if I was i wouldn't be just another member. I crossed my arms.
"You know I could make you move right?"
I knew they were both thinking of what happened in the woods.
"We know"
one of them answered.
"But we're hoping you won't do that otherwise we could get in trouble."
The other finished. I growled returning my anger towards the one that deserved it.
Turning I headed right back to Ki's room now it was my turn to be angry and I would make him listen. He will not determine who I spend time with I don't care who he is.
As I burst through the door however I was not prepared for what I saw.
The room was completely trashed well worse then it was anyway. The furniture was destroyed as were the books there were claw marks and bite marks on everything.
"Let me guess the twins wouldn't let you in so now you want to talk?"
I turned towards his voice and my heart broke at the tears in his eyes. As he sat against the wall his legs bent he stared at the room.
Rushing to him my anger forgotten I wrapped my arms around his neck. At first he didn't move his arms remaining on his knees. Then with more force then I could have anticipated he returned the embrace burying his head in my neck.
"I'm sorry Rave I was just so scared I'd lost you."
I shook my head my own tears surfacing.
"No I'm sorry Ki I shouldn't have let him take me out there I just got so excited when he said he could help me control my power."
I pulled away as I stared into his eyes.
"But Ki you have to understand I'm not someone you can order about and expect to do what ever you tell me to do. If Zeld can help me control my power then I'm going to let him. You may not like it but he's already taught me so much in only a few minutes. I promise I won't leave the estate grounds if that helps but I will still keep training with him."
He sighed looking towards the ground his tears now gone but his eyes held traces of them.
"I'm sorry Rave but i can't risk this pack any more."
I sat back confused.
"What are you saying?"
His eyes returned to mine.
"He leaves tomorrow."
I shook my head. How could he do this he knew how important Zeld was to me. He knew how important regaining my powers was. I moved away from him.
"Ki no please think about this-"
"I have thought about it Rave it's too high a risk. If he can do as you say and has the same power as you he's too dangerous to have around. I should be killing him but I'm not."
I slowly moved away from him as he reached for my hand. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Rave-"
I backed away as he tried to reach for me again.
"Don't do this Ki."
Ki stared down at me his face broken the various cuts and bruises causing by Zeld a sharp contrast to the sadness in his eyes.
"It's already done."
I couldn't let Zeld leave he was the only one who could help me with my powers. He might even be able to completely unlock them. I needed his help if I was going to stop this feeling of uselessness that surrounds me every where I go.
My mind reeled with what I was about to do but I knew it was the only way. Steeling myself I stood up straighter as I looked up at Ki.
"Then I'm going too."
Ki eyes narrowed at my words like he was waiting for the punch line.
"What do you mean your going?"
My resolve grew as I realised it was the only way. I didn't belong in a pack not as I am now. I was not ready to be Luna. How can I expect wolves to fight for me when I didn't have the strength needed to fight for them. I was barely a wolf they needed more then what I had to give. Especially against my sister.
tears started escaped my eyes as I looked into his face so full of hurt.
"Im leaving Ki when Zeld goes I'm going with him."
Ki shook his head denying my words. This time when he reached for me I let him. His hands were on my arms as he bent his knees getting level with my eyes.
"Please Rave tell me your joking?"
Another tear escaped.
"I'm serious Ki I understand why you can't let him stay here but I can't let him go. You have the pack to think about and as much as you don't think so It's because of them that I have to do this."
I sighed.
"Zeld can help me get stronger help me learn control theres no one else here who can do the same."
He cupped my face making my decision even harder as his eyes glazed over his own tears surfacing again.
"Rave I know the blue moon pack has lost our power through the years but that doesn't mean I can't help you to learn control. At least give me the chance to try. It's our bond that returned your power in the first place how could you believe that being apart would be the answer?"
"Ki I'm trying to get stronger for you and the pack I know you keep telling me I'm strong in other ways but In my own eyes I feel useless. I want to feel like I belong to this pack that I deserve to be it's Luna and I can't do that if I can't control my power. What if I hurt someone like I hurt you today?"
An image of him being thrown into the tree earlier flashed before my eyes.
"Or worse I kill someone I'd never forgive myself and the pack would never forgive me."
Ki pulled me into his arms despite trying to keep my distance to make this easier I found myself returning his embrace.
"It wouldn't be forever Ki just till I can control this power."
"I don't want to loose you."
I squeezed tighter.
"You won't loose me."
He pulled away a tear escaping his eye.
"Then why do I feel like I already have?"
I kissed his lips.
"You will never loose me Ki we are mates I will always come back to you but I need to do this."
He shook his head pulling back his eyes started to glow determination in his voice.
"No I won't let you go!"
I stepped back.
"Ki don't!"
He pulled me back to him.
"As alpha I'm ordering you to stay."
I growled as the order washed over me forcing me into submission.
"What have you done?!"
I cried as I stepped away from him.
"What I had to I will not let you leave with someone who's just using you to get to this pack!"
I growled pushing at his chest.
"How could you!"
He grabbed my wrists I tried to escape his hands but it was useless I had used all my energy earlier in the woods.
"You will stay here and your so called brother will be leaving I will not let you put this pack in danger. Like it or not Raven you will be Luna one day and the needs of the pack must always come before the needs of our own."
"If you think I'm not thinking of the pack then you don't know me at all. You can't control everything Ki and you can't just use your alpha status every time we disagree that's not how a relationship works."
"And you think you leaving is how a relationship works?! You can't run away every time things get to hard!"
"I wasn't running away I had no choice but to leave. Zeld can't stay here and I can't learn control without him. Now you've taken that choice from me Ki for the second time. This is why our bond doesn't grow because you don't know how to trust. You say I'm the one that can't trust you but it's you that doesn't trust anyone least of all me."
I turned towards the door pausing my hand on the doorknob.
"If you can't trust me Ki being mate to you means nothing."
I went back to Zeld's room this time i didn't care what Ki had ordered after what he'd done. I wanted a chance to at least say good bye.
The twins said nothing as I opened the door closing it behind me. Zeld rushed forward taking me in his arms.
"Rav thank god what happened did he hurt you?"
He started inspecting me for any injuries.
"Zeld I'm fine Ki wouldn't hurt me."
"Not intentionally no but he had no control that's the only reason I stopped him if I hadn't he would have hurt you trying to get to me."
I sighed as he pulled me toward the couch sitting us both down.
"I came to say good bye."
Zeld pulled me back in his arms.
"The twins told me he's right you know I would do the same if I was him."
I pushed him away.
"How can you say that! You belong here with me."
Zeld sighed suddenly seeming very tired.
"I have to go back Rav."
"Go back? What do you mean go back?"
His eyes returned to mine as his hand touched my cheek.
"I have to return to the moon goddess pack."
I slapped his hand away standing up.
"You can't! They will kill you for coming here! How could you even think about going back there?!"
He stood aswel taking my hands in his.
"I have my reasons Rav but just know that everything I'm doing is for you to ensure that you survive what's to come."
I shook my head.
"What are you talking about Zeld? If this is about my sister then why can't you help from here why do you have to go back?"
"It's complicated I will tell you everything just not yet."
"What does that even mean? What aren't you telling me?"
He lips curved in a small smile.
"I think you already know."
I raised my eyebrows in confusion I started to open my mouth to deny his words but the words never came as realisation struck. I stared into his eyes, green like my own. while it was harder to figure out the origins of every wolf these days our eye colour no longer the thing that pointed us towards our true pack, I had wondered why our eyes were both green as it was not a common colour among our kind.
As I stared into them it all came together his eyes his power the size of his wolf almost as big as Loki's. My eyes widened its true Loki and I were not the last of our pack Zeld was a true forest lakes wolf.
"How is this possible?"
Zeld pulled me close.
"Now you know why I have to go back ever since I gained my wolf we have been searching for clues in the moon goddess pack. Searching for anything that will tell me where Tharon found me and if there are more of us. I believe it's possible that our pack lives and I think they have been hiding ever since Tharon's attack that almost wiped them out."
I shook my head.
"But Zeld you don't understand Shiya plans to use a bounty hunter to control Tharon you can't go in there alone."
He frowned.
"Of corse that was her plan why didn't I see it?."
His eyes searched my face.
"I have to confess something I lied before when Ki asked me about the bounty hunter. I didn't over hear Shiya on the phone. The injuries I got were from escaping Quell. Shiya sent him after me first."
I stepped back horrified at what he was saying.
"How do I know he wasn't successful?"
Zeld smiled.
"Because forest lakes wolves can not be controlled it's part of the reason Tharon wanted them gone. I don't expect you to take my word for it but next time you speak to Caryi ask her and she'll tell you the truth."
I couldn't believe this all of this was to much to take in.
"But wouldn't Shiya know that? she is part forest wolf as well."
Zeld laughed.
"But she doesn't know I am since I've told no one til now. Not to mention she's not a true forest lakes wolf almost all of her powers she inherited from Tharon there's next to no Forest lake blood in her."
It all made sense now she always did hate me but it got worse after she turned sixteen and shifted for the first time. However it also made her more dangerous if she has Tharon's power then the blue moon pack was in far more danger then they thought.
The only reason Tharon won against a pack as strong as the forests lakes is because he had the power to nullify others. The only power it didn't work on was mind manipulation Shiya was smarter then she made out to be.
I looked to Zeld.
"But what's stopping the bounty hunter from doing the same to Shiya?"
He sighed.
"Well it's our bad luck that that's the one thing Shiya did inherit from her mother was an immunity to Quells powers. If your right and she's moving against Tharon I have to stop her she's far more dangerous then anyone knows. Now you see why I have to go back?"
He tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
"Id love it if we could just run away from all this but I'd rather you stay here where you'll be safe."
I turned my back on him angrily. Why did everyone think I needed protecting? Even Zeld thought I couldn't handle myself what more could I do to make them see I was not as helpless as they all thought.
"Rav please don't be angry."
I spun on him gritting my teeth.
"How could I not be I thought you of all people wouldn't treat me like some helpless lamb yet here you are telling me that I'm too weak to come with you."
Zeld tried to grab my hands but I stepped out of range.
"Don't Zeld your just like everyone else the only reason I'm weak is because my mother put this stupid curse on me and I hate her for it."
Zelds face held a confused look.
"Your mother? Rav it wasn't your mother who cursed you it was your father."
My mouth opened in shock.
"I overheard Thron talking about it one day after you left Loki cursed you then gave you to Tharon."
I shook my head my knees collapsed underneath me. Loki lied to me my own father gave me away to a mad man. How could he do that to me why would he do that to me? Zeld knelt in front of me.
"I'm sorry Rav I'm sure he had his reasons."
"What reasons Zeld? is there ever a good reason to curse your only child and hand them over to the man responsible for killing your whole pack?!"
It was too much after what happened earlier that day with my powers and The fight with Ki. Zeld's secret and now Loki's lies, was there anyone in my life that I could trust? Was there anyone that didn't try to lie, control or make me feel weak?
After all of it my mind shut down my body shut down everything came crashing down as Zeld disappeared before me. The last thing I remember is Zeld catching me as I passed out in his arms.