While we ate Zeld told me all about when he first shifted.
"It was amazing Rav the first shift is always the best."
I watched his face as he recalled it.
"I can't wait to shift for the first time."
'Nor can I to finally feel the ground beneath my paws.'
Caryi sighed, I laughed at her enthusiasm.
"What?"
"Caryis excited."
"I bet she is I can't wait to see her I mean I've seen her in the vision...."
His voice trailed of as he remembered what could happen. My own eyes darkening.
"Rav what if we don't go find the forest lakes pack?"
I stared at him confused.
"What do you mean we have to go."
"Do we? In the vision it's on a field of snow we are surrounded by snow. Your with the forest lakes pack so what if we never went? How could it happen if we never join them."
Our eyes stayed glued to each other.
'It's not as simple as that Small one. If you spend all your life avoiding your destiny worse things could happen.'
I repeated Caryi's words to Zeld.
He sighed.
"I guess she's right I just i don't think I could live through that again it was bad enough watching it from the side lines let alone living it."
"I know how you feel Zeld but what else can we do?"
We sat in silence the knowledge of the future weighing on our minds.
"I don't know Rav."
I sighed getting up off the ground where we had been eating.
"I'm going to bed."
Zeld watched me get in the bed silent as ever. Closing my eyes I drifted off to sleep.
Wolves were all around me I saw them my pack they were out numbered. I rushed forward in wolf form as I tore through the invading wolves. My wind forcing them back. My canines tearing through fur and flesh blood dripping from them.
A grey and white wolf stood out from the rest about to be mauled by a forest wolf.
'Ki!'
'Falc!'
Both Caryi and I screamed as we prepared to charge forward but a tan wolf used our distraction to latch on to our throat.
'Raven!'
Zelds voice sounded in my head as more wolves bit down and scratched. The pain was unbearable as I tried to use my wind but it didn't work. They were all moon goddess wolves my wind was useless against them.
I could see Zeld through the wall of fur as he was taken down aswel.
"Zeld!"
My eyes snapped open as I sprang up expecting to see wolves. It was dark I looked around panicked as hands grabbed my shoulders.
"Rav!"
Zeld's voice made me freeze in place.
I instantly wrapped my arms around him tears in my eyes.
"I saw it again you tried to save me I couldn't get free. I felt it all, all the pain. I wasn't just watching this time I was living it!"
Zeld hands caressed my hair as I cried into his chest.
"It's alright Rav I won't let you die, I won't let anything happen to you."
I pushed him away.
"It's not me I'm worried about it's every one else it's you you die because you were trying to protect me! You die because I get distracted."
"What are you talking about Rav?"
Swinging my legs over I see again Ki's wolf form about to be attacked.
"During the battle I see Falc and Ki about to be killed my a forest wolf as I'm about to save him that's when Shiya goes for my throat. I get distracted giving her an opening which leads to you trying to save me. We all die because of me!"
Zeld forced me to face him.
"No Rav what happens in the future is not your fault it's Shiya's. She's the reason all this is happening and even if after all this we still end up on that battle field it'll be because of her, because she enjoys inflicting pain. If you think any of this is your fault you might as well give up now and hand yourself over to her."
He cupped my face wiping the tears from my eyes.
"If you give up remember this. where you go I go."
I felt my heart pounding as I stared into his eyes our faces were inches apart. What was happening why was I all of a sudden nervous to be near him. Blinking I shook my head pulling back avoiding his eyes. Clearing my throat I lay back down.
"Sorry I didn't mean to freak out."
Taking the hint he forced a smile.
"Good night Rav."
Before he turned I caught the look of saddness in his eyes as he returned to the couch where he must have been sleeping.
Closing my eyes again I tried to go back to sleep.
'Whats happening to me?'
'Can you not see it?'
I heard zeld's heart beat it was just as fast as mine. I knew like me he was only pretending to sleep.
'No Ki is my mate Zeld is my beta nothing more. This is just because I'm missing Ki.'
'If you say so small one.'
I ignored her as I cleared my mind of everything and slowly I fell back asleep.
After we checked out of the hotel we headed east towards the national park. We couldn't risk shifting til we were far enough away from civilisation. We were loaded with snow gear and food enough for three days just in case.
Zeld had the map as I followed behind him, the white landscape was beautiful I couldn't help but admire it. We traveled in silence the only noise the sound of our footsteps.
Finally after a day of travel Zeld found a spot to rest.
"Right I think we're far enough away to shift."
I sighed.
"Thank god."
He laughed as he started to strip, quickly I turned around.
"Bit of warning next time."
Zeld laughed harder as his laugh turned into a wolffish equivalent. Zeld nudged me as I dropped my bags. His black nose sniffing at my ear.
"Do you mind?"
His voice chuckled in my head.
'Come on Rav I want to get a few more hours in.'
I scowled at him.
"Well turn around."
He shook his head his fur flinging snow everywhere.
"Zeld!"
He laughed.
'Alright alright.'
He turned around his tail wagging.
"And no peeking."
I stripped as I got down on my hands and knees.
'What do I do?'
Caryi seemed to go silent.
'Caryi?'
'Im here small one first you must feel the snow beneath your paws, how it moves how it's coldness travels up your legs cooling you down. Your ears can hear the smallest sound as it echos off the snow and mountains. Your sense of smell can tell if their prey even if they be a mile away. Your fur keeps you warm against the snow.'
I did as she said as I closed my eyes and heard her words echo in my head. I opened my eyes but nothing happened.
"Have you shifted yet?"
I ignored him.
'Why isn't it working?'
Caryi sighed.
'I was afraid of this.'
'Of what?'
'While you have gained the ability to hear me we still can't shift.'
"Are you fucking kidding me."
I yelled out loud.
Zeld spun around.
I didn't even care that I was naked in front of him as I started putting my cloths back on.
"It's no use I still can't shift."
'Are you serious?'
I growled.
"Would I joke about something like this?!"
I finished getting dressed as I planted myself on the ground.
"This was a stupid idea I knew I wasn't meant to be alpha."
'Don't say that Rav you will shift we've seen the future-'
"Yea a future where both of us die how do we know if that wasn't my first shift. What if that's part of the reason we lose."
Zeld lay down in front of me meting me at eye level his green eyes a sharp contrast against the snow.
'Rav you can't turn back now.'
"What do you want me to do Zeld? it'll take ten days to get there and that's in wolf form with wolf speed I'll only slow you down."
Zeld went quiet then he chuckled.
'Get on.'
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What?"
He got up turning so he was along side me.
'Get on.'
"No Zeld I can't make you carry me there."
'Why not your tiny compared to me no offence.'
I shook my head in shock.
"How can you even be considering this they will never follow me especially if I can't shift."
'You'd decided to leave before and you couldn't shift so what's the difference between then and now?'
I stood up my hands on my hips.
"Because now that I'm closer to them I realise how ridiculous I'm being in thinking they would ever follow an alpha who can't shift."
'Come on Rav we're already here what have you got to loose?'
I started to pace as I considered my options.
'You know he's right small one. No matter what we have to try for the sake of the pack.'
'See even Caryi agrees with me.'
I scowled at him if I could I'd scowl at Caryi too.
Throwing my hands up I grabbed my bags and transferred the food from Zelds bag to mine.
Turning back to Zeld I sighed.
"Fine I'll go but when they turn me away don't say I didn't warn you."
As I stepped up to Zeld's back he bent down so I could reach better.
I grabbed hold of his fur as I hoisted myself up.
He was right he was big enough to hold me but I still felt ridiculous.
'Hold on tight Rav We'll be there in no time.'
He bounded forward as I bent close to his back a fist full of his fur in each hand. Even though I was still angry at not being able to shift I had to admit rideing on Zeld's back brought a huge smile to my lips.
'Want to go faster?'
My smile widened my worries forgotten in the feel of us racing through the snow.
"Definitely."
I bent even closer to his back as his paws dug in further his speed increasing.
"This is amazing."
'It feels just as it would if we were shifted ourselves.'
I Smiled at Caryi's words as I watched the winter wonderland fly past us Zeld's speed impossible even for most of our kind.
"Thank you Zeld for not letting me give up."
He laughed.
'That's what I'm here for, pep talk extraordinaire at your Service.'
I rested my head on his neck.
"You know I'm not the only one who's changed."
'Well of corse I became more handsome.'
I chuckled.
"I'm serious Zeld your more confident too and always know what to say. I couldn't ask for a better beta."
He bounded forwards as we traveled further and further into Greenland.
We slept a few hours at a time wanting to get there as fast as we could. Our destination was a group of mountain ranges north east of upernavik. Tharon's maps said that the forest lakes pack uses the caves inside the mountain as their home.
I knew Zeld was getting tired carrying me but he never complained. I tried getting him to rest more but he refused. I think he was worried about me travelling such harsh conditions in human form plus the fact that while I had the ability to eat what ever he hunted as a wolf my own food supplies were getting low.
Even with rationing my food I ran out by the fifth day.
"You need rest Zeld."
He had started panting hours ago but refused to stop.
'I'm fine.'
"No your not now stop being so stubborn and let's see if we can find some caves in those mountains."
The wind had started to pick up the snow falling thicker.
"I think a storms coming Zeld even you can't run in a blizzard let alone with me on your back."
He sighed.
'Fine but only til the storms over.'
I agreed as he steered towards the mountains and sure enough there was a cave hidden within one of its peaks.
I started a fire near the mouth while I wasn't exactly cold it was comforting to watch the flames as they danced.
Zeld remained in wolf form just in case we uncounted bears or a normal wolf pack. The snow flew past the mouth of the cave steadily getting worse as the blizzard set in.
'Guess you were right.'
"You know I was right Zeld even you could feel the shift in the air."
Reluctantly he agreed.
'I hope it doesn't go for long.'
"Zeld stop worrying we've already shaved off two days by travelling as fast as we have but if you keep doing it your going to burn out especially carrying me."
'Your as light as a feather.'
"Is that why your still panting?"
He growled.
'I'm fine Rav.'
I ran my head through his fur as I leaned against his side.
"Just shut up for once and let me look after you."
He started to argue but I cut him off.
"Do I need to pull rank on you because I will if I have to Zeld. You need sleep."
He nudged my shoulder with his snout.
'You drive a hard bargain.'
"And your stubborn so what do you say, you do as your told and sleep."
He lay his head in my lap sighing.
'Fine but wake me when the storm stops.'
He closed his eyes and within seconds he was fast asleep.
'He's worried.'
'I know. so am I'
I stretched as I leaned against his side closing my own eyes.
'Your both as stubborn as each other.'
I laughed.
'Well we are forest lakes wolves.'
'Yes you are whether you can shift or not you will always be a forest lake wolf.'
I smiled at he slight reminder to believe in myself and for that I loved her. So I couldn't shift at least I had Caryi to help me through this I didn't think I would be able to do it without her.
'I love you too small one. Now sleep you both still have a long way to go.'
I was asleep seconds after her last words as I cuddled close to Zeld's huge form.