After the decision to take out Tharon Loki left the room to get some sleep since apparently he had been tracking the bounty hunter ever since we left Colorado.
Before Ki could leave the room I grabbed his arm. He turned back surprised.
"Raven?"
I looked down at the floor.
"I'm sorry about Braze I knew him well he was one of the few that didn't treat me like I was useless."
Ki put his hand to my neck his thumb caressing the mark he made a sad smile on his lips.
"Thank you."
Despite myself I leaned into his hand.
"What happened?"
Ki faces darkened as he sat down in the three seater lounge staring straight ahead. I held his hand in mine.
"It's alright you don't have to tell me."
"It's fine to be honest Braze's death might have something to do with the extinction of your pack."
My eyes widened in surprise but I didn't want to interrupt him as He sighed running his hand through his hair turning to face me.
"I never wanted to be alpha Braze was always better suited for it. He was able to make the hard decisions, too soft he would call me. I didn't mind though because everyone of the blue moon pack respected him even me. He attracted a loyalty that I could never live up too."
here he paused his eyes had a far away look as he recalled his past.
"It was two years ago not long after you were banished when Braze became distant. He would go on trips across the world and not tell anyone where he was going or what he was doing. Every time he came back he would be in a foul mood. It was as if he was searching for something and every time he failed to find it he would lock himself away for weeks till off he went again to another unknown location. Dad tried to find out where he kept disappearing to but he refused to tell him saying it wasn't safe for anyone else to know.
The pack was starting to get restless with their alpha gone. So one night they had a huge fight Braze promised that that he would only be gone one last time. If he failed to find what he was looking for he would return to the pack and be the alpha dad wanted him to be."
The pain in his eyes made me reach out to touch his face.
"He didn't come home did he?"
Ki shook his head.
"No he didn't we knew something was wrong when he didn't come home after a week."
"But how do you know Tharon killed him?"
"Because when Braze didn't come home I went after him. With the help of his mate we tracked his mark all the way to green land. We were too late Braze was dead in the middle of the wilderness."
I stared at him confused.
"But I don't understand that doesn't explain how you knew it was Tharon."
"I could smell it Braze was torn apart I could tell he put up a good fight since he had managed to bite a piece out of his attacker. Tharon's scent was all over him."
"But why didn't you tell the council?"
"Because it was our word against Tharon's plus there was nothing they could do even if they believed me. The council only has jurisdiction in America since it happened in green land there was nothing I could do."
I sat back in frustration Tharon had caused so much pain. He needed to be killed His need for power had destroyed so many lives. Turning back to Ki I remembered what he said earlier.
"What has braze's death got to do with my mothers pack?"
Ki turned to me.
"Don't you get it? Why would Tharon not just send a bounty hunter like he did with me? Why would he go after Braze by himself?"
Realisation hit me.
"Braze was looking for the forest lakes pack!"
Ki nodded.
"It's the only explanation why else would Tharon take it upon himself to kill Braze. Like Loki said he killed everyone who knew so he had to deal with it personally."
"Your right but what's so important about it? Surely whatever proof that was there has been destroyed and grown over by now?"
"I don't know but whatever it is Tharon didn't want Braze finding it."
"What happened to Brazes mate?"
Ki shook his head.
"she never got over Braze's death she became obsessed with getting back at Tharon one night she tried to kill him for killing her mate. For breaking the peace she was sentenced to death by the council."
Hearing his story showed me a whole different side to him. He always seemed so confident and sure of himself when the reality was he feared he'd never live up to the alpha his brother was.
Tharon has to be stopped now knowing what I did about Braze I couldn't put the blue moon pack through any more heart ache. I couldn't risk them loosing the only heir left to the pack.
I made the decision then that I would take down Tharon myself. I was technically still a lone wolf even with Ki's mark since we hadn't completed the bond we weren't officially mated. The only problem was getting away without anyone finding out, then of corse there was the mark itself Ki could track me where ever I went.
A thought entered my mind, Loki. He was a bounty hunter surely he would know of a way to block the effects of the mark plus he could get us out without the blue moon pack catching us.
Ki sat with his head in his hands his sorrow for his lost brother a dark cloud surrounding him. If I was to do this I knew it meant my death but at least Ki would be safe as would his pack. Finally I really understood why he marked me.
I knew it was a bad idea considering what I was about to do but I couldn't stop myself as I slowly climbed onto his lap. Surprise in his eyes he sat back as I stared down at him.
"Raven-"
I pressed my lips to his mouth to silence him, his hands grabbed at my back as he pulled me closer.
Pulling away I stared into his eyes as his hand went to my cheek I leaned into it. His eyes fell to the mark sadness shadowing them as he leaned forward kissing my neck he whispered.
"I'm sorry."
Pulling away i cupped his face in mine.
"I forgive you Ki I know you wouldn't have done it if there was another way."
He smiled but there was no joy in it.
"My only regret is that I would have loved to hear you say it."
Slowly I pulled my hair away from the unmarked side of my neck, Ki's eyes watched every movement. While I could not complete the bond I could give him one last gift.
"Kianti of the blue moon pack I give you permission to mark me as your mate."
His eyes delved into mine as his canines extended I knew he waited for me to finish by saying I would mark him it would only hurt him more when I inevitably was put to death.
His eyes glowed as he fought the urge to mark me finally he excepted that this was all I would give him he inched closer. His canines grazing my skin I waited for the pain but it didn't come. Gently he kissed my unscathed neck then pulled back staring into my eyes.
"I'll not mark you again Rave not until your ready to mark me too."
Gently he lifted me up placing me on my feet.
"Go to bed your room on the third floor has been repaired."
Turning he left the room as I stood there feeling horrible. What did I expect for him to be happy? I didn't deserve a mate like him all I had done so far was cause him more pain.
Dragging my feet I headed to my old room. How stupid can I be to think that marking me again with my permission would be enough. He had made it very clear from the start that he wanted all of me not just the small part I allowed myself to give.
Opening my door I looked up knowing Ki was in his room on the floor above mine alone. I wanted more then anything to run to him and give him everything he wanted. I wanted to mark him with all my heart I truly did but i couldn't.
I didn't want him to end up like Braze's mate I didn't want him to throw his life away. there were to many that depended on him. I was disposable my pack was gone my powers bound I was barely a wolf.
If something went wrong in trying to take out Tharon better I died then Ki.
I entered my room everything had been put back the same way it was before I lost control only now being alone in this room my loneliness weighed on my shoulders.
After a shower and clean clothes I climbed into bed the silence deafening. I had to hold back the urge to go to him. In stead I contemplated what I would say to Loki. I needed to convince him to help me. I knew I had no hope of succeeding without him, I also knew it would take some convincing especially considering the consequences if we got caught.
For hours I stayed awake thoughts of Ki kept invading my thoughts til I couldn't take it any more. I knew it was wrong and I knew it wasn't fair to Ki but it was as if my body moved of its own accord.
Standing before his door I argued with myself. My hand reached for the door but I didn't turn it. No I couldn't do this to him slowly I turned just as his door opened. Ashamed I stood there in loose short shorts and a tank top. I couldn't look in his eyes as I broke the silence.
"Sorry I couldn't sleep I didn't mean to wake you i shouldn't be here."
I started to turn away when he grabbed my hand pulling me into the room and closing the door. Without a word he lead me to the bed.
I stopped him.
"Ki-"
He cupped my face.
"Go to sleep Raven my door will always open for you don't ever doubt that."
Slowly I climbed into his bed just as he did the same. I thought to put distance between us but Ki pulled me to him as he wrapped his arms around me. His touch instantly relaxed me as my eyes closed feeling at home in his arms.
Just as I felt myself drifting off I felt Ki's hand caress my cheek as he whispered.
"Why are you so afraid to admit your feelings?"
I knew he didn't expect an answer thinking I was already asleep but his question repeated inside my head. Was I afraid? Truth was he was right I was petrified. What if one day he regretted mating with me. As it stood now he could still change his mind remove his mark and choose another. From the moment he revealed I was his mate I believed he was too good for me. Like I said he deserved better I couldn't let myself feel because I knew the moment I did I wouldn't be able to turn back.
The moment I allowed myself to love him I'd never be able to leave his side. He would be cursed with an unfit mate just as I'd been cursed with the inability to converse with my wolf. in that moment I hated my mother for binding my powers as guilt washed over me for how I felt and for what I was putting Ki through one tear escaped my eye before I could stop it.
Without a word Ki kissed the tear away, seconds later his chest rose and fell as we both fell asleep.