I woke the next day to find Ki already gone his room empty. Silently I made my way back to my own room guilt heavy on my heart.
"And Where have you been missy?"
I stepped down the last set of stairs to find Cal leaning against my door a wide grin on his face.
"Wouldn't you like to know."
He chuckled.
"Well I know it wasn't my bed I would've known if my snuggle buddy had visited."
I pushed him out of the way roughly as I entered my room.
"What do you want Cal?"
He entered my room after me.
"Cranky this morning was Ki not as comfortable a pillow as I am?"
I scowled at him.
"It's not funny Cal it was a mistake."
Turning serious Cal frowned.
"Why do you keep pushing him away?"
In the short time I'd known Cal there was one thing that stood out for all his jokes and playfulness he was loyal to Ki and cared greatly about him as his alpha and his friend.
I sighed as I continued to look for clothes.
"You wouldn't understand."
Cal's hand on my shoulder made me look up at him.
"Try me."
Part of me wanted to open up to him but I knew I couldn't. If I told him I believed I wasn't good enough for Ki I knew I would end up revealing my plan to kill Tharon.
"Cal it's complicated."
I started for the shower.
"Now unless your here for a reason go away."
I didn't even wait for an answer as I closed the bathroom door behind me.
"Ki's called for a pack meeting at noon."
I froze no it's too soon if he moves against Tharon before I can take him out he risks himself and the pack. As he walked away I heard the door to my room shut.
I had to talk to Loki before the meeting we had to stall the pack. I showered quickly as I went to look for Loki.
I found him outside he was helping train some of the younger pack members. I waited for him to finish, he was so good with them it made me wish he had raised me instead of Tharon.
As the pups disappeared Loki approached me smiling.
"Morning Rave what can I do for you."
"How do you know I want something?"
"Cause it's the same look your mother used to get when she wanted something."
I smiled it was good that he could talk openly about my mother now that I knew the truth. Then I felt guilty again about my feelings last night.
"What's wrong Rave?"
"Can we talk in private?"
Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise as he nodded indicating for me to follow him. we moved further away from the mansion.
Once an adequate distance away Loki put his hands on my shoulders.
"What's this all about kiddo?"
I sighed might as well just jump right in.
"I want you to help me kill Tharon."
Loki eyes widened in surprise.
"I don't understand I thought that's what the meeting was about."
I shook my head.
"No I mean just me I don't want the pack involved."
"Rave your talking about killing the man that raised you. I know that he didn't treat you like his daughter but for eighteen years you believed him to be your father. Not to mention if you fail or get caught you'll be killed."
I threw my hands up in frustration trying not to yell I whispered.
"I know all this don't you think I've thought it through? I can't let the pack get involved they've been through enough pain and suffering. Why risk the pack, I would rather risk myself a lone wolf with no power and no pack."
"And Ki?"
I looked away not being able to face the question in his eyes.
"He'll survive and with Tharon gone he'll be safe as will his pack."
Loki sighed as his hand rubbed his temple I couldn't tell what he was thinking as I waited patiently for him to talk.
"Do you even have a plan?"
I frowned.
"Well no but that's why I want you to train me."
"Train you to do what?"
"To be a bounty hunter."
"Rave it takes years to be a bounty hunter we don't have that kind of time. Ki's called a meeting today to discuss a plan."
"I know that's why we need to stall them."
Loki started to pace back and forth I continued to talk I had to convince him.
"Please Loki he murdered my entire pack you more then anyone should understand why I need to do this"
Loki stopped pacing as he turned back to me.
"Alright I'll help you but on one condition."
Not hesitating I answered.
"Anything."
He looked into my eyes a seriousness I'd never seen in him before.
"If we do this and I train you to be a bounty hunter you must swear that you will do everything I say no questions asked the second you refuse our deals off."
I nodded.
"I swear."
"Good first we deal with the pack let me handle them. When we go in there you are to remain silent leave everything to me. The longer we can stall them the more time I have to train you and considering I need to fit a hundred years of training into a few weeks we'll need all the time we can get."
Loki sighed as he faced the house a few pack members patrolled the grounds.
"I hope they realise what an amazing Luna they have."
Following his gaze I shook my head.
"I'm not their Luna."
"Not yet."
"Not ever."
I stared to walk back when Loki stopped me I waited but he seemed to change his mind as he said.
"Training starts early tomorrow morning."
I nodded then returned to the house mentally preparing for the pack meeting.
Since I had some time to kill I figured I'd go to Trigons office early and pick out some books to take to my room. I couldn't even remember the last time I read a book I couldn't wait to see what I could find.
Upon entering I found Ki sitting behind the desk feeling guilty about last night I started to turn around when he looked up.
"Raven it's a bit early the meetings not til noon."
I tried to sound normal but somehow completely failed.
"Oh I know I just figured since I had time I'd see if I could find some books to read.... if that's alright of corse."
He smiled his blue suit brought out the blue in his eyes making me blush.
"But that's alright I'll come back later."
"Raven wait it's fine I was just doing some paperwork despite everything that's going on I still have a business to run as tedious as paperwork may be."
He stood up as he neared i stepped back causing the door to close behind me. Ki reached past me my heart raced as I heard the click of the lock.
"Ki?"
He ignored my question as he stared down at me trapping me between him and the door. Leaning in he stepped closer his chest against my breast his hand slid the sleeve of my tank top aside as his lips caressed my neck. My breath came quick as I tried to push him away but there was no effort and he knew it as his other hand grabbed my wrist pinning it against the door behind me.
This time his name was a plea on my lips.
"Ki..."
He growled denying my plea as his eyes met mine they glowed bright as Falc shined through. Falc speaking through Ki.
"Caryi.."
Something within me stirred as within the reflection of Ki's blue glow I could see my own eyes glow bright green. My lips moved of their own accord.
"Falc..."
Surprise crossed Ki's face as he smiled.
Was that my wolf? How is this possible? Caryi? How did falc know the name of my wolf when I didn't even know?
It must be the the mating bond as my true mate Falc must have the power to reach my bound wolf. The only way that could happen is if the bond was getting stronger.
No! I had to stop this I couldn't let the bond grow. Using all the strength I had I pushed against Ki's chest. He stumbled back growling in frustration
"Why do you keep resisting?!"
He grabbed my hands.
"I know you feel the bond why can't you accept it?"
The hurt in his eyes tore at my heart.
"Even our wolves call to each other even though Caryi is bound she grew stronger when falc called to her. I know you can't hear your wolf but maybe our bond is the key to changing that."
I couldn't move as his hand caressed my face.
"Talk to me Rave what can I do to make you realise we were meant to be together?"
What could I do how could I answer his question knowing what Loki and I planned? I felt her I felt my wolf stronger then I've ever felt her before. Maybe our bond was the key to unlocking my powers but how could I put him through that? What if I died in a few weeks he would be devastated. I couldn't let him in. Fully bounded wolves took the deaths of their mates harder then anyone. I just couldn't risk it.
I had to create distance between us I started to speak to push him away for good but I stopped I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't get the words out I stood silent unable to reject him like I should but unable to give him what he so desperately wanted.
The look in his eyes almost broke my heart as I turned and left closing the door behind me as I heard his growl. Seconds later a crash sounded as I could only assume he overturned the couch near the door. Tears came to my eyes as I ran upstairs to the safety of my room.
I threw myself on the bed as I curled up the pain in Ki's eyes haunting my thoughts. In staying silent it only served to make things worse. Why couldn't I do it he would be better off if I just rejected him killing any hope he has of us but I didn't have the strength to let him go.
Half hour later Loki found me still curled up on my bed. Slowly he sat down and pulled me into his arms.
"Why Rave? I know you love him I can see it in the way you look at him."
I wiped my eyes as I stared up at him.
"You know why if we succeed in killing Tharon we will be sentenced to death And if we fail Tharon will kill us for trying. I don't want to hurt him any more then I already have."
Loki held me at arms length as he wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes.
"Ki will suffer if you die no matter what you do Rave all your doing is wasting the time you have left with him that could be spent being happy."
"If I complete the bond and allow Ki into my heart I won't be able to do what I need to. I know I won't have the strength to leave him and In doing so I risk his life as well as every member of this pack."
Loki sighed as he approached the door pausing his hand on the doorknob.
"It's not selfish to want to live Rave you deserve a chance to be happy no matter whats going on the forest lakes line does not have to end with you."
He left me feeling unsure of my decision? Could I be selfish and live the life I wanted with Ki even if it meant the cost of many lives?
An image of Ki lying dead because I chose to stay flashed before my eyes. No I was making the right choice Ki was a great alpha he cared about the pack not for their strength but for who they were. They needed him more then I did if he died because I stayed I'd never forgive myself.
I lay down my eyes looking around my room regretting that I still didn't get any books.
I waited til just before noon before I went back downstairs to attend the pack meeting.