Background music : ' Lose You To Love Me '
I admit that even though I blocked him i expected him to call me from other number.
Was i wrong to expect that ?
I guess I'm just too naive or stupid, ain't i..
I checked my call log , he has not called me after I blocked him that night.
Ok i accept it HURT!! it hurt like hell.
So I gave up in the end I messaged him yesterday from my new number...
Our Conversation:
Me : Hippo r u still sleeping?
( he never wakes up early in the morning )
After one hour...
Him : No
That's it.. such a curt reply from him.
If someone texts you from a new number you would ask them , who were they. But he didn't because only i call him by the name hippo.
I waited for him to text more, but no he didn't.
I didn't want to disturb him, so I didn't bother him anymore just in case he gets irritated by me.
Afterwards I was busy with my online
classes .
It was 12pm in night i stayed online... no text from him.
He sleeps late at night , like at 3 am.
So I stayed up until 3am even though I had to wake up at 6 am the next say.
I barely had two or three hours of sleep.
I was tired af today.. didn't eat much too.
Wasn't interested in the classes too.
Today also he didn't text me.
I have not blocked his number, in hope that maybe.... just maybe he would atleast wish me gd mrng or something.
But No he didn't.
Do you know how does it feel? Trust me it doesn't feel any good.
My heart kept defending for him saying... ' maybe he was angry on me , because I blocked him '
But my mind told me ' is he so angry that he can't spare a hi to me ? '
If I block someone i don't bother to unblock them ever. But why do I keep block... unblocking... block... unblocking him.
If he really wants to cut ties with me, can't he say that to me. I would stay away from him... far away.
I asked him last time if he knows how many times i have cried for him in the past three years. He said he was aware of it.... was he? was he really ?
A memory from the past :
I was in my 9th grade.
Our Biology sir decided for us to have a group discussion... more like seminars.
Our class strength was 32 , so it was decided that there would be eight groups each one having four members.
As the groups should have their leaders or captains so our sir decided to choose captains in this method- from roll no. 1 to 4 the one who wants to be captain could give their name .... and the order went on from 5 to 8... and so on.
My roll no. was 3 i was chosen as the captain ( i don't mean to brag but I was the class topper... so they chose me) and seven others were chosen.
Then sir said that from roll no. 1 to 4 will be one group with me as their captain... and as usual the order continued roll number wise.
But I wasn't satisfied with my team members all of them were too dumb( i know i was rude to think like that ) who couldn't even memorise a single line and couldn't utter a single word in front of the class.
So I opposed the idea saying some teams had members who were all good at studies and some who were all bad... it was unfair.
Hence, sir changed his decision and opted for writing names of all students except team leaders on slips.
The leaders will go and randomly pick three slips , whoever's name was written on it would be their team members.
At the time of recess slips were written.
When my turn came i went over to pick the slips... this time I was sure I wouldn't get members as bad as the previous ones.
.....
I picked up one slip opened it...!!! BOOM !!!
It was the same guy from the last time, he even rarely opened his mouth in the class and dare I say he would always be first from the last.
I consoled myself saying there were two more chances.
I picked up second slip opened it....
!!!! BOOM BAM !!!!
He was an irregular student he was absent most of the day, worse he was even absent the day I picked names.
Again i consoled myself there was still one more chance left , God won't be that unfair to me right?
I picked up third slip opened it.....
!!! NUCLEAR BOMB BLAST!!!!!! everyone who was present beside me while I opened the slips were shocked and my mind went blank!!!
That's it was my mind playing tricks on me.
This time I didn't know whether I should feel happy or sad... because this dude literally never came to school , he only came at the time of examination.
Anyway he won't be a burden if he won't come.
Then I went out of my class as it was break time, my mind was too shocked to respond to my classmates.
Mukher asked if I was fine ( if I'm not feeling well and somebody asks me if I'm fine then I start crying ) then huge water droplets started falling from my eyes.
Mukher tried to comfort me but the more he comforted me , the more overwhelmed did i become.
Next class was biology.
Sir entered the class and the first thing he asked was why was i crying... i wasn't crying at that time but one could see my swollen and watery eyes to guess what happened.
I said I was fine and lied that a dust particle went inside my eyes.
Ofcourse sir didn't believe my excuse instead he asked the others in the class if they could tell him what was the matter.
A boy of my class answered him.
Sir said he was disappointed in me.
I asked him if he could change my team members but he refused to do so.
He asked me to believe in my team mates.
He asked me to try, because in future she (means I ) would have to cope with different kinds of people having varying mindsets and opinions. So he asked me to learn something this time.
But as sorrowful i was , i was even more heartbroken after listening to his words.
That whole day i spent crying and being absent minded.
Then a friend of mine asked me to stop crying , he said Tim was crying for me.
I had never seen Tim crying before, when he said that I couldn't believe it but when Tim returned to class his eyes gave me the answer.
So he was indeed crying...
He was crying for me....!!!
Why????
This time My mind and my heart both said ' Maybe he loves you ' .
There was no need for him to pretend in this case...
So did he really mean it when he said he loves me!!!
But I pushed the thoughts back .
Tim came and consoled me saying that I didn't need to cry because some crap of a seminar would never change the value i had in his eyes.
Didn't know why but his words worked like magic , i stopped crying but still I remained sad the whole day.
Some came to console me while others who despised me were beyond happy.
I went to tuition , all the team leaders were assigning the topics to their team mates.
But I didn't only one of my teammates was present. I was busy reading the whole chapter as I couldn't trust him with any topic.
The next day Sir called out for teams to come and give a demo.
I went along with my one team member as other two were absent.
Then I started the seminar, from the beginning i was the only one who was explaining all the topics.
Sir stopped me and asked why wasn't the other member of the team speaking.
I replied that he didn't know anything.
Sir asked me whether I had discussed the topics with the other. I said I didn't.
Sir was upset he asked the member to speak something.
!!! Surprise !!!
He spoke... not much but still it was totally unexpected of him. Because I had never seen him speaking out loud.
Sir criticised me for being irresponsible. He said if I couldn't place my trust in my team mates.... then I didn't need to give the seminar.
I was feeling regretful too.
Then I suddenly remembered something.... the previous day i saw Tim teaching a few topics to my Team mate but I didn't care i never believed in my teammate.
Even if I would lose hope , Tim would never lose hope. He always had my back. Even if nobody cared for me, nobody believed me ... he would always believe me.
( He promised he would never leave me alone... but he did not keep his promise!!! you are such a terrible person.... why did you you leave me Tim?
Don't you care about me anymore?
Were those things you told me back then just sweet nothings.....? )
This time I didn't commit the same mistake i assigned few topics to my teammate which were easy to understand. And he remembered and practiced everything under Tim's supervision.
The next day was the main seminar.
I went to class and found out that another teammate of mine was present today so this time I chose to believe him and gave him some topics to remember.
In biology period both of them spoke about the few topics which I have allotted them . And I explained them very well.
Sir was very impressed and praised my team.
Then results were out ... i couldn't believe that my team had the highest score.
Sir praised me and my team mates.
It was the best day... i learned a lesson that you should never judge anyone and instead choose to believe them.
Tim was very happy for me.
Now when I think about all those moments i can't help but tear up.
Guys you should always choose to trust your teammates... don't commit the same mistake like me 😊..
This was also the moment when my Unending love for Tim began unknowingly.