I was eagerly waiting for the day to start. This day was going to be the most wonderful day in my life. I looked at the snap that I took without his knowledge.
He was wearing a sky blue tee-shirt, one hand on his hip. He was looking at his phone. There was a light smile on his lips. I looked at his photo for so long that I memorised every single feature. The more I looked at him the more my heart fluttered. There was a pain like my heart was being ripped out. My body shivered but I loved the feeling that I experienced because of him. I couldn't explain what I felt. May be this is how people feel when they fall in love with someone or when they see their loved one.
When I woke up at 6.30 in the morning I was happy because I had club. More than that was going to see him. The thought of spending time with him set my pulse racing. I see him every day and speak with him all the time but that never changed how I felt about him. I still blush when I think of him. My heart hoped that he would love me. I just want to hear those words from him. How would that make me feel? May be hearing his voice saying it would make me feel that I was in heaven.
I reached school and spent most of the time looking at the gift he gave me. It was precious to me. I liked the way I felt when I looked at our names carved on it.
I ran to the club when it was time. He was there in his usual place with talking with his friends. I smiled at the picture. No matter what happened he would never change and he would never fall for me.
I could feel some kind of tension in the air. Some kind of anger and hatefulness. I didn't know what it was about. It was Alex. It looked like he was arguing with someone. I looked closely to see with whom he was arguing. It was his friend Preethiv. They were talking with each other, not arguing. Had they both become friends again?? Nope, it did not look like that.
I wanted to know what was happening but I could not go. He did not like to talk to me when he was with his friend. He will pretend that he didn't know me. Even after becoming close to him some things about him remained strange.
The club was over. I wanted to talk with him but I know it was not the right time. I didn't know how he would react. He looked angry. So I decided to talk later after reaching home.
Then it struck me that I had to walk to my home that day as I had given my bike for service. My father had dropped me in the morning. I could call him to pick me up but I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to disturb him, so I chose to walk.
I just needed some fresh air. I was muddled since yesterday. I wanted to clear my head. Why did I feel strange? Was this because of hurt or happiness? What the hell was happening? I was panting. I wanted to relax, my heart was beating rapidly. I calmed the rhythm of my breathing and started to walk.
I looked around when walking. My heart relaxed. I couldn't say that the strange feeling was lost but I was feeling better. The place looked even more beautiful than I remembered.
I saw a small yellow flower at the side of the road. It was beautiful. The way it moved in the air made me feel like it was talking to me. The day was windy... It stirreds the smell of wet red sand. I inhaled the smell deeply. It made me calm. Even moving slowly was good. I was able to admire everything. I was able to see everything clearly. I was able to see every single detail. It was new but good.
A bike zipped by past me disturbing my thoughts. I enjoyed walking. I walked looking at the beautiful things around me. I heard footsteps, someone was running towards me. Oh! My god, it was Alex. As he neared me a strange feeling ignited within me.
"Hi Thesika" he said.
"What are you doing here? I thought you went with your friend," I asked, shocked not knowing why he came to walk with me.
"Noooooooooo..." he said dragging the word as much as he could.
"Really??" I asked him, doubtfully. I knew for sure that he was lying.
"Ok, I will tell the truth. My friend asked me to go shopping with him and I really hate that stuff. I saw you walking alone so I used it as an excuse and I came. If it does bother you, you can say it straight to my face. I will not take it as an insult," he said.
"NO" I said, saying it a little more loudly than necessary. Actually I shouted.
He laughed, looking at my expression.
"What happened to your scooter, Thesika?" he asked, with a smile in his face.
"I left it for service," I replied.
"How did you come in the morning?" he asked curiously.
"My father dropped me," I said, looking at the road.
"You might have called him." he said.
"I just want don't want to disturb him Alex" I said keeping my voice low.
"Hmmm… not bad," he commented.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Sure," he said, playing with a stone, kicking it with his feet and keeping his hands in pockets.
"Don't misunderstand me I am just curious. What happened in the club? You looked tense?" I asked him, looking into his face, hoping that he would reply.
"It's nothing" he said in a dull voice. . There was no charm and no life in it. I felt bad for bringing it up. Seeing him with a dull face made me uncomfortable.
"Ok." was the only word that I came up with.
We walked for five minutes in silence. I didn't don't know what to say. I didn't want to break the silence. Actually, I was afraid to break the silence. I was afraid of his response.
"Preethiv spoke with me" he said all of a sudden. It took me a minute to catch what he was saying.
"What?" I asked him confused.
"Preethiv, he apologised to me" he said.
"Th-th-that's great news," I replied, stammering. I was surprised but he did not look happy. He was upset. But why was he upset? That didn't make sense. He longed to talk with me as far as I knew but why was he refusing to talk now?
"No Thesika, it's not a great thing," he said. He kept his voice level. He almost cried because of this matter. But why was he saying it was the worst thing now?
"What are you saying, Alex? You wanted Preethiv to understand. You wanted him to talk to you as he always does. You almost cried because of the separation. But why do you back out now?" I asked him, confused.
"Do you think that I will accept the apology after what he did to me? Maybe, I would have talked to him if he spoke to me within two days. He made my life a living hell. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to be in the same class and act as if we are strangers? He was my best friend, Thesika. He must know me better than that. I believed him, Thesika but he proved that trusting him was wrong. Staff members who used to like him started to show partiality. They started to treat me as if I was the one who cheated him. I don't want to talk about it, Thesika. It's just frustrating," he said. And for sure he lost his control and so I didn't want to push the matter further. I was sure of one thing though, he had not suffered heartbreaks till now and I was sure that he had never got 'no' as an answer for anything.
"Ok, ok I...…. am sorry," I said.
"Don't be sorry, Thesika. It's not your fault." he said.
People tend to make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect. I am not saying that what he said was right. He too would have made a mistake and got a chance to rectify then but hating someone completely for committing a mistake was not a good thing. I thought he would become alright and start to talk with him but the anger in his voice showed me that neither would he forgive him nor would he forget it.
We almost reached home and just then it started to rain heavily.
"Come in." I said to him.
"No, Thesika." he said.
"Come, dry yourself and you can leave when the rain stops and anyway how will you go home? You don't have your scooter." I said.
"I just look like a beggar fully drenched. . . I don't want to come in today. May be some other time. Don't worry my home is just two streets away from here. I can manage and I will text once I reach home," he said and disappeared.