It was the weekend and time moved very slowly. It dragged on minute by minute... Alex said that he would come and tutor me, Physics was his favorite subject and I hated it the most. I hated it from the time I started to study because I hated the teacher who taught it. So I didn't learn it with passion but I managed to pass.
He said that he would come around four in the afternoon and it was only two and there were still two more hours to go. How was I going to spend it?
I just looked towards the entrance of my house every five minutes waiting for his arrival. I put on the dress in pink which was his favorite colour. I hated the color but anyway I started to like it because he liked it. I would have looked at the mirror for more than ten times to make sure I looked alright.
It was 4 O'clock. He didn't come home yet. He was always to be punctual. As the time passed my heart started to beat fast because he could be here at any moment. I never took my eyes off the entrance. I had strange feelings of excitement, because he was going to come to my house for the first time.
I could not take it anymore. I wanted to relax but I knew that counting to hundred or concentrating on my breathing was not going to help because I was far too gone and so I decided to watch TV. I switched on the TV and flipped the channels but nothing interested me. How could it interest me when I was waiting for the person whom I loved the most?
I heard the sound of his bike and ran to entrance of my house. There he was, looking more handsome than usual. He was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt which suited him perfectly. I felt that the word handsome was simply not enough to express his looks. To put it simply, he was breathtaking and if I looked at him a little more, I would faint for sure.
I hated the subject which was going to be taught by him but the thought of him teaching me, set me aglow in. Concentrating on the subject when he was so near me was going to be difficult. I could never do it but I was forced to act as if I was not disturbed by his presence or his proximity because a little mistake would ruin everything. I am not ready for it. How could a person who was so breathe taking like him, ever exist in the world?
He was here in my room holding my book, my pen, at my study table. Oh my god! This has to be a dream. I pinched myself to see whether it was real, whether he was really in my room. I want to shout. I want to say I was in love with him, but hell I couldn't say anything to him.
"Are you going to stand there all evening," he asked me.
Only then I realised that I was staring at him senselessly.
"Ha Ha…. No Alex, I am just making sure we had every material we need," I said to him, knowing it was not true.
He looked into my eyes. The way he looked into my eyes made me feel as though t he was looking straight to my soul. If he continued to look at me that way, then I would pour out every feeling that I had for him.
"Hope we have everything we need," I said and joined him.
His teaching was very good. How could he teach like this? His teaching was better than any teacher that I know of. I could remember each and every word that he taught. He asked me to write the derivation that he had taught so that I wouldn't forget it and I could refer to it later when I wanted to.
I took my notebook and start to write it. I could feel that he was staring at me.
"What are you looking at? Did I make mistake?" I asked him, confused because I was pretty sure that I hadn't made a mistake.
"No, just looking at the way you hold the pen when you write," he said.
"What is new in it? Everyone holds it in the way I do," I told him.
"No Thesika, not everyone. Haven't you notice. I rotate my pen each and every time when I finish a word," he said. I didn't know what to reply so I smiled and continued with my writing.
The class was over. He cleared all the doubts that I had. It was almost 5.30 when we finished the class.
"Hey I forgot to tell you something. You are giving solo a week," he said.
"No, No, Alex not this time. May be the next time," I said.
"No Thesika, this week, you postpone it every time I ask," he said.
"Please Alex, no." I begged him.
"Why is it so difficult for you?" he asked me.
"You know my fear for stage performances. I don't want to do it," I replied putting my head down.
"Oh come on, Thesika. It's not as hard as you think. If you don't perform even once, then how will you overcome your fear?"
"Facing the crowd makes me shiver," I said.
"If you are afraid of the crowd, then think of me when you sing you will do it better," he said.
"I will just blush," I muttered. I didn't want him to hear it but unfortunately he did.
"What? What did you say?" he asked me curiously.
"Nothing," I said blushing.
"But your face doesn't reveal anything. What did you say? I heard the word 'blush'," he said not taking his eyes off my face. . Blood rushed to my face. I blushed even more.
"I just said that I would blush if I thought of you," I said, blushing scarlet.
He stared at me. That's it, I am done. I should not have said it to him, I thought.
"I have to go, Thesika. It is already 7," he said and left.
Oh my god!!! I have ruined everything. I should not have said it. He was not going to talk to me ever again. I jumped into my bed and hugged the pillow to make the hurt less but it didn't work.
It was around 7.15. My phone rang. I picked up the phone and looked at the display. It was him. My heart beat faster. I had no idea what he was going to say. I was afraid to attend the call. Was he going to say that he would never talk with me again nor was he going to say that he didn't want to hear from me?
As I thought of the possibilities of all the things he could say, my heart started to beat fast. I was afraid to press the green button. My hands started to shake.
I pressed the green button and spoke softly as much as I could because I was ready for the scolding.
"Hello," I said. There was no reply from his side.
"Hello," I said again.
There was no reply. What are you going to say ALEX?? I asked myself. He was driving me crazy. As I thought of all the possibilities, I was scared. I was shaking with fear. My heart started to race...
"Hello Alex," I said, in a soft voice.
I was not sure he would reply. There was no reply. I removed the phone from my ear to see whether he was still on the line. .
"Hello," I said again and the phone went blank. He had cut the line.
Why did he cut the line? Was he angry with me or did he not hear my voice. I convinced myself that he didn't hear my voice. I called him again hoping that he would answer the call and prove me right.
He didn't answer the call. The fear returned. It haunted me. Whatever may be the reason for not attending the call, I decided to text him. Even if he did not reply, he would still know how I felt.
I chose the message icon and started to type. Before I could finish typing his name, he called me. I was perplexed. Anyway I was sure that he was not angry with me. It gave me hope.
"Hello Alex," I said in a rush.
I liked my voice when I said his name. I just wanted to scream that I was in love with him and I wanted him in my life, no matter what. I wanted to ease the pain in my chest.
"Thesika," he said his voice husky and musical to my ear.
It evoked some kind of strange feeling me. I have never heard anyone say my name with so much emotion. I cannot express the feeling. It was like all the nerves in my body came to life. His voice has always been attractive to me. It always draws my attention towards him but today it was different. I was able to hear some kind of strange emotion in it.
It made me uncomfortable. It was like bringing all my hidden emotions and suppressed feelings to light. I did not like it because it made me vulnerable but I also loved it because it set me on a high. . I gave him that right to play with my feelings.
"What is it, Alex?" I tried to ask in a normal voice and suppressing my emotions. I could not find my voice. I could feel a lump in my throat. Luckily he didn't notice anything.
"Thesika, I wanted to talk to you and I have no idea how to start? How will you come to school tomorrow?" he asked.
"By my two-wheeler, why do you ask Alex? Is there anything important?" I asked him, confused.
What does he want to say? Before I could ask him anything further, he hung up the phone. I called him again but he did not answer the call. What the hell was happening here? Why was he acting so strange? He was not the kind of person who would keep his phone on mute. .
He called me again after two minutes
"Hello Alex, what is it" I asked him, waiting for his reply.
"Hmmm….. Nothing, just wanted to hear your voice," he said. I was confused.
"Ok" was the only reply, I was able to give. I just wanted to nod my head but he could not see it.
"Thesika, could you walk with me tomorrow evening? I would like to speak with you and I don't have my bike," he said.
"What?" I asked him unable to believe the words uttered by him.
"Nothing. Just forget that I asked you," he said and hung up the phone.
I didn't know what to do. I texted him saying that I would accompany him tomorrow evening. He didn't give me a reply.
What was he going to say? What was he going to do? I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I could not predict his actions. .
I could not sleep the entire night. His words made me to keep my eyes wide open. His sweet words made me smile. It was a wonderful feeling. No matter how hard I tried everything was like a dream to me.