My name is Shay Dexter Kull, of course if you have half a brain you'd know that already, last time some crusty old bastard tried to kill me since I wouldn't do naughty things for him, luckily he employed the military equivalent to a toddler playing house, unluckily this meant I needed to quit my job, my kill count in the area was getting close to my age and this old Harrison Ford looking fucker knew where I worked, although his offer interested me, he definitely wasn't military, I'm pretty sure trying to kill a minor after offering him a job wouldn't go over well no matter your rank, so I gave him a call to get my hands dirty. it's been a full week and nothing, which means I need a new job.
McWonald's, the most popular food chain in the world and a significant employer for teenagers, Shay sits, faking joy at this trivial interrogation he must complete just to flip burgers, he sits opposed to a balding man in his fourties, wearing the iconic red Mickey Wee's uniform and reading from a fake resume made by Carl for Shay.
"So Mr. Smith, it says here you're from Texas, what brings you to Florida young man"
The Balding Man asks, suspicious of Shay's disposition, Shay is annoyed, he did not possess the foresight to proofread the resume made by Carl, Carl knew how much Shay hated Texans, and this small detail has forced him into becoming the thing he hates most in this world, even if it's only for a short period.
"Well my Ma and Pa mosied on over here about 3 weeks ago, Pa wanted to see if Florida was as crazy as the news says it is, he's been so busy wrestling crocs and fighting druggies I need to get a job to support Ma"
Shay improvises, nearly breaking character through each word as he resists the urge to shoot himself, his Texan accent is sloppy but if anything it helps sell he's Texan, but The Balding Man is not satisfied, he fancied himself a detective, he fancied wrong, but he still fancied.
"There's something wrong about this boy, there's no way he's this happy about an interview, and he remained joyful even when talking about sad things. I may have hired multiple arsonists in the past but my gut knows when something is up."
The Bald Man thinks, determined to be right whether or not he truly was. of course, he was right, the boy he was speaking to was the most lethal teenager to ever live. he continued with questioning, hoping to cause Shay to slip up and reveal his secrets.
"I hear Texas BBQ is fantastic, anything you Ma make that you particularly enjoy?"
Shay's rage began to bubble, somehow this was turning into the most difficult interrogation he had ever been through, the very thought of having to keep up this persona for any longer sickened him to his core, only maintaining composure through planning how he was getting back at Carl once this was over.
"Ah, well my Ma really shines at the grill, but her pies are definitely something you wanna save room for, I'd have to say her Chicken is my favorite, raised 'em ourselves before we moved"
Shay lies, the desire to win this encounter making the pain he feels from acting Texan bearable, he had a mission, and he would succeed. The Balding Man would not give up so easily either, it was clear Shay was a good liar, but there were other ways to reveal test him.
"it says here you used to work for Texas Fried Chicken, how was it working for them?"
The Balding Man probed, Shay smirked, this was too easy, he didn't even need to lie for this one, Shay had bounced around so much he'd worked at everywhere that'd hire a teenager, Shay loosened up as he replied.
"It was decent, got good money and my boss was nice, sad I had to leave 'cause of the move"
"Actually, it says you don't have any prior work experience, why would you lie about something like that?"
The Balding Man had succeeded, Shay had fallen for such a simple trap, Shay had never thought for a second this jaded old man would attempt to trick him, his cover was blown, but that didn't mean he couldn't still win this, Shay formulated his thoughts and spoke again.
"is that my younger brother's resume? we both applied here, I wouldn't blame you for mixing 'em up, our names are similar after all"
The Balding Man was caught off guard, he had already decided he had won, and this challenge to that angered him, he replied trying to hide his anger, but Shay knew he had won.
"are you not John Smith?"
"I'm Jason Smith, if you want to confirm this you can call our reference, Carl Torn, he's our step-uncle"
Shay spoke confidently, he had turned the tables on this man as easily as stepping to avoid a dog turd, although The Balding Man was a sore loser, he was never wrong, and this child had told him he was wrong, Shay looked out the window as the Man stewed while dialing Carl. Shay saw a familiar sight, another soldier on a nearby rooftop, it took Shay until The Balding Man had been sent to voicemail to realize why this soldier made his gut sink. with no one else to direct his anger towards The Balding Man slammed his hands on the table and began to scream at Shay.
"YOU LYING PIECE OF SHI-"
"duck"
Shay interrupted softly, The Balding Man taken aback by the interjection, that moment of hesitation deciding his fate as Shay slid under the heavy-duty diner table and a grenade struck the adjacent window, exploding on impact and killing The Balding Man, Flash boiling him like the fries he served, the employees and customers alike who survived either running or standing in shock. Shay was excited the last attack on his life was disappointing, to say the least, the enemies were lackluster and he didn't even get to fight them alone. but now he was pinned with no chance of backup and fighting someone with enough firepower to make this interesting.
"They're a Demolitions expert, with the window open one more grenade will kill me, chances are I don't need to worry about any close-range combatants, that'd prevent them from firing grenades at me, with these many civilian casualties out in the open they definitely aren't military, at least not US military. I need to exit the building before another grenade blows me to hell but after they've fired the grenade, they appear to be impacts which doesn't bode well if I don't time this right, the grenade launcher was a revolver-type, meaning if they wanted to they could already have a grenade in here, so they are definitely after me, they must be trying to get me in their sights to guarantee I die, meaning if I feint them I should be able to control when they fire the next grenade, I'll have a third of a second before they can fire again, meaning I need a way to deal with the grenades, if I was dealing with thrown grenades I could just shoot them but these will be going too fast to rely on the speed of my pistol, and my ammo is limited."
Shay thinks out loud, needing a solution quickly, but suddenly a grenade flies through the window, spewing tear gas as it rolls towards Shay, Shay is caught off guard, this soldier was definitely different from any of the previous Shay had dealt with, this prevented him from making a plan for the first time fighting these wannabe assassins, but Improvising is Shay's favorite part of a battle.
The Soldier lays on the opposed building to Mickey Wee's, they are covered head to toe with tactical gear, armed with their grenade launcher and a myriad of grenades, both thrown and fired, they tap an earpiece and speak in a damaged but clearly feminine voice.
"This is Codename: Forearm, The target is being stubborn, I've fired Tear Gas into the building but they still haven't revealed themself, are you sure this guy is anything to write home about? he might have died already from the first grenade"
A beep surprises Forearm as they finish speaking, in response they fire a grenade into the building as a shirt flies up from within the tear gas, just as the grenade disappears into the gas Shay rushes out the front door, shirtless, avoiding the explosion by fractions of seconds. Shay pulls his pistol and fires at Forearm, firing 3 times and missing all shots but causing the surprised Forearm to duck to avoid getting hit, his heart skipping a beat with every miss as if anticipating pain.
Shay's face contorted into a massive sadistic smile, it had been a while since he wasn't sure whether or not he'd win, for the first time in years he wasn't sure what to do next, and it was exhilarating. He rushed towards the abandoned building Forearm was stationed on, stopping just before his foot hit the road he'd have to cross. Bumps, roughly 30 bumps the size of a small pizza protruded ever so slightly from the tar, the pavement was clearly new, and the area rarely saw cars, these were mines, a moat of explosive power that'd keep Shay from pursuing his attacker.
Shay had only moments to come up with a game plan, getting to Forearm would be risky, but staying back and trying to shoot Forearm would be suicide, his pistol was low-caliber and he only had one 12 bullet clip, 9 shots at this distance had a meager chance of success, he'd have to retreat back to the former fast-food establishment he had sacrificed his shirt to escape, he may have built up a resistance to tear gas in the past, but he'd only have a matter of second before the gas would take effect if he went back in.
Before Shay could make a decision Forearm had gone back on the offensive, Thunk, Thunk, Thunk. grenades rained from the sky, none of them falling close enough to harm Shay, but Shay was forced to retreat as the Thunking continued, Shay jumped through the destroyed window, covering his mouth with his hand as he did, entering the sea of tear gas that had settled within the building, countless grenades rained from the sky, bombarding the roof, Shay did not have much time before this shelter would become his tomb. He had to get an intact corpse, if he could get that he'd have a fighting chance, he dove into the sea of tear gas, closing his eyes and feeling around, he couldn't hold his breath for long but he didn't have much time as is, his mind starts to blur as his lungs scream for air and the risk of the roof collapsing becomes more and more real, Shay thinks to himself as his consciousness begins to fade.
"How many grenades does this bastard have?"
Forearm sits with their head down and their back to the concrete guard rail that made this building the perfect perch, their grenade launcher pointing to the sky, the entire cylinder emptying every 2 seconds, Forearm takes only 3 seconds to reload from a plastic bin overflowing with grenades, never moving their head, as they unload their cylinder once more they pause before going to reload again, thinking to themself.
"so you went back, you must be hungry."
A corpse is of an employee is thrown through the broken window, shrapnel piercing their head and chest, their shirt removed, making a loud thump as it hits the concrete walkway, 6 grenades pelt this corpse, obliterating it where it lands. Shay moves slowly out the back, his eyes as bloodshot as could be, holding back coughs as he convulses, the grenades have stopped for now, but they would surely start up again in a matter of seconds, he had everything he needed, now all that was left was pulling off this crazy stunt.
Forearm lifted their head, they knew someone was just reduced to nothing but was it Shay? it's possible they tripped out the window, but Shay seemed too agile for that to happen, no, that was a diversion, soon enough Shay would make a sound, and it would be their death sentence.
Shay slowly moved to the front of the building, making no sound as he did, holding back every reaction his body demanded from stewing in that tear gas for so long, the shirt of the employee covering his face to silence the attempted coughing, Shay stops and stands tall as he stands on a small patch of dead grass in between the sidewalk and the Mickey Wee's, he pulls his pistol and points it to the sky, firing a single road and letting it fall to the ground.
Thunk, Thunk, Thunk, 3 shots fired by Forearm, the sound of running reverberates as the only sounds on this desolate street, Shay was following the exact route Forearm had predicted. Boom. Boom...
"What?"
BOOM. Forearm is sent flying across the roof as their grenade strikes the concrete cover that barely shielded them from this attack, their bin filled with the grenades they had used to dominate the area detonating, Shay had used the shirt he retrieved to redirect the last of the three falling grenades, sending it right back at Forearm. Forearm's armor barely saved them from this counter-attack, it falls to the ground broken as they stand, revealing horrible burns throughout their arms, these were not from this attack, these were battle scars from long ago. they wear a tank top and old leather pants under their armor, and as they remove their destroyed helmet they reveal a pair of grey, lifeless eyes, with intense burn scars circling their eyes.
Shay could barely stand, he began coughing his lungs out as he let his guard down, believing himself to be victorious, his body shook, the pain from the tear gas taking full effect as he let out a bloodcurdling scream. Thunk, Shay panicked, he had failed, a single poor judgment had put him back to a massive disadvantage, he ran, all he could think to do is run like an animal pursued, his mind had shifted from winning to surviving, he avoiding the grenade and ran straight across the street, now registering it as danger until it was too late.
But no explosion came, the bumps in the road were simply a bluff, put there to dissuade Shay from closing the distance. Shay rushed into the abandoned building Forearm was perched on, a small apartment building forgot to time, the receptionist's desk collapsing, every surface covered in dust. thinking of nothing else but acquiring cover Shay stumbles into a corner and sits on the floor, the pain from the tear gas was intense but it was fading, or rather he was becoming used to it, his mind began to defog as his heart slowed.
Loud steps resounded through the building, the speed made it sound like many soldiers rushing down to attack when it truth it was just Forearm, descending the stairs armed with nothing but their grenade launcher, Shay calmed himself, his wits were coming back, he made it this far, he wasn't dying now.
Shay stood, he didn't have any weapons, the pain was keeping his brain from operating at full capacity, but he was finally standing on even ground with his enemy, he took a deep breath, steadied his stance, put up his dukes, looked to the stairs, and let out a battle cry.
"YOU WANT ME?! COME AND GET ME!"
Shay knew in an area this small there was zero chance that his opponent would be using explosive rounds, meaning they'd be either using non-lethal rounds or tear gas, both of which he could deal with as long as he knew where they were coming from, so the best strategy would be to simply wait after revealing his location.
Forearm arrived on the final floor, kicking open the door to the stairwell, aiming around as they entered, seemingly not noticing Shay in the corner, even aiming past him, Shay was puzzled, but then he saw their eyes.
"She's blind, that's how she was always aware of where I was, interesting, a double-edged sword, I can see her and she can't see me, but if I move she'll know where I am, this just got more interesting."
Shay thought to himself, concocting his plan to end this, for the first time in this encounter Forearm was just as vulnerable as Shay, the building had clearly been stripped of anything Shay might be able to use against Forearm, meaning there was only one way to end this, turning this long-range battle into a battle of fists, Shay waited as Forearm explored the room, searching for him, Forearm grew closer and closer, Shay needed at least 10ft between them to guarantee a clean hit, 15ft, 14ft, 13.
Forearm stopped, this was taking too long, it would reveal their location but little did they know their location was never a secret, they released their launcher, pulling its strap to fasten the launcher to their back, and rose their hands, attempting to clap with all their might, this was Shay's opportunity.
he rushed and punched Forearm with all his might, Forearm was enraged, the bastard was hiding in plain sight this entire time, the 2 backpedal, cautious of the next attack, they were both on the brink of defeat, this battle would be decided in the next few hits, they stand opposed, their stalemate showing respect between soldiers, Forearm broke the silence, they're voice damaged further from the explosions.
"Uh, so this is why the Commander warned me you were not one to be underestimated, not the first time I've had a grenade thrown back, but redirecting an impact is a feat I've yet to witness, no hard feelings when I beat you, it'd be a shame for such talent to be wasted because of a petty grudge."
"Just don't go crying to that old shit when I fuck your face up even more than it already is, it's nothing personal, I just really want to kill you."
Shay retorted, his arrogance getting the better of him, Forearm had goaded him into revealing his location, they quickly lifted their grenade launcher, firing a round hitting Shay cleanly on the shoulder, Shay was right, Forearm had switched to non-lethal rounds, stored in the building in case Shay wasn't tricked by the bumps in the road, the pain was immense as the round sent Shay spiraling to the floor, Shay didn't even have time to react as another round hit him squarely on the back of the head, knocking him unconscious as blood began spewing from his nose.
Carl was making his way to Mickey Wee's, he had anticipated a clean up after forcing Shay into acting Texan in an interview, so the no call was suspicious, as Carl arrived on the scene the first thing he noticed was the destroyed and collapsed building where McWonald's once stood.
"How in the fuck did Shay destroy an entire building? I thought he only brought a pistol."
Carl looks around to assess the damages, noticing the many craters and the remnants of Shay's decoy corpse, Carl's confusion quickly turned to panic as he realized, Shay didn't do any of this, there was another attack, and the silence confirmed he was too late.
Frantically Carl searched the area, spotting a black prisoner transport van at the end of the road, he rushed towards it, screaming out in hopes of answers.
"SHAY! DID YOU BASTARDS KILL SHAY?!"
As Carl quickly approached he was able to make out 2 figures, Forearm who had acquired a new set of armor, and a footsoldier, Forearm carried Shay over their shoulder, climbing into the back as Carl yells out, Carl grabs a throwing knife from a hidden compartment on his chest and throws it, Forearm barely blocks it with their arm from hitting them square in the head, rushing to get into the van while ordering the soldier to drive, in a matter of seconds they are gone, driving off at full speed, Carl attempts to take out one of their tires but misses, lodging the knife in the bumper.
Shay awakens, disoriented in the back of the van, Forearm sitting opposed to him, all their features hidden once more by their armor, Shay groggily sits up finding his hands and feet are bound by cuffs, Forearm stares at Shay, unreadable with their helmet concealing every inch of their face.
"your friend is quite annoying."
Forearm states, cutting off Shay before he can speak, Forearm holds up the knife lodged in their arm by carl, blood still on the point, Shay feels immense anxiety as the possibilities of this gesture flood his brain, Forearm continues.
"The Bastard had the balls to try and save you, he of course failed, and now I have his knife, I'll probably use it pick my teeth, it's quite sharp so it'll really get in ther-"
"Did you kill him."
Shay interrupts, looking to his lap, dreading the answer that might come, Carl was the only thing Shay still had in his life, he couldn't go on without him, his oldest and last friend, and the only reason he ever tried to make a home, Forearm feels sympathy, answering honestly.
"No, I wanted to but he wasn't a target and we had to get out of there before the police showed up, the guy almost killed me with a single knife, and almost took out one of our tires."
Shay's arrogance immediately returns as he hears Carl is alive, sitting back and crossing his legs, tilting his head back to look down on Forearm, letting out a cocky laugh before speaking.
"You just made the biggest mistake of your life, me and Carl are inseparable, many people have tried, and by not stopping him there, you just guaranteed your name will be added to our list of kills. Carl may not be as smart as I am, but he's far more lethal, your little stunt with the building wouldn't have lasted more than 6 seconds with him, you saw his accuracy, the guy never misses with his knives, and if you think he did"
A small red LED on the pommel of the throwing knife begins blinking.
"You just didn't understand his intent."
Forearm is agitated by this, what does it take to humble this guy? he must just be trying to scare them, there wasn't a chance this kid could be even crazier then Shay.
"And what makes you so sure of that fact?"
Forearm asks, they had to be sure, Shay almost beat them with nothing but a pistol and a shirt, if this "Carl" was deadlier they would make a great asset, Shay replies with complete certainty in his voice.
"Because I'm not the serial killer Skull."
The van stops, Forearm stands and opens the doors, revealing they are inside some kind of bunker filled with vehicles and soldiers, Forearm order Shay.
"Get up, we're here."
"So you're not killing me?"
"Nope, that was your interview, you passed, Welcome to Project Anatomy."
Carl sits on the sidewalk after being interviewed by the police, Ambulances, Fire Trucks and many officers are all present, locking down the area and investigating. Carl looks to his phone, opening a map with a moving red dot, at the top, it reads "Find Your Asshole", Carl smirks.
"I guess I'm not making it to the session tonight"