Before the New Year, Da Fei got in trouble and was fired by the boss. All toil, no reward, huh! What about the year-end bonus, huh? Da Fei was furious!
Forget it, even though there's high-paying recruiting due to labor shortage around the New Year, beggars also have their three days of New Year. Let's leave finding a job for next year.
Being depressed from unemployment, Da Fei didn't want to go out and meet people, so he decided to play games. He heard that a badass game called "Empire" was released at the end of the year, to kill some time and vent some anger.
Logging into the game, cutscenes playing out—blah blah about Alesia Kingdom, Enkidu Kingdom, Iron Fist Empire, Immortal Emperor—annoying, annoying, annoying, I came here to chop people up!
Choosing a profession, Warrior, name: Kill Bastards!
—System Prompt: Sorry, please use civilized language.
Kill Bastards!
Newbie Village.
Holding a newbie short sword with 1-2 Attack, Da Fei couldn't wait and immediately rushed out of the village to chop at rabbits. Few rabbits, lots of people.
Da Fei grew impatient and chopped at any rabbit he saw.
—"Hey, why the fuck are you stealing my kills?"
Do I look like thin air to you? Da Fei continued to chop whenever he saw a rabbit, drawing a torrent of curses.
—"Fuck, if it wasn't for the fact that you can't PK before level 10, I'd kill you!"
Damn it, if it wasn't for the level 10 restriction, I'd be chopping you down right now!
—"You, you, you—how can you be like this, with no class whatsoever!"
—"This trash, even stealing the monsters from the ladies!"
Are you unhappy? Wahaha, the more you're unhappy, the happier I am!
—Public Channel: Kill Bastards is trash stealing kills!
—Public Channel: From now on, kill 'Kill Bastards' on sight so he'll never leave Newbie Village in his lifetime.
Wahaha, if there's too much time later on, I'll just infuriate you blokes to death!
Then suddenly, the crowd goes wild: "The level 3 rabbit boss spawned!"
Da Fei looked over, and a humongous rabbit had popped up not far away! Great, the bigger they are, the better the chops, I'll chop! At that moment, hundreds of players, ranged and melee, simultaneously moved in to attack the BOSS.
Da Fei slashed on the left, -6! Nice, right-hand slash, -7! So satisfying, turns out bosses with high HP feel great!
Although the boss had hundreds of HP, it didn't last 3 seconds under the attack of hundreds of players!
Nonsense, I didn't even get to a third slash, how is this different from regular rabbits!
—"The BOSS dropped something!!!"
What did it drop? A dagger? I'll snatch it! I'll snatch it! Snatch, snatch, snatch!!! Damn it, someone else got it!
—System Prompt: You have obtained the accessory "Four-leaf Clover"
Yay! Lots of players, few rabbits, and I actually snatched something? With this luck, why not buy a lottery ticket! Accessory? What is it?
—Four-leaf Clover: Can only be obtained by the luckiest of people in this world, enhances the player's critical hit chance by 4%, and 4% chance to be immune to any negative status effects.
It looks quite good, is this really something a level 3 BOSS dropped?
At this moment, a player excitedly exclaimed: "I got the Rabbit King's Dagger with 3-6 Attack and 1% critical rate, haha!"
The players around envied, jealous, and hated: "Damn, how can someone be so lucky?"
Pfft! Happy for what? Watch me disgust you all! Da Fei posted the stats of the Four-leaf Clover in the public channel and followed it with two words: "Haha!"
The public channel exploded!
—"Fuck!!!"
—"God damn it, is there no justice?! Such a top-tier item got snatched by trash!"
—"God damn trash, fuck your mother!"
Wahaha, so unjust! It's oh so unjust! Why is it that at work, I never catch a break, but when it comes to being rubbish in games I'm first in line, huh! Wahaha, I'm gonna infuriate you till you die of anger! Superb! Ahahaha!
Da Fei kept posting the Four-leaf Clover's stats in the public channel, while his hands kept busy stealing more rabbit kills.
For a time, the whole public channel cursed for an entire afternoon. That afternoon, Da Fei stole kills until he reached level 3. For every level, you get 10 attribute points, and any Earthling knows that for a Warrior, all should go to Strength. Meanwhile, his role-model behavior led many new players to follow suit, and stealing kills became the norm.
It seems like it gives a sense of achievement, huh? Haha.
Level 3 now, rabbits don't give experience anymore. Off to kill the giant caterpillars in the forest, step by step.
Eh? What's with these jerks following me? Well, follow if you want. Da Fei lunged at a giant caterpillar. Those few people immediately stepped up to chop.
Oh, I see, they're retaliating by stealing my kills, how childish! I don't give a damn about this broken game, and even if I delete the character, it's no big deal, do you really think you can upset me? Go on, whatever!
At that moment, Da Fei saw a beautiful Mage killing bugs up ahead. A beauty? That's what Da Fei hated most! You women, always just eating, drinking, playing around, and demanding this and that, do you even know anything else? Do you know how hard it is for men to work outside? You know shit, only playing games, I won't let you play!
Da Fei charged forward and delivered a slash, critical hit! One-shot! Hahaha! Such is the Four-leaf Clover's power!
This Mage, named Ye Qinghan, glanced at Da Fei's name and frowned. Da Fei was now a celebrity, it was impossible not to know him!
If you can't fight them, avoid them, the beauty moved deeper into the forest. Da Fei laughed and followed into the depths.
Once again, she was killing bugs, and Da Fei said to the people around: "Go!"
Those players cursed: "Go fuck your mother!"
Da Fei scoffed and went in for the kill himself.
Those players hurried to explain to the beauty: "Mistress, we're not in cahoots with this trash, we're just getting back at him by stealing his kills..."
"Mistress, let's team up, that way this trash won't have a chance!"
The beauty helplessly nodded: "Okay."
To that, the players flipped off Da Fei, who returned the gesture with his fingers to the sky! Another round of haymakers! Keep cursing, yeah, keep cursing!
Right there, with them watching, Da Fei slashed at a caterpillar. Aren't you going to steal it? Not stealing? Another slash, and this time the caterpillar bit back, taking away a quarter of Da Fei's HP, high Attack on those bugs, huh? Another slash, and the level 3 caterpillar was down. While the joy of adding all points to Attack for a Warrior is great when killing monsters, getting hit without armor really hurts. Seems like I don't have much potion to eat or drink, huh?
Players burst into laughter: "Pft, you just keep slashing!"
Da Fei snorted, "I'm not grinding mobs anymore, I'm playing with people now. I've got my sights set on you guys, gonna annoy the hell out of you."
So, as the group went about their business killing monsters, Da Fei crouched among the crowd. The players thought he had no more moves and felt a secret surge of delight. Then they started hitting on the girls whenever they had a chance.
A rogue named Chaotic Dance asked, "Babe, wanna be friends?"
Ye Qinghan couldn't help but be taken aback.
Da Fei retorted, "Do you even deserve?"
The crowd shot Da Fei a sideways glance.
Ye Qinghan didn't really want to, but provoked by Da Fei, she nodded, "Alright."
The group rejoiced, "I'm Eternal Silence, add me, beauty!" "I'm Jian Shangxian" "I'm Dream Wind" "I'm May Fly."
"I'm Kill Bastards!"
"F*cking trash, buzz off!"
Chaotic Dance said, "Beauty, we've got a full team here. Let's go inside and kill level 5 wolves."
Da Fei replied, "Good!"
"F*cking trash, buzz off!"
Ye Qinghan nodded, "Good!"
The band headed deeper into the game, and Da Fei got up to follow.
Chaotic Dance cursed, "Have you no shame!"
Eternal Silence said, "Forget it, no point talking to trash."
In the wolf territory, the archers lured monsters, the warriors tanked them, rogues and mages killed them, and healers gave support, all in good fun. The only disturbance was the presence of Da Fei squatting beside Ye Qinghan.
Da Fei struck up a conversation, "Are you even 18 yet?"
Ye Qinghan frowned and ignored him.
Da Fei preached, "Playing games at your age, is that appropriate?"
Chaotic Dance cursed, "Deadbeat trash, aren't you playing games too?"
Dream Wind added, "None of your damn business what others do!"
Da Fei warned, "Getting addicted to games is bad for your health."
Eternal Silence cursed, "You should just die in front of your computer!"
Da Fei joked, "Nine out of ten people have hemorrhoids!"
Chaotic Dance swore, "The beauty doesn't have hemorrhoids!"
Da Fei commented, "Only bottoms are free of hemorrhoids."
Ye Qinghan turned bright red with anger and shouted, "Ignore him!"
"Hmph," the crowd continued to kill wolves, while Da Fei went on talking nonsense. The players gritted their teeth and solemnly vowed to kill this trash every time they saw him in the game!
Eventually, a huge wolf appeared, a level 8 Wolf King! Their hearts raced, but seeing its overwhelming level, they hesitated.
Da Fei taunted, "Can't beat it."
The crowd snapped, "None of your business!"
Da Fei said, "I'll help out."
Eternal Silence sneered, "As a level 3, your damage can't surpass our entire party, and you won't be getting any loot first."
Da Fei maintained, "But you can't beat it."
The crowd swore, "F*ck off!"
The fight began, with the warrior pulling aggro, the healer keeping up with healing, the DPS going hard, trash getting killed, loot being grabbed. Half of the BOSS's health went down in no time. Da Fei ceased fighting, reluctant to labor in vain.
The group laughed, "What happened to 'I'll help out'?"
"Taking a break."
"Deadbeat trash!"
Then the BOSS roared long and loud, its body swelled red, and it entered a Bloodthirsty Frenzy! Instantly its attack and attack speed surged, and Warrior May Fly's health bar fluctuated like a roller coaster.
Da Fei applauded from the side, "Come on! You got this!"
Clearly, the group knew who the deadbeat was cheering for, and the healer Dream Wind quickened the pace of healing. The DPS were all out in their assault. Still, the obvious level gap became apparent, and Dream Wind struggled to fill the warrior's health bar, running out of mana with a wipe imminent.
Da Fei declared, "Had enough rest, I'll help out now!" and stood up to slash fiercely.
Awoo! Warrior May Fly went down!
The group cursed, "Deadbeat trash! Even if we can't win, it won't be your turn!"
Ye Qinghan clenched her teeth, "Just give up, don't let trash pick up scraps!" Everyone stopped attacking, letting the Wolf King slaughter them.
Da Fei taunted, "What's the point of playing games if you're not going to enjoy them?" Given the current situation, a level 3 Da Fei had no chance of getting the last hit. He didn't care, just wanted to mess with them for fun.
The whole group wiped. Just then, the Wolf King BOSS suddenly shrunk, its color returned to greyish-black, and its expression became extremely weak. The short-lived Bloodthirsty Frenzy was over, and now it was suffering from the debuff of weakness. Its attack power and attack speed dropped dramatically.
Da Fei, caught between laughter and tears, rapidly slashed and sent it to its end.
——System Prompt: You have obtained Wolf Fang Club.
——System Prompt: You have obtained Wolf Skin Armor.
Wolf Fang Club: Attack 20-25, Strength +10 points.
Wolf Skin Armor: Defense 100, Constitution +10 points.
Well, that's just outrageous. Nothing more to say; I'll keep posting these crazy item stats in the public channel, haha.