Sitting comfortably on the sofa in her living room, Mo Xiaye couldn't help but let a smile fully blossom on her face. She felt a great deal of accomplishment over freeing herself from the shackles that had held her bound for so long.
It was a good feeling to finally feel free after keeping it all in. She just had to cross a final step and everything will completely fall into place and she would admit that she couldn't wait but she knew that patience is the key at this point in time. She couldn't rush through things now that she had gotten this far.
Putting her thoughts aside, Mo Xiaye picked up her phone and scrolled through her phonebook. She wanted to call Zhou Ting but immediately stopped herself.
She remembered that he was probably still in a meeting.
She knew this because she had spoken to him the previous day and knew that he would be busy the entire day.
Changing her mind,she dialled her mother's number. It was probably better to get the discussion regarding her mother's divorce with her so called father over and done with.She couldn't tell and maybe she really didn't know when her dislike and hatred for the man who gave her life started but she knew,that she had nothing good to say to him or about him.
It might have been when he brought in the heavily pregnant daughter of the Gu family into the house without regards for anyone or when he wanted her to abort her baby or be disowned and completely wiped off the Mo family register but she didn't have an ounce of positive feelings towards him anymore.
Lost in her thoughts,she didn't hear the sound of the phone being picked up on the other end. She only reacted after her mother had called her a couple of times.
Shaking her head a bit to clear it,she finally responded to her mother. She knew that speaking to her mother in her current state,the latter might detect her wandering emotions and worry so she gave a random excuse of wanting to just hear her voice and then promised to call her some other time before hanging up.
She couldn't tell what she was feeling.
But all she knew was that her initial joy had been wiped off her face.
She would have never believed it if she was told or simply imagine it that she would come to despise the one man whose approval and praise she had always craved for as long as she could remember so much.
It was so deep that it was bothering on hate.
She didn't know what to do about it.
She did know that the more she loathed,despised or hated him; she couldn't tell which she felt for him, the more heavy her heart and mind feels because hatred or whatever emotion felt,worked both ways.
It always does.
The more of a particular emotion you feel towards someone,the more energy is consumed. Especially when that emotion happens to be a negative one then it feels like a heavy burden that keeps multiplying.
endlessly ...
And even though she knew all these,it just didn't make letting go any easier.
Or rather,she didn't know how to let go.