Setting her thoughts aside, Mo Xiaye decided to just tell her daughter everything that she needed to know after all, whether she regrets the actions she took back then or not, it had already happened for close to twenty years so it didn't really matter right now.
She took in a deep breath to calm her nerves and also to rearrange her thoughts.
" Xiao Ning, I know you might be thinking the worst right now but I just want you to know, that it's uncalled for. " She said facing her daughter and looking at her straight in the eyes.
" I should probably have told you this since you were little and began to understand things after all you were a really sensible girl while growing up. " She said smiling before drawing Mo Ning close to herself so that the latter could rest her head, on her chest.
" When I was in my first year of University, I met your father who was then in his second year. He had saved me from a group guys who were harassing me and then I had vehemently insisted on buying him a meal which he reluctantly accepted. After the meal, we exchanged our contact information and from then we became friends. After sometime, we developed feelings for each other and then we began dating. " Mo Xiaye narrated with a far away look in her eyes as if she was reliving the story all over again. She continued to tell the story while caressing her daughter's hair lying on her chest.
" I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm sure you're matured enough to understand without judging me. Back then, after dating for a while, I had decided to offer myself to him. I was already in my second year then and he in his third year. When he visited me in my apartment, I had decided to proceed with my decision of giving myself to him but he had rejected the idea. He had said that we could always wait until we got married in the future but the young immature me, didn't really appreciate that or realise that he was doing it for my own good. I was really foolish back then." She said letting a chuckle slip through her lips.
" And since I was so unresigned with that decision of his, I did something equally foolish. After the exams for that semester, I invited him to my apartment as I obviously couldn't go to his because he lived in the dormitory; and under the guise of celebrating the end of the semester, I proceeded to get him drunk, and also seduced him throughout. I don't know for now, but back then, he couldn't hold his liquor that well so after a couple of drinks, he was drunk enough to not care about somethings and act on his desires which of course was stimulated by my blatant act of seducing him. "
" After that night, he was really furious but it wasn't directed at me but at himself because he still did what he had not intended to do and he was sure that I had a fifty-fifty chance of getting pregnant since it didn't occur to me to use protection and he was too drunk to think of it. That was when I realised how foolish I was. I didn't even plan any other thing just had a sentence in my head and that was 'to give myself to him.' I had wanted to go take a morning after pill, but he had rejected it. His exact words were ' those pills aren't good for your body. If you get pregnant, I'll work to take care of you and the baby.' And I knew he meant every word. That was why I never told him when I found out I was pregnant and was disowned by my father. Well one of the reasons because the other was guilt. I felt that since I was the one who started it, I should follow through to the end. But you must know that I never regretted having you because you were a blessing to me, a physical manifestation of that love I shared with him."