The next day, I've made up my mind. 'I can do it' 'he'll recognize me no matter what' ' I am supposed to be her girlfriend'. On my way to the hospital I asked Stefy for help coz'I can't go there alone so I picked up her from her house and we got some flowers and fruits from Targit. I am so nervous as we go to the hospital. As usual it feels like my anxiety suddenly came back.
*knock knock*
'come in' his mom said. 'oh it's Me , son I'll let you two talk ok. I'll just go outside the room. Stefy would you come with me?' 'yeap auntie sure'- Stefy. 'who… are.. y? no… Hi! How are you?' he asked me.' It seems like you don't know me :<. Hahahaha but it's fine I am a friend. But before the accident we were supposed to be more than friends. Hahahaha (I said jokingly). ' I think you are misunderstanding. I am dating Katrina. Actually we are already in a relationship for almost 2 years already' he said and added ' sorry I really did not know what really happened before I got into the accident and from what I know I was having a date with her'. 'Actually I was the one who is with you that time :> ' I said. 'AWWWW my head hurts, MOM CAN YOU PLEASE COME HERE? MY HEAD HURTS AND CAN YOU PLEASE TELL MY FRIEND THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED ON HER?' he shouted. ' Hey SON DON"T say that you are hurting her, Me the doctor said this is just temporary but it will take time for him to remember everything. Hope you can wait?' his mom said. ' It's fine auntie. He will come back soon :> I am sure about it and we love each other'
Dear diary,
A lot of things are happening in my life lately. I don't know why this is happening though. But I know for sure he'll come back even though I didn't mentioned much about our relationship before it happened, the accident I mean. I am so stressed out lately. I hope this will get better as time goes by. I've been experiencing a lot of struggles not only on my love life but also my family life. Everything bad that happens they always accused that it is because of me. As I get older I experience this kind of stuffs I don't even know what wrong I did. To be honest all I ever did was to follow their instructions and usually I do it alone by myself because I don't want them to see me suffering but lately all they do is to criticize me. Like I am the bad one in the family. At first I thought it is because my sister is just younger than me that she can all get what she wants plus she is much more intelligent, prettier, and talented than me. But as I get older? Hmmp everything turned out that there is favouritism in our family. I am not saying this because I hate them. I love them that is why I did everything to make them proud. Fuck I wanna leave this house. I am sorry for saying this but all I give was love and respect to them and all they did was to bring me down. I am wrong. I was so so wrong. I don't know what to do. Shall I just kill my self?. Fuck this life. Luckily Stef is always here to comfort me.
A letter full of tears by Me Lavy. 11:11 March 30,2020
Just finished writing on my diary and I've made up my mind. I'll just finish this semester here. I'll transfer in New York for good. I guess it is a good choice for me hopefully. I have a work which is modelling I am now signed up in a well known agency so it will be easy for me to earn money so money is never a problem anymore. And I'll be transferring in the best university in New York. Another good thing I can forget all the bad things that happened to me. But one thing for sure I won't forget about my family. I know that I had a hard time because of them but I still respect and love them. I just wanna grow. Without heartache. All I am doing is for the best for all of us. And I won't come back unless I am already a successful person.