{Rosalina}
Graclynn of the Young family is my best friend. She's like my partner in crime. She's bubbly and cutesy, with long blond hair always held with a headband. She loves hair accessories. She's got warm blue eyes and is practically a mama goose. She's amazing. But… she's also gullible, naive, and blindly optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I love Graclynn, but sometimes she can be a bit… well, oblivious.
Gracelynn and I are practically joint at the hip. So it's no surprise when she shows up at our door barely three days after Julien threatened me into being his "good little wife". That's barely enough time for word to spread.
"Lady Rosalina." I perk up and see it's Lilith. "Lady Graclynn has arrived."
I smile. "Thank you, Lilith. You can send her in."
Within seconds, Gracie has burst through doors and dives at me, screeching my name.
Did I forget to mention she's very energetic?
She pulls away from me, grabbing my shoulders and staring
"You have to tell me all about it!"
"Which part?" I respond apathetically.
Graclynn's eyebrows furrow. "Oh no… he's a total ratbag, isn't he?"
I bite my lip, Julien's words running through my head. "Not exactly…"
Graclynn sits on my bed and falls back. "I've always heard the son of the Gray' family is very… gentleman-like. Compared to some of the people I've met. Just look at my husband."
Graclynn just recently married to Giovanni of the Howard family. I have a sneaking suspicion that he's abusive. He's definitely verbally destructive. He tries to hide it, but he's not too good at that. He probably has an anger problem.
"Julien is more like… a manipulator," I say, my eyes fixed on the horizon outside my window.
"Like how? Emotionally?"
I shake my head. "Is mentally an option? He seemed to enjoy toying with me. He—" I cut myself off. Would he hurt Graclynn if I told her? Most likely… so I should pretend that he has redeeming qualities.
"He what? What did he do?"
"But… he didn't seem all that bad. He was… very kind." Or he pretended to be. "He was a gentleman, I won't lie." Unless I am.
I turn to Graclynn and smile at her as convincingly as I can. She sits up and grins back.
"Oh, Rosalina! I'm so happy for you!" She stands and wraps her arms around me. I sigh. I could be much worse off, I think. As long as he respects me as he says he will, I think I might just make it through this.
Graclynn suddenly pulls back, gripping my hands. "Now I have sometime I want to tell you."
I frown, not sure exactly what to expect as she guides me to my bed, still holding my hands.
She giggles. "Don't look so worried. It's good news!" My muscles only tighten. She rolls her eyes playfully. "Alright, I'll just tell you." Her smile widens to the point she almost looks mad. "I'm pregnant!"
I gasp before her smile becomes contagious and I let out a joy-filled scream. "Congratulations!"
Graclynn laughs, letting go of my hands to place her own atop her stomach. "The doctor came this morning after I had some strange nausea the past few days. He confirmed it and said it was very likely!"
I pull her to me and we hug for the third time today. "This is fantastic news, Graci!" She signs in content. "How does Giovanni feel about it?" I ask, pulling back to gauge her reaction. She sucks a breath in through her teeth.
"He's happy, I think."
"You think?"
Graclynn looks away. "He really wants a boy."
Realization hits me. "For an heir."
She nods. "And I can't help but worry about what might happen if I have a girl. I'd be perfectly fine with either. I think it's a joy we're even having children." She wears a sad smile.
She's too naive to understand that she is only Giovonni's pawn. He doesn't want her, he wants her children, or rather, her sons. Men like Lord Howard never love their wives. I guess the same can be said for Julien.
I grab Graclynn's hands. "It is a joy. So, you should treasure it, regardless of what Giovanni says."
Graclynn looks up and wipes a few tears that have fallen down her face. "I just want this child to be loved."
"And it will be. You will make sure of it." I give my best friend the most determined look. "You will make an amazing mother and your child will be lucky to have you."
She lets out a sob and throws her arms around my neck. "Oh, thank you, Rosalina! What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"I'll always be here for you, Graci. Always."
She suddenly laughs. "Sorry about the tears. The doctor said I would be moody."
I truly worry about Graclynn. If I were to compare Julien to Giovanni with what little knowledge I know about the two of them, Julien would still win by a landslide. Giovanni seems just pure evil and selfish. Julien may be sinister and manipulative, but at least he knows how to respect other human beings, especially women.
"It's okay, Graci. I don't mind."
She sniffles and pulls back, rubbing one of her eyes. "Isn't your birthday ball in four days?"
I roll my eyes but nod nonetheless.
"What's with the long face? I thought you were excited?"
I run my fingers through my hair. "I was. Until my mother told me I had to take Lord Grey with me."
"Well, that only makes sense. That way no other man can claim you." I shrug at this which causes Graclynn to cock her head to the side. "Why does that bother you so much."
I bite my lip. "I don't know." I do know. "I just feel like it might ruin it." I just don't want to be with him. "It's my birthday." It's my death day. "And honestly--"
"Our image is everything, my dear."
"--honestly… I'm scared." I'm terrified.
I stand and look outside again, finding comfort in the setting sun.
Graclynn stands up too and rubs my shoulders reassuringly. "Look, I know it's not exactly easy. And I know it's harder when you don't get to choose for yourself, but if what you say is true, then things will be okay eventually. You're probably just afraid because it's the first time you've ever had to do something like this. The first time you'll have a partner at your side."
If you could even call him that…
"I hope you're right, Graclynn."
"Of course I am. I always am."
I laugh, trying my best to ignore the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I clear my throat. "You'll be there, right?'
"Your ball? Of course! Why would I not be?"
"What about Lord Howard?"
Graclynn shrugs nonchalantly. "He should be there, but he might have work to do. You really never know with him."
I give her a skeptical look. "I think he does it on purpose."
Her eyes widen. "No, no, no! He would never. Things have just gotten really complicated recently."
My eyebrows raise. "Complicated how?"
Her eyes avert mine. "Well, I don't think I was supposed to over hear this, but when I was going to see him the other morning, he was on the phone so I didn't want to interrupt. But as I was waiting I heard him say something about a good meeting location. And he said he had gotten some type of order from someone that he was supposed to keep on an eye on someone and get information about their history. He said he wanted to trade information with the person on the other end. He was looking for something, I think.
"It didn't make a whole lot of sense. I would have listened more if I hadn't accidentally made some noise. So he hung up and I had to act like I had only just got there. Ever sense, he's been disappearing, not sleeping in the bed, or hiding out in his office."
Meeting location? Keeping an eye on someone? Learning about their history? Trading information?
"I don't know, Graclynn," I say. "That sounds pretty suspicious."
She nods. "Yeah, I know. But it's not like I can ask him. He'd just get upset that I was listening…"
I don't disagree with her. But I can't stop myself from coming up with my own conclusions.
What if he's gotten involved with a prostitute institution? It would make sense. Keeping an eye on someone? Learning their history? And "trade information". More like trade slaves. But with no proof, I would sound like a maniac. They wouldn't waste any time putting me in an asylum. But I wouldn't put something as low as this past Giovanni Howard. The only thing I wouldn't believe he'd do is if it was positive.
Graclynn shakes her head. "Enough about that. Do you have a dress yet?"
"Yes, I do actually."
She suddenly looks so excited that she looks ready to explode. "Can I see it?"
I narrow my eyes playfully. "I thought I would make you wait until the ball."
She gasps and mocks being hurt by my words. "Rosalina Marie Hastings! There is not a single ball we've gone to that we haven't shown each other our dresses first!"
I lean towards her. "Did you bring your dress?"
She scoffs as if she can't believe I asked. "Yes, I did! Give me just a moment." Graclynn walks over to my door and opens it. We catch Lilith walking by with the laundry.
"Lady Howard and Lady Rosalina!"
Graclynn giggles. "Oh, Lilith, you can still call me Graclynn!"
Lilith only smiles. "How can I help?"
"Do you know where I can find my maid, Penny?"
"She's in the servant quarters, milady. I'll let her know you requested her presence."
"Thank you, Lilith."
"Of course, milady." And Lilith disappears down the hall.
Graclynn turns to me. "Now. I want to see your dress."
I throw my hands up in defense. "Okay, okay. Follow me."
The two of us walk back inside my room and to my extremely large wardrobe. It doesn't even hold all my dresses. Just the ones I favor and, of course, any ball gown that I plan on wear soon. I don't even have the doors of it open all the way before Graclynn screeches.
"Rosalina, oh my goodness! This dress is just-- It's beautiful! Out of all of the gowns you've shown me, this one is the best! And it will look absolutely amazing on you!"
I smile shyly. "Thank you."
The dress is spectacular. It sits on the sides of the shoulder and pink with lace running from the bust all the way down to the skirt before it separates and fits into ruffles. It's lined with pink flowers and pearls on both the torso and the skirt. And the trim at the bottom of the skirt is also lace.
"It's a dress fit for an eighteenth birthday ball," Graclynn says admirably.
We get so lost in the frock as we stare at it that when Penny walks in, it spooks us.
"Oh, I'm sorry, M'ladies. Um, Lilith said you needed me, Lady Graclynn?"
"Yes! I need you to retrieve my dress from the carriage, could you do that for me?"
"Yes, my lady."
I close my wardrobe and look at Graclynn. "I am excited. But I'm still scared," I say, referring back to what we were talking about earlier.
She smiles empathetically. "He's not perfect, Rosalina. Give him a chance. He might be a little standoff-ish but you must remember he was forced into this too. He most likely will have his walls up just like you. You should try to break them down, get to know him."
I nod like I agree with her, but in all honesty, after the threats he made, I have no intentions of doing so. But… our image is everything. It's the Gray family. Although… I don't understand why it matters so much to him. Yes, the Gray's are highly respected and are virtually perfect, but… Well, I suppose I'll just have to ask him.
Penny returns and my eyes fall on Graclynn's dress. I'm immediately in awe. It's long sleeve and blue. Each individual layer of it is lined with a thin strip of lace. Then, starting at the chest, a pattern stretches to the end of the skirt that is separate from the rest of the dress by lace as well. It's simple, but it's outstanding.
"It's not much but--"
"No, no, Graci, it's… it's so pretty there's no words to express it. I love it!"
I let my hands graze the satin dress and continue to stare. I glance up at her and smile.
"It was a gift from Giovanni. It's become one of my favorites but I'm yet to wear it."
"And now you have a reason to," I reply. I catch a glimpse of outside and see that the sun has almost completely gone down. "It's getting late. You should probably head home."
Graclynn looks out my window too and sighs. "I suppose I should."
Penny, who was waiting quietly, pipes up. "Would like for me to return this to the carriage, milady?"
"Yes, please, Penny. I'll be right behind you."
Penny takes her leave and my best friend looks at me with a sad smile. "I don't want to leave," she says.
"I don't want you to leave," I tell her.
She pulls me into one last hug. "But Giovanni wouldn't like it if I was out too late. Especially now."
We pull away and I say, "Congratulations again."
"Thank you," She responds.
I walk with her to the grand staircase in my house as my mother emerges.
"Oh, Graclynn, dear! It's good to see you! You won't be joining us for dinner?"
"I'm afraid not," Graclynn says as we descend the steps. "I must get home to my husband."
"Of course, dear." My mom then looks at me. "You'll be in her shoes soon enough, Rosalina."
"Yes, thank you for the reminder, Mother," I say bitterly.
"Act like a lady, Rosalina. I've raised you better than that. You could learn a thing or two from Graclynn. You'll give my regards to Giovanni, won't you, dear?"
"I will, Lady Hastings. Thank you for having me."
"Anytime, dear, anytime."
I hold back the urge to roll my eyes as I walk Graclynn all the way to the door, which Arthur opens for us. She gives me a look I know all too well.
"I can't stand her," I hiss.
"I know," She says. "But she is your mother. And you'll only be here for so much longer. It wouldn't hurt to try and be nice."
That is one pro to marrying this guy. I won't have to deal with my narcissistic mother. I do love Graci's optimism though. To think I could ever be nice to my mother. To think she'd actually miss me when I'm gone. She was just so disappointed that I wasn't a son.
"You better get going," I say.
"Alright, well, I enjoyed talking to you. You should come see me next time," she tells me. "Now, I'll see you at your ball."
She walks to her carriage and the door is being held open by a coachman. She climbs in with Penny after her. The door closes and when the coach man whips the reins, the horses start moving.
I wave until I can't see them anymore.