{Rosalina}
"Rise and shine, milady," Lilth's voice pierces through my sleep. I toss and turn as she says, "Happy birthday, Lady Rosalina!"
My eyes shoot open. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.
I suddenly start to feel the sheets being pulled off of me.
"Come on, milady, we've got a big day ahead of us. There's so much to do and such little time to do it. Now, up, up!"
I sit up in bed and stretch. Today is the day I meet my doom, quite literally if you think about it. I begin to run my fingers through my hair as Lilith busies herself around my room as a few other maids walk into my room, each of them bidding me a polite happy birthday.
I stand up and one begins putting my bedding back together. I slowly make my way to the washroom. Before I pass through the doorway, I catch a glimpse of my dress being pulled from my wardrobe and hung in plain view. I turn away from it and find myself waiting on a stool for hot water to be poured into the tub. Lilith enters with two maid behind her to do just that.
"Would like me to run you through everything we must do before tonight's ball?"
"Sure," I reply calmly.
"Well, after your bath, we'll get polish you up. Your aunt will arrive and has offered to do your hair--"
"Aunt Alicia is coming?" I blurt out.
Lilith looks up and gives me a small smile. "Yes, milady. She said she wouldn't miss your eighteen year for anything in the world."
I can't help but let that raise my spirits a little. My Aunt Alicia is my mother's older sister. She's a widow and has no kids. She's everything I've ever wanted to be. Aunt Alicia did love her husband, but she's a feminist. She's understood me more than my mother could ever. Unfortunately, she doesn't visit often. She travels the world spreading hope to the women of all classes. Nothing holds her back. Mother doesn't like her very much, but that's never stopped Aunt Alicia from visiting in the past. I can't wait to see her.
"Alright, milady. Your bath is ready."
The other two maids leave while Lilith helps me undress and slide into the tub. As she helps me bathe, A thought crosses my mind that I can't help but ask.
"Lilith... When I'm married... you'll come with me right? To Lord Gray's manor?"
She looks at me, slightly confused before she smiles widely. "Why of course, milady, if that's what you wish."
I feel a little bit of the weight on my chest lift. That's very reassuring.
I clear my throat and say, "Can you tell me what else we're going to do today?" I ask as she drags the sponge down my back.
"Well, after your aunt does your hair I, we'll dress you in just a simple, loose gown; something easy to put on and take off to avoid messing up your hair. Your mother wants to speak to you after that--"
"I wonder why," I mutter.
"Lady Victoria means well, milady." I nod, not sure I entirely believe that. "But I do think Lady Graclynn and Lord Howard will be here rather early," Lilith continues, "Lady Graclynn said she wanted to help you get ready and they're going to do your makeup."
I chuckle. "Of course she did."
"Oh, and if I recall correctly the Gray family will be here shortly after them," I look up at Lilith a bit abruptly as she lathers soap into my hair.
"They'll be here early?" I repeat.
Lilith nods, not quite meeting my eyes.
I sigh, relaxing again, although I don't think relaxing is a great way to express what I'm doing.
"After that, we'll get you dressed, the ball will begin at five o'clock sharp, and people will begin to fill in."
"Sounds like a busy day," I state.
"It is, milady, but there will be a little room for personal time."
Lilith begins rinsing my hair out and I hum quietly as another question rises to my mind.
"Lilith, why are you washing my hair this morning? I doubt it'll dry completely before tonight."
"Well, Lady Alicia says that she needs your hair to be wet for what she wants to do with it."
All I reply with is, "Oh." And Lilith continues her work.
"Don't stress too much, milady. This is your day."
"I know, I know."
•{}{}{}{}{}•
Once I'm out of the tub, maids file back into the bathroom. They get me propped up on a stool and shave my legs, do my eyebrows, and work on making me practically shine.
I can't even focus on what they're doing. My mind is running faster than I keep up. I can see that they're poking and prodding at my body; making me beautiful. But I can't feel it. I'm captive in my own head.
"Are you alright, milady?" Lilith asks, looking up at me concerned. I just shrug.
"Where is my favorite niece?" A voice booms. They're so loud that it shakes me from thoughts.
I stand abruptly, Lilith pulling a silk robe onto me and tying it.
"Aunt Alicia!" I cry out.
"My dearest niece, Rosalina," Aunt Alicia responds with open arms.
I waste no time in embracing her. "I can't believe you're really here!"
She chuckles at this. "Not even my sister could keep me from coming." She wraps an arm around my shoulder and guides to my room into the chair before my vanity. "I hear you're engaged, is that correct?"
My stomach churns. "Yes. That's right."
The maids set my hair brush, comb, and hair ties on the vanity as my aunt pulls my wet hair out of the towel Lilith had put it in earlier.
"You don't sound too thrilled about it," Aunt Alicia comments, picking up the brush and running it through my hair.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. "How can I be?" I say softly. There's no one I trust more than her. I trust Graclynn, but there are times where she slips up. Aunt Alicia could fool you all day long.
Afterall, what's Julien going to do? Well... I probably shouldn't ask the question. I don't know what he's capable of yet, but I have a feeling I don't want to find out. Nevertheless, the only people who will ever have to know is my aunt and Lilith. If I keep my circle small, nothing should go wrong, right?
"Well, dear, you know as well as I that it isn't fair how women don't get to choose who they marry sometimes--most times. But, it is what it is. I would have spoken to your mother about this if I had known, but since word has already traveled, I'm afraid there's not much I can do."
"I know," I reply. Although, truth be told, I don't. Who cares about image?
"Our image is everything, my dear."
I shudder and this catches her attention. "Sometimes you have to grin and bear it. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll just leave you be behind closed doors." I sigh at this, not sure if that's what I want, but I suppose it wouldn't be the worst. "Or," she continues, "maybe you two will fall in love."
I scoff, "I highly doubt that."
Aunt Alicia uses the comb to split my hair up into sections and then starts to braid them. "You know, believe it or not, that's what happened with me and your uncle." I look at her with disbelief in the mirror. She glances up at me and laughs at my expression. "He was one of the rare ones." I stare at the ground and don't reply. "If he respects you, that's all that matters."
He did say he would respect me as long as I do the same to him...
"Getting married to someone you don't know is scary, but it doesn't have to define you. Yes, give the people what they want but don't dig yourself into a hole." My eyes meet hers again. I give her a confused look. "Don't try to love someone who doesn't want to be loved. And don't do it if it's not real."
I nod, filing that information away. I'll try to remember that. I look down at my hands, my nerves all over the place.
Aunt Alicia twists the braid up, seemingly nearly finished. "But don't worry too much about that today. It's your eighteenth birthday. You only get one."
I feel a hair pin scrape my scalp lightly as it's pushed into place. Aunt Alicia takes in her work for a moment before she leans over and hugs my shoulders.
"And if you ever need me, just shout. I'll come save you."
I look at my reflection. My hair looks amazing. I stare at Aunt Alicia as she gives me a big, encouraging smile. I return it slightly."
"I'm just... a bit anxious," I tell her, my fingers fiddling with each other. "I'm scared."
She holds me tighter, her smile falling a bit. "I know, dear. But I promise, you'll find a new normal. It will get better. I can promise you that much."
I try to believe her words. I try to trust that she's right, but I can't ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Lady Alicia, are you done? Lady Victoria would like to speak to Lady Rosalina," say Lilith.
Aunt Alicia lets out a long breath, releasing me and looking at Lilith. "I suppose. Have got something for her other than this bathrobe?"
Lilith bows her head, her hands collapse in front of her, "Yes, milady." She walks to my wardrobe and pulls out a long blue dress that I can just simply pull over my head.
After being dressed, I make my way down stairs, not sure where my mother wants to see me. It doesn't take long, though. By the time I reach the bottom, my mother's voice carries through the estate.
"Rosalina, my child, I'm in the den."
I walk in to find my mother sprawled out on the lounge, but somehow looking elegant and ladylike at the same time. When she sees me, she smiles.
"Well, look at you. Your hair turned out nicely."
My mouth twitches up slightly. "Aunt Alicia did it."
I think I see her eye twitch at the mention of her sister.
"Anyway," my mother says dismissively as I sit on the couch across from her. "I want to remind you that you should be on your best behavior tonight. Yes, it's your birthday, but that doesn't mean you make a fool of yourself or our family."
This makes me frown. Does she think I'm a child?
"Seriously, Mother?" I say. "I'm not stupid."
"Your actions a few days ago tell me otherwise."
I stare at her, bewildered.
"Is that all?" I finally say.
When she nods, I stand and walk away.
She calls me to speak with her and because she simply wants to tell me to behave myself. Not to wish her own daughter a happy birthday. I guess I was naive to think my mother would ever do something like that...
"Lady Victoria means well" my ass.
When I return to my room, I find Graclynn running at me with open arms. I stand up and meet her half way as she crashes into me.
"Rosalina! Happy birthday!" She exclaims. "Happy birthday! Happy birthday!"
I laugh lightly. "Thank you."
"She arrived while you were speaking with Lady Victoria," Lilith tells me.
Graclynn pulls away from me, grabbing me by the shoulders. "You're eighteen! You're officially eighteen!"
I shrug a bit. "Yeah, it seems so."
Graclynn suddenly waves a finger in my face. "Ah-ah! None of that. Smile. It's your birthday. Now let's get you dressed and prettied-up!"
I sit back down and watch everyone in my mirror. My aunt walks back in the room and she bosses the maids around as Graci busies herself with me. She talks to me, but I don't hear her. It's like I'm underwater. All I can hear is my heart.
"Aunt Alicia," I mutter.
"Huh? Rosalina, are you alright?"
I shake my head slightly. I feel light headed.
"Lady Alicia!" Graclynn yells and she comes rushing over.
The second she sees my face she says, "Everyone, get out. Now."
They bow their heads and leave. Aunt Alicia kneels before me as I try to catch my breath. She grabs my hands and she gives me a fond look.
"I've been where you are," she says. "I'm here for you. I promise you it won't be as bad as it seems in your head. And if you start to panic during the ball, come find me. Like I told you, I'll come save you. You're okay. You'll be okay."
I hear words and try to believe as much as I can. She's here. She'll be there. She'll save me.
I'm not alone.
I look at her, tears in my eyes and a lump forming in my throat. "I'm okay," I repeat.
"You are, child. I promise."
She pulls me close to her and lets me cry silently. "I know you're scared. I know."
"I don't know where this came from," I say pathetically between cries.
"You're overwhelmed. It's okay to cry. You are so very strong. And you will get through this."
If I'm like this only at my birthday ball, how bad will I be at my wedding?
Aunt Alicia and I sit there for a long time. The tears finally stop pouring and I breathe slowly. I can do this. Julien will not be the reason my birthday is ruined-- although he's done a good job of it.
My aunt pulls back, placing her hands on my cheeks and wiping my remaining tears. "You ready?"
I sniffle but nod.
"Okay," She says with an encouraging smile.
I take one last deep breath and stare into her eyes as I finally wear a genuine smile. "Let's do this."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
{A/N}
You know, I think I've decide to keep the chapters under 3000 words because I've found there is a such thing as a too long chapter, like this one would have been. So, I'll always have at least 2000 words-- unless there's a reason I don't want to-- and under 3000. Next chapter might be over 3000 because it's a BIG chapter, but on other chapters, they'll average at about 2000.
Anyway! Thoughts? Suggestions?
❤Thanks for reading!❤