Dear Hamlet,
Mine own son I knoweth the loss of thy father is very heavy toll but u wilt receiveth ov'r yourself and moveth on f'r the ranker valorous not only f'r the kingdom and thy self being but thy mothers as well. I eke knoweth thee wanteth to leaveth but I would very much very much love t if 't be true 't beest true thee didst stayeth hither beside me and thy mother f'r yond mistress sake 'long with yours. This is thy last warning I am willing to giveth thee stayeth in the castle wend not out 'r visit thy father's grave thee has't much moo pressing matters to attend to anon. So prithee just join thy mother and I in our joy and dateless love, f'r I care f'r thee. To eke halcyon yourself I am doing all I can to stand ho our rivals from invading our land. 'Tis fine mine own son.
Sincerely thy father and King,
Claudius