"Now, all of you die!"
With her imposing presence hovering from above, Danny and Roswaisa look at her in fear and shock. And so, I stand up and,
"Ha!" I laugh. "You have some nerve to have said that to the protagonist."
This Demoness thinks she can take me down that easily. Who the hell do you think I am, huh?
"Do you want to die first? Is that the reason you step forward?" she asks while looking at me as if I'm a cockroach. You really think too highly of yourself, don't you?
"Of course not! You foolish woman, I'm stepping forward because I want to live." I say with a smile like the one the shounen anime protagonists have when they, after 700 episodes of stupidness, come up with a smart strategy that definitely takes the villain down, like the smile Yukihira Souma has whenever the battle (with freaking food) reaches the point where his opponents think they have won but don't realize that they are about to be crushed. "I …"
And just like them, just like Souma, with a smug smile on my face, I implement the strategy and,
"Give up."
Bow down in front of her.
"Please don't kill me, miss I'm just a humble denizen of this stupid realm I can't possibly ever compete with you or any other demon I can't possibly become a reason for your destruction I can't possibly be a threat to anything more than a fly I can't possibly bring harm to anyone of your race at all please consider sparing me I'll give you whatever you desire in return Just please spare my life pretty please IamworthlessandharmlessandIposenothreattoyouatalland …"
I feel like two people are staring at me with disgust and pity right now. Don't you two try to act all big now! You are not much better off from me anyway. If you want to survive, you should probably start begging too.
"Request denied."
But even before they start (if they were planning to anytime soon that is), the request is already denied by the Demoness Aknin Vielos in cold and cruel voice.
"Our race has already tried to ignore warnings by that seer twice and have suffered much misfortune because of that. We can't take any more chances, even if it does look like you are really worthless and harmless." She says as she steps forward about to jump on the same floor we are on and considering the angle she is jumping at … wait, no! This bitch is trying to land right on my face and end me once in for all. I gotta run away.
"Be ready to die, human!" she says in a slightly disgusted yet at the same time sympathetic voice.
"Well," and seeing my approaching doom, I say, "Fuck you, bitch!"
As the floor beneath her feet cracks open because of the combined effort of the prior impact and her trying to put pressure on it to jump straight on my face, she starts falling down which I know for a fact would not really do anything to her, unless she gets attacked mid-air by a humungous rock that hits her head and throws her brain into confusion for a bit.
BAAM!
Well, that was what head-bashing by rocks sounds like, I guess.
While she is on the ground trying to get up, a rain of icicles starts falling down on her, which on turning back I realize was because of A Certain Magical Angel-san. Well, in order to give her more room to attack, I quickly get back to where the two of them were.
"That was nice, but how did you know that floor was going to fall down at that moment?" Danny asks me like the ice-cream eating side character he is.
"Well, it happened because of my hidden abilities, 'Plot Convenience' and 'Plot Armor' working together to make that happen. The Ultimate Combination." I reply in a proud voice.
"We don't have time for you to start showing off!" Roswaisa yells however, "It's good that you gave me a chance to deal some damage but it's not going to be enough, we still have to escape."
I know that. Fighting this Demoness is like fighting a mob boss that is meant to be defeated with the help of a 100 top-ranked players. Since we are only three and I would argue that none of us are really top-ranked, this is basically Sword Art Online at this point, the first arc of it I mean.
The best thing we can do here, which we are already doing, is running away as fast we can while trying to somehow keep inflicting damage on the Demoness (which is something done by Roswaisa alone but oh well, the other two are a Shinji-guy and a protagonist so you can't really expect anything else). But then, a realization hits me.
"Hey, I just realized something." How did I not realize this before now?
"What is it!?" Danny and Roswaisa say with curiosity as they show their enthusiasm in finding out about my new realization.
"All this time I have been thinking of Danny as a Sonohara or Shinji rip-off, but actually you are …" I pause, gulp and take a deep breath before saying, "a Klein rip-off."
I'm so glad I was reminded of SAO just a while ago or I would have never realized and have always been ignorant about who Danny really is a rip-off of.
"Yeah well, that's the most important thing you can think of right now?" Danny asks in an unimpressed voice.
"From now on, just keep your mouth shut until you have any idea about how to defeat that Demoness." Roswaisa says while sighing.
Someday, you buffoons, someday, the world will realize how groundbreaking my thoughts on society and Danny were, and will praise me as a great philosopher who was too ahead of his time.
"Wait!" I suddenly realize something yet again.
"I don't want to hear anymore nonsense." Danny starts ignoring me.
"Me neither." Roswaisa follows suit.
Seeing that, in an irritated and rushed voice, I say, "You morons, listen to me damnit! I think I know of a way to defeat her."
*****