"OH MY GOD!" I immediately hold on to my chest before my heart even went jumping out of it because I am too startled by Emma's scream.
"What the hell!?"
I pushed my door open and turn on the lights and found Emma sitting on my bed
The thing about friends is that they do unjustifiable idiocy right in front of you and they are not even bothered. And the idiocy of this girl is solely being so insensitive about my privacy and my heart condition. Wait I don't have any heart problem just to be clear.
"Okay okay I'm okay." She said jumping off my bed and walk to me and hold my shoulders and started shaking me.
"What. Is. Your. Problem?" I remove her hands, put down my bag and walk to my closet to find clean clothes. She settled back on my bed and lifting a magazine.
"I am going to change, do you mind?"
"So?" She said without looking at me and turning pages of her magazine and I'm pretty sure she's not reading a thing.
"What is it?" I asked and turn to her
"What?"
"Don't what me. Why are you here and screaming 'oh my god' on my face?"
"Technically I did not scream at your face. And am I not allowed here anymore?"
"You are still allowed here but you are not allowed to scream at this late. Don't you know you're 5 miles away from home?"
"How far is that?" she asked giving me that idiotic facial expression she mastered back at school of sarcasm.
I'm losing my temper at this girl so I sit beside her on my bed and hold her hands and pretend that I'm praying for her soul. But I am actually praying for the earth to open up and swallow her whole. I opened my eyes and she is looking at me like I'm some kind of retarded talking tarsier. I let go of her hands and lock her neck in my arms. She struggled but I am not letting go.
"Now spill it!"
"Argh, would…you… let..me..go..first." she begged
I let her go and we sit back facing each other.
"So?" I asked again
"Okay. Remember a couple nights ago?"
"Oh no please I'm over that."
"Wait listen. There's nothing to be embarrassed about we're just having fun. Don't you even know that word? Anyway just listen first." I nodded "Remember before you went home? Mira is dragging you everywhere. You both looked like drunk 12 years old at a college party." I raised my eye brows.
"What's your point?"
"I am not giving a point."
"Would you just say it already? What is it?" I need to calm down.
"Okay here it goes. When you tripped on your foot did you remember falling down? Because you have to fall in that kind of situation. Mira's arms around you and you're off balance."
"There were chairs there maybe I caught on one."
"No. Chairs are occupied." This is not good. She saw. Maybe she knows too who that someone who caught me. "Yeah someone caught you and kept you from falling. You almost stumble upon Tyler! But he hold you and kept you on your feet. You didn't even thank him!" I should dig a hole and sleep in there for a hundred years now. Tyler is Mira's ex.
"Oh god." I put my head on my palms. I should start rehab.
"Anyway, you haven't seen it but I saw how he looked at you when you almost fall on him. He looked confused and worried at the same time. Oh, he's still hot though."
"You know I do not date, right? ESPECIALLY NOT MY FRIEND'S EX BOYFRIEND!"
"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? I am not saying you should date him. I'm just telling the story."
My bedroom door opened and Sam went in.
"Who should you date?" He asked
"What is wrong with you guys? I wanted to sleep."
"There's just too many food in your house so I thought we pay a visit. Now tell me what you two are gossiping about." Sam said while eating my cookies which I'm so sure stored in a secret place in our kitchen. He went to my bed and sit with me and Emma.
"We are not gossiping please go away."
"It's Saturday please tell me we'll hangout."
"We'll hangout but not midnight of Saturday!" I stand up and throw pillows at them.
"Hey stop it!" Sam ordered. I stopped and went for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took a shower. I'm so sure those two are not leaving without doing something fun and by fun means going out in the middle of the night so I have to look okay.
"Hey, A! You can wear pajamas for all we care, just make it fast." I heard Sam shouting
When I went out the bathroom I saw both of them past asleep, Emma on my bed and Sam on the couch by the window. "Well, pajama it is." I went to my closet and found comfortable clothing. I went to my bed and lie next to Emma. This is nice. Friends sleeping over makes me forget about my thoughts.
Cereals are the best especially when I am not in the mood to cook for these two parasites in front of me. Sam is sulking over his bowl when I told him he is not getting more. Emma is pouring milk into her bowl and smiling, enjoying every bit of sadness Sam is experiencing right now. I stand up and took bread from the pantry and throw it to Sam.
"What are you listening to?" Sam said mouthing every word on my face. I put headset over my ears so that I won't hear their complaints and early morning word battle. "Hellooooooo?" he said waving his hands at my face. I remove the headset off my ears and settle it down the table. Sam grabbed my phone and went through my music.
"Do you even listen to happy songs?"
"That depends on the occasion" I answered, grab my phone from him and held it up so that they could look at the screen. "This for example," I point at my first playlist. "Is my playlist for 'the people around me sucks'. This one," I pointed at the next one. "Contains songs that says 'I hate you, I might kill you. And this one," I pointed at the last. "Is my playlist before I sleep. Like a lullaby." I put down my phone.
"So that concludes to you not listening to happy songs?"
He grabbed the phone again and went through the songs.
"You wanna listen to more depressing ones like 'I could Live with Dying Tonight' by Emma Lee?"
"No, thank you."
He keeps browsing on my phone.
"You know, you actually have good playlists. We cannot deny the fact that most songs or should I say, all songs have the same themes and message, just different interpretations."
He stand up and went to the counter where we put notepads he returned to his seat holding one and a pen. He wrote 'Love' at the top.
"Love is basically the inspiration for every song that you could think of. We could categorize each one by how love has been experienced."
He wrote 'breakup', 'unrequited', 'torn'.
"Break up songs, you all know are hating or very sad or just typically looking for definite resolution. I'm pretty sure you don't listen to those." I nodded.
"Unrequited are those that are very very sad and depressing and tragic. I don't know you have of those here but anyway it doesn't matter that much."
"Does 'very' plays a big role in your explanation?"
Emma asked after a long moment of divided attention between us and her nails.
"Maybe. I'm not good with words." Sam answered.
"Please continue. I'd rather listen to your theories than listen to both of you banter."
"Okay genius continue." Emma said making a face. Sam mock her back. I just put my face on my palm.
"So, reciprocated songs are passionate, like saying "I'm truly, madly, deeply, foolishly in love with you. It is sometimes called surrender songs."
"Like Coldplay."
"That is the perfect example."
He started singing, "All I know, all I know is that I'm lost… wherever you go. All I know… is that I love you so…"
"Don't. Please don't." Emma interrupted his singing.
"Total surrender. I'm in love. I lost. I'm going to fight for you. Very dramatic"
I said "Hmm. Yeah that's right."
"What, you listen to them?" Emma asked
"Why? Aren't they cool anymore?" I asked
"They're cool, alright. But I am not making you mixes of those." Sam said putting down his list and going for another bread.
"How about listen to my suggestions. I have Stone & Cold Fox, Glitterbug, Echiea de Luxe, The Japanese House, Morgan Page, and Foy Vance. That's an assortment. You'll love it." Emma went back to inspecting her nails. I went back to listening to music until we all finished eating breakfast.
After breakfast we went to my room and slept again. By the time we woke up it was already afternoon.
"Aren't you going to feed us?" Sam asked, putting his stuff in his bag
"What are you, my pet?"
"I could be your pet."
I sighed and went to change clothes.
"You know what, this day is so boring but I can't think of anything fun to do. Maybe I'll just go home and sleep again. Or do homework?" Emma said.
"That is a great idea, doing homework will make you think of other fun things to do so go ahead let's go home and go back when we decided what to do." Sam said
I lead the two to the door. Before they're even gone I shouted to Emma, "Hey Em! I think I might try your playlist. Send me those when you arrived home."
"I can send you now." Emma said, smiled and punch keys on her phone. Seconds later my phone beeped.
I realized that there's just too many characters in my story. I have to commit to each one of them and that would be really hard considering I am not good with commitment. That, I heard from the thoughts of my author. Nice. Really nice. Now I can even hear my author's thoughts. There is something really, really wrong with me. I can't figure out what but I'm definitely on the verge of losing my shit. Speaking of Verge, Owl City's Verge is now playing. A little pop won't hurt me. And Emma's assortment is really good, I can't argue with that. So back to my thoughts, I also realized that I've been interacting with too many people that I haven't been in contact in years like that sudden jerking with Alex and embarrassing wild night and almost falling into Tyler, fyi, Mira's ex.
I have to be collected and in control in this kind of situation.
"What?"
"Hold my hand."
"Why?"
"Because I want you to."
"Why do you want to?"
He did not answer. He grabbed my hand, intertwined between his own like it was made for mine to fit. Every nerve in my body lighting to life. Electricity jumping from one cell to another like playing volleyball. Every hit damaging. My heart stops pumping blood. My lungs clogged. I forgot to function.
"Your hand is so cold" He said
"It's because my ghost boyfriend is not letting me go." I said.
I close my eyes. Not that it would do anything or ease the electrifying feeling. The blackness behind my eyelids doesn't matter, because a light, too bright, blinded me. My head started to spin. I'm falling then flying, and turning.
His lips came close to my ears. His breathe tickles my nerves.
"Open your eyes." He whispered.
So I did.
When I opened my eyes I was so sure I am going to be late. Monday mornings suck.