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If I Could Turn Back Time

myra_chandelier
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - The Concubine

A woman in a beautiful white robe was standing in front of the imperial watch tower. The soft breeze that blew, swayed her long black hair gracefully. Her maid who had been following her faithfully chided behind her back. It was so uncalled for the royal concubine to roam around the palace with her hair loose. But her mistress was exceptionally stubborn today. She insisted that it was early in the morning hence there were scarce people to notice about her inappropriate appearance.

The royal concubine was taking a leisure walk that morning after having her breakfast. Unlike their previous routine, her mistress decided to strayed away from their usual path and now she had been standing in front of the watch tower for almost thirty minutes. For the exact duration of time, she had never taken her eyes off the watchtower.

Gushes of wind once again passed through their small entourage. This time, it felt a little colder than usual. The maid unconsciously rubbed her palm against her arms. She signed for the eunuch to wrap the thick fur robe (that he was holding) around their mistress. The young eunuch hurriedly put on the coat on the concubine.

"My Lady. It's cold here. Let's go back to the mansion" the maid suggested. She was worried sick about her mistress' condition. A pregnant woman should not be exposed to cold temperatures like this! If something bad befallen on her mistress, she would be the one who was going to lose her head! The thought alone was enough to send a chill down her spine.

The emperor was generally a calm and tranquil figure. He rarely made a scene out of irrelevant stuff such as not putting one's hair. However, there was something about her mistress that always did not sit well with the emperor.

He had always lose his temper whenever he was in the company of the mistress . His calm and collected persona fade as soon as he saw the mistress. It was always as if they he had a deep hatred toward her. Despite that, the mistress seemed to be his favorite among all of his concubines in the palace. He always visited her mansion and spend the night with her. He cared enough about her to always inquire about the mistress's frequent sickness. He also held her gently at night , whenever she was visited by her occasional nightmare. Yet…. Somehow, he was quite cold toward her. This young maid could never understand the exact nature of their relationship. Was it love? Or hatred?

What was more puzzling was the fact that the mistress , too, was being indifferent toward the emperor. She showed almost no emotion nor reaction toward the treatment that she received from him. They were an odd couple. Other Concubines would die just to get the attention that the emperor gave to her. But not her. On the other hand, this young maid was unsure whether the other concubine would be able to face the cold and moody emperor all the time.

Seeing that her mistress seemed to be deep in thought, the young maid once again tried to call her

"My lady?" This time, her mistress looked directly toward her. "Do you want to go back to your room? It's getting cold here"

The Lady was staring at the maid's face for quite a time. She then turned to look at the direction of the watch tower. She gazed at the tower longingly.

"Xiao Er, would I be able to see the entire capital if I climbed to the top of the tower?" her soft voice broke the silence between them. Her questions seemed to make the entire group flustered. The young maid bowed helplessly on the ground. The rest of the group began to imitate her behavior.

"My lady, this is not my place to hold you from doing whatever you want. But My lady must not climb the tower. Please consider your current condition" She appealed.

"But …..I wanted to see the scenery. You know that I am from the neighboring country, right? Since I came here three years ago, I have never gotten the chance to see the boisterous and exuberant place." Said the royal concubine half crooning.

"This servant does not dare to give any permission to my lady," said the young maid. All of the servants were still on the ground, silently pleading for their mistress' cooperation.

This sight however, riled up the concubine even more. She had set her eyes on the watchtower. She will climb the stairs regardless of the myriad consequences she would face in the future.

"I'm going" Said the concubine. She lifted the hem of her skirt before stepping on the first plank. The concubine gladly ignored the sounds of her servants clamoring and pleading for her not to do it. Today she wanted to feel free. No one had ever listened and understood her. Why should she do the same to other people?

"What is going on here?!" A deep baritone voice greeted the group. Every servant that had been prostrating and pleading abruptly stopped at the track. Even the royal concubine paused her step in the middle of first and the second plank.

"Why was there commotion here ?" His question was directed at the young maid who was still on the ground. Yet, the royal concubine knew that it was an indirect attack toward her unseemly action that she was about to take a few moments ago.

"This servant…."

"I was the one who caused this ruckus earlier in the morning" the royal concubine calmly explained the situation. She was still in her previous position on the staircase. "I wanted to see the scenery of the capital from the top of the tower. The servants had already tried to prevent me from going up there, but I was being difficult" she continued.

"Concubine Rong! How dare you stand on the staircase in front of His Majesty like that. You didn't even pay obeisance toward His Majesty!" The old eunuch who had been the emperor's closest aid chided the royal concubine. In the palace, only he had the power to reprimand a concubine about the palace's propriety without the fear of enduring the emperor's wrath.

The mistress looked intently at the emperor for a few seconds as if challenging him to openly scold her in front of the palace's aide, before - finally - decided to step down from the plank. She then performed a perfect curtsied in front of the emperor.

"Forgive this lowly concubine Your Majesty for conducting an inappropriate act. This concubine was blinded by an impulse moment that she forgot to take her servant's advice into consideration" She then proceeded to bow on the ground. The young maid hurriedly went to aid the visibly pregnant concubine to kneel on the pavement.

All of the servants twitched uncomfortably after listening to the concubine's half baked 'apology'. Trying to lower oneself on the ground while carrying the emperor's child was another rule that she purposely broke to annoy the emperor. Just like how she was always acting up recently. In this palace, no one had the audacity to provoke the visibly upset emperor except for concubine Rong.

Since her first arrival at the Tang empire's palace three years ago, Concubine Rong has always been deemed as a peculiar figure who had no conscience of propriety. Rumors had it that she hailed from a quiet town at the border between Tang empire and Yan Kingdom. Peony town (the rumored town) was under Yan Kingdom's authority hence making concubine Rong to be the subject of the king of Yan. Taking an unknown peasant girl into the palace was already ludicrous for a man of his status. What more from their neighbouring country that they had long standing beef with! Therefore, the news about the Tang Emperor making a peasant girl from their enemy's country into a royal concubine caused an uproar in the royal court.

Most of the officials demanded the emperor to retract his decision officiating her as royal concubine. The emperor vehemently refused to do so. Confused and bewildered, the officials tried to investigate Concubine Rong's background but to no avail.

The most mind-boggling aspect for this event was the emperor who seemed to be very determined to keep her in the inner court somehow decided to let concubine Rong loose once she was officiated into the inner palace. She was not given proper training on how to properly conduct herself according to the palace's rule. This made Concubine Rong to be further alienated by the residents of the inner palace for being uncultured and rude. It also did not help that Concubine Rong naturally had an arrogant air around her despite coming from humble beginnings.

Nevertheless, she was also highly observant and a quick learner. In the span of only one year, she managed to grasp all the rules and regulations of the inner palace. Not only that, she also went through the grueling task of learning how to read, write and dance at the same time. This proved to be a partial mistake as her ability to adapt made her even more envied by others. Now that Concubine Rong is currently carrying the emperor's child, she was practically an outcast in the inner palace. Concubine Rong had enough of all this!

"Concubine Rong!! You…how dare you…" the elder eunuch sweat profusely. He was at loss for words. He never thought that he could live past this day where a lowly concubine subtly tested the patient of the emperor. He secretly eyed the emperor to see his reaction toward the ill mannered concubine. To his surprise, he saw that the emperor was smirking at the concubine throughout the entire fiasco as if he was enjoying it.

"Err…Your Majesty" the Elderly Eunuch tried to get the emperor's reaction.

"Yes?"

"How should we settle this Your majesty?" he inquired.

The emperor kept on staring at the concubine who was still kneeling on the ground with a fascinating facial expression. His face suddenly changed to a much more serious expression and ordered the young maid to help the concubine back at her feet. Once the concubine straightened her body posture, the emperor walked leisurely toward the concubine. He stopped at a moment, and then proceeded to stare at her with the exact smirk on his face.

"I see that you are already showing your original self" he was practically hissing at this point making everyone – except for the concubine- to once again bowing on the ground.

"Servant. Take Concubine Rong back to her room. Ensure that she gets the rest she needs. Do not let her out of the room" the emperor ordered nonchalantly. He then walked away from the garden as soon as he gave the order. The chaotic morning quieted down as soon as the elder eunuch ushered everyone to dismiss.

***************

In her room, Concubine Rong was trying to force herself to sleep. After being cooped up in the room for quite a while, she can no longer lay around on the bed the whole day. Her mind suddenly drifted back to her simpler life in Peony town. Living in a small hut with her older brother, Concubine Rong did not have any other family members. Her closest friend was the five-year-old Yue Liang, her neighbor's granddaughter. It was funny because Concubine Rong was old enough to be Yue Liang's mother. In fact, she was quite well known as the spinster from their village. At the age of 27, she was not married and still lived with her older brother.

She lived a rather sheltered life with her older brother. Every day, she would spend most of her time doing chores around their small hut and keeping company with Yue Liang while her brother would venture into the forest to collect herbs to be sold at the apothecary and the town's market. Except for one particular day, when he came back with a serious foot injury. His mobility was hindered and Concubine Rong was pleading for them to switch places for a day.

'Only if I did not insist on going to the forest the next day'. She realized that regretting the decision that she made almost three years ago, would not do any good to her. She was the one who decided to bring the injured man that she found in the forest back home and hide him in the shed at the back of their hut. She was also, too naïve to realized how stupid it was to put her trust on a stranger. What more harboring a huge crush on the same strange man. It was one of the stupidest decisions she had ever made and she had to spend her entire life thinking about the fateful day that changed her life forever. It was also the last day she had seen her brother. She helplessly lifted her head.

"It has been three years."

**********

Peony Town 3 years ago

Mo Chou walked carefully toward the shed which her brother used to store his tools. Other than his farming tools, there was something else that she secretly decided to hide from his brother in the shed.

As her brother's movement is still limited due to his foot injury, he has no clue about the stranger that she brought back to their house. Mo Chou was still wondering why the stranger asked her to hide his presence from other people? Was he chased by dangerous men? He was wearing intricate gear befitting a soldier. Mo Chou heard that a small battle occurred not far from their village between their soldiers and Tang Empire's. Peony Town was located at the border between these two countries. Finding themselves caught in the middle of an altercation between the two countries was, unfortunately, inevitable.

'If he was a soldier, which country did he belong to? They would get into trouble if the authorities knew that they were hiding their enemy's soldiers! But, helping a helpless man was a good virtue right?' Mo Chou tried to reason with herself.

Nevertheless, hiding a man in the shed was not particularly a difficult task. Mo Chou and her brother lived quite far from her neighbors' house. Their closest neighbour, Yue Liang and her younger siblings, was the only guest that they have ever received throughout their ten years living in the hut.

She stopped her track right in front of the shed's door. She took her sweet time prepping her hair; pulling the untamed baby hair back to its proper place. She dusted away any dirt on her clothes and pulled them downward in effort to try to make them look presentable. Mo Chou realized that she had been acting like a 17 years old young girl and it was quite embarrassing. But the heart wants what it wants right?

After she was satisfied with her appearance, Mo Chou softly knocked on the door. The voice of the man that she had rescued a week ago, echoed from inside giving her permission to enter the shed. As soon as the door was open, Mo Chou saw the man in his proper clothes calmly sitting on the shift made bed at the right side of the shed.

This can only mean one thing.

"Are you leaving?" Mo Chou's eyes were scanning the mysterious man and the bundle that he kept to his side.

"Yes." The man replied shortly. He never really spoke more than what was necessary. His eyes were much more expressive than his mouth can actually be.

"Ouhhh…." That was the only thing that came out from Mo Chou's mouth. Disappointed? Of course! But deep down inside, she knows that this day would one day come and she has no right to impede him from leaving their place.

"Do you want me to show you the way out of this village?" Mo Chou offered. That way, she can spend a little bit of time with them before they separate for good.

The man suddenly rose from the bed. He reached for his bundle and wrapped it around his left shoulder. He then slowly moved closer to her before stopping right In front of Mo Chou's face. He did all this without taking his eyes off her even for a second. Mo Chou's heart was beating harder and louder. Their close proximity almost made her knees go numb. She had never been this close to a man except for her brother.

He lifted his free right hand and began to caress Mo Chou's left cheek. The hand then snaked its way down to her neck and finally rested on her right ear.

"I'm going. You don't have to see me out" He walked out of the shed as soon as he uttered the sentence. Without even saying goodbye. Mo Chou was left still standing in the same position for five minutes. She wanted to scream and follow him wherever he wanted to go, but Mo Chou knew she could never leave her brother alone.

Her life since then seemed to move slower than usual. Her brother kept complaining that she was not being attentive and looked lost all the time. Probably she was. She had lost someone special for her.

After recuperating for almost two months, her brother finally had gotten back to his feet. That morning, he was energetically looking forward to resume his usual routine collecting herbs in the forest after being home bound for a long time.

He went to the shed to retrieve his scythe. It was not long before he frantically ran back to their kitchen with a white jade dangling from his clutch. The man's white jade! Why did she never find the jade in the shed before?! Now , her brother would know that she sheltered a man in their shed!

"What is this?! Why did I find this in our shed?! Did you hide anyone there without my knowledge?! Answer me!" Mo Chou was taken aback seeing her brother's strong reaction upon seeing the white jade.

"Yes. And calm down. He was only a mere mercenary." She explained. Her brother's face went pale as if he was looking right at the devil himself. He closed his eyes and tried to compose himself. Failing to do so, he began to prowl toward the direction of their family's cupboard.

"Pack your things! We need to go!" he spread a large cloth on the table and frantically shoved anything that he could reach onto the cloth.

"Why?"

"Don't ask! Just do it!" Throughout her ten years living with her brother, she had never seen him yell at anyone, what more toward his only younger sister. Mo Chou was extremely frightened by her brother's behavior.

Their little escape plan was however cut short by the sound of horses' hoof beating the ground. Without them realizing it, they were already surrounded by Tang's soldiers. Her brother tried to fight them off but he had no chance when it was him against a group of elite enemy soldiers. He was easily subdued, dragged away from her and never seen again. The scene was, however, vividly imprinted in her mind. The sight of her brother being beaten and her pleading to the mysterious man - who was sitting on a black horse - to let both of them go had been haunting her ever since.

**********

Concubine Rong jolted on her bed. She slowly opened her eyes as the sound of thunder had woken her up from her recurring nightmare. Her robe was wet with sweats coming out from every single pore. The dream again!

It had been three years. She had been dreaming of the fateful day ever since she was pregnant with her first child. Her brother would never know that he would become an uncle in a matter of a few months. The brother that had been taking care of her whole life. Tears started to roll down her cheek.

'Brother Gao…where are you?'