The drive home is nerve-racking. I am just so wanting to be attached to my mate, I physically can't process anything. I actually can't let go of him. We were halfway home a few minutes ago and we had stopped for gas. Well, I wouldn't let him get out of the car unless I came with him. He already knew this, but still kept teasing me. Which I don't mind, I want things to go back to normal. I want to forgive eventually and forget. But I don't care at the moment because I missed everything, including daylight.
What I want is something that is not oatmeal or a TV dinner. They were never cooked all the way and the oatmeal was chunky. So choking down the meals was better than nothing. I need some pasta or pizza pronto.
We are almost home, the car ride has been silent he didn't talk much during the ride home since we both need time to think.
How do people process this?
As soon as we pull into the driveway my mom comes running out of the house looking like a madwoman. I smile as she flaps her arms and runs to the car.
She opens the car door and then looks at Anthony.
"Is she okay?" She asks extremely worried. My mom looks at me and smiles, tears building up in her eyes.
"You're pre...pretty beaten up. Your face is so puffy from crying. Come on honey let me fix you something nice." I thought she was going to blow it for a second. I knew it, my mom can even sense it. But I fall into her arms and she drags me off into the house.
"Babe, I know you don't want me to leave and I know I don't want to too, but-" there is always a but.
"I have to go to the pack hospital to check on the members who got hurt." He says looking concerned about our pack. The small vein on his neck popping up, making my heart almost shatter.
"Go, they got hurt because of me. Tell them I will be there soon. I owe them my life." He looks at me for a moment before grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on it, before he leaves. I watch him walk away and then look at my glowing mother. She is not glowing because I am at home. She is glowing over the fact she knows I'm pregnant.
"So he doesn't know?" She asks and all I want to say is duh..but I do not say duh because that is very rude.
"No, I didn't even know for sure." Her smile widens.
"I have a few tests under the bathroom sink so after you shower, you can take it to confirm it. I can't believe there is a baby in you." Mom's mood just got 100 percent better. I can hardly believe she can sense this, but mom we have had sex and that's what happens.
We walk into the house and I see Miguel, he runs up crying. I cradle him in my arms now.
"I miss you so much, you never allowed me to go again!" He pouts continuing to cry. I almost cried trying to comfort him.
"Baby, don't cry anymore, I am here aren't I?" He shakes his head yes at what I just asked him.
"I wuv you, sissy." He says cradling into my neck.
"I love you too baby." He then skips off to do whatever. My other brothers hug and kiss me, and then I walk up the stairs to shower.
Oh, man, does hot water feel good? I rub all of my mate's body wash all over me hoping that I can wash away the scent of Carter.
I get out and then I remember about the test, oh god this is the most nervous I have ever been about a test and I was in AP Calc.
I don't understand, why I didn't pee on them before I got into the shower, but whatever.
I take both of them and decide to get dressed while it processes the lines.
I quickly throw on pajama pants and one of Anthony's workout shirts.
Maybe I should do this with my mate. I think to myself, but then he already has a lot on his plate.
I can smell the food my mom is cooking, it smells like heaven. If heaven consisted of my mother's lasagna then it would be.
I run down the stairs and my mom fills a plate to its rim with it. Milo walks in with his plate and mom slaps his hand away to the point he almost drops his plate.
"This is your sisters, I don't think you just came from a dark cement room you were trapped in for over two weeks." He smiles and then winks at me.
"Fine, but you're going to make her fat." I want to laugh so hard right now. If I am pregnant then I will get fat, so who the fuck cares?
Oh my god, I missed the old me. Oh my lord, I am sorta back! Well sorta...not really my body is still shaking and I am terrified to ever open the front door again.
"Then I could look like I am your sister, I know your wife is pregnant but that doesn't mean you have to eat all her cravings." He laughs at my jab at his recent weight gain.
"I can't wait to rock the dad bod." He says pushing out his belly. Yeah, I am betting she can wait too. I laugh to myself and at him.
"Oh, I thought you already were," I say back causing one of his eyebrows to go up as he looks at me.
He walks out of the kitchen laughing.
"Glad to see you are still you, if you want to talk about it you can." Mom looks at me as I take a bite. I look back at her and frown.
"I am glad to be back too, but when I am willing to talk I will. I just need time." My mom hums to herself a little.
I eat two helpings and feel extremely bloated. My stomach can't take anymore at this point.
It is December 12th and there is no snow. Which is extremely weird. Wait it's the 12th so that means there are only twelve more days until Christmas and I don't know what we are doing.
If I am pregnant, I don't want our baby to be a burden to him. He doesn't need any more stress. Maybe I can tell him on Christmas?
Then I hear him coming down my stairs. He decided to come through my bathroom window. Shit. He. Could. Have. Saw. The. Fucking. Pregnancy tests!!
With the way he is smiling, I think he did. I should have locked the damn windows.
At least he is not mad. I think?