Last night I had the best sleep ever. Like oh my gosh, it was absolutely amazing. I would like, I mean more like love to stay in bed all day. The best sleep comes when it should feel like a sin.
But some people in this pack put their lives at stake for me. So I owe them a thank you and some muffins at least. It takes a lot to put someone else's life before yours. Especially with people you hardly know enough to save them.
But, I do know a lot of people from our pack. Just it is extremely hard to get to know over 1000 people. We are scattered all over the midwest of the United States. But our numbers are at an all-time high. And so far we are adding to that number.
That makes me so excited. Oh my lord, by next Christmas we'll have a little family. Oh shit, I am going to be pushing a child out of my lady bits. Oh god, someone please guide me to the nearest place to throw up.
This is not what I wanted, I want to have everything secure with both mine and Anthony's life.
But this is both of our faults. We had unprotected sex multiple times. I don't know why, but that is my biggest cravings. As soon as I mention sex all my worries just fade away because, I am too busy thinking about sex. It's a good distraction. Since I am going to get all-round and not so jolly. He better be at my back and call. I know we do have businesses running a pack and him working for his father's law firm. I could care less about his work at the law firm. That is a whole other side of him we never talk about. Because his work is confidential information and is intended solely for him and his team to know. Which his job is interesting, but you lose interest when you can't forgo the conversation without breaking the law.
Which I talk he listens, we have a common ground on that. But he knows I am always there to listen to him, no matter what.
Good thing, I get distracted easily. If I could not have, I would have literally thrown up all over the place. Which isn't nice. I haven't had any food cravings, or any kind of cramps or anything wrong which should be, really good or at least good. I don't want anything to go wrong at all.
My anxiety has never been this bad, I don't think I actually have anxiety. But whatever this it is going to make me fall apart and cry.
I mix up the muffins and it becomes the best distraction ever. After making twelve dozen mini muffins I can walk it over to the houses of the people who helped.
"Mom, did you buy the little baskets?" I ask, and she nods.
"We still have a bunch in the pantry cabinet." I open it up to find them.
"Thanks, mom." I don't hear anything but one large growl. A growl that doesn't scare me.
"Why are you working so hard? That is not good for the baby." He says under his breath.
"Relax babe, I am fine it is still the first trimester my mom did these kinds of thing when she was pregnant." He huffs out a long sigh.
"Fine, but at least let me help," I almost laugh. I bite my lip to stop myself.
"Do you even know how to bake?" He smiles cheekily.
"No that is why I have you. You are the better half." I can feel my cheeks turn hot. Holy chocolate chip fudge cookies!
"This pregnancy is going to make me more vulnerable. I can't hide my emotions anymore." I hear an "ah-ha" behind me.
"So you do hide them I knew it." I laugh a bit at his comment.
"We both do, but it is going to be a huge challenge for me." He laughs yet again.
"I love to watch you squirm." I sigh grabbing a fist full of flower and throwing at him.
He grabs the cup of milk, I just poured and throws it at my blouse.
"You can't do that I'm pregnant." This gets a fist full of chocolate chips thrown at me. A few of them, shimmy down my shirt.
"Oh, what a wasteful werewolf you are. I hope you know that throwing the milk was practice and throwing perfectly good chocolate is just plain cruel." I grab an egg in my hand and we go into a let's stop it hug. I crush the egg on his neck.
"You little..." He says chasing after me.
"You little cute adorable pregnant women...?" I question making him smile at me.
"I like how you think making muffins is too strenuous, but ducking behind the kitchen table and running from you is just fine." I see how it is, he thinks I am only safe as long as he is around.
"Well, at least I am here to protect you." He can't protect me from himself.
"Okay," I say clearly now I am annoyed with myself and him. But it is hard getting back to normal. There is so much excitement over the baby and too much pain over the fact I was kidnapped, by someone I thought was a friend, better yet he was my best friend. I haven't heard from my friend Ariana in forever or well since she found her mate. I clearly don't know what to think or what I am doing with my life.
"Baby what's wrong?" I didn't realize I attached myself to the chair.
"Just thinking and over-stressing about everything." He looks at me deeply, so deep it is like he is reading my soul. Maybe he is reading my mind and in that case, I should run.
"You are safe, I am here and I am not going anywhere," he says calmly.
Thank God for his tenderness or I would fall apart completely.
"I know but you have work and we both have lives to live. We can't spend every second of every day together." He huffs out a loud growl that is way too animalistic.
"Why can't I?" He asks his face turning completely red. I don't want to say I don't want him to, but I kind of want to go back to normal and normal doesn't involve what he wants to do.
"Leave." Is all I can say he hesitates but actually follows my orders for once. I can hear his wolf and how upset they are and as soon as he is gone that is when I break down crying.
Tears fall down my face, and I feel like they will never stop coming.
"I can do this!" I say in-between hiccups. But that just makes it worse. I can't be a burden, just suck it up, Dianna. I keep telling myself. Just suck it up.
You need to be strong for your baby and for your pack! I tell myself grabbing a few chocolate mini muffins.