When I went back to the estate, I didn't waste any time to go ahead and tell Emilia's father about my decision on taking a personal servant. The father seemed pleased that I managed to find one, and the brothers seemed relieved that they don't have to brainwash any other servants to be their spy. I'm glad I made things easier for them.
Also, the butler has to go through some training on being my personal servant, it'll be a week before he actually gets to sign the contract. So at least, I don't have anyone hovering over me when I meet up with that stranger tomorrow at the café.
I washed up and had dinner with the family, then I prepared to go to sleep. I was sitting at the edge of my bed when I heard something tapping the window. Glancing at the corner of the room where the knight statue stood, holding a very much useful sword, I then turned my head at the sound.
I let down my guard when I saw a raven at the windowsill, a piece of paper tied around it's neck. Is that guy trying to send me a message? I walked to window to open it, then I took the paper from the raven's neck. Unfolding it, my earlier suspicions were correct upon reading the content. It is written in modern Korean writing.
Reading the letter, apparently the guy wants to push back the meeting. Said that we'll meet 4 days from now. Weird, but he clarifies that he'll explain why he pushed back the meeting. He better.
I get the feeling he wants to drag me into something, but the bracelets he returned to me... I guess he wants something in exchange for returning those bracelets to me. Huh, I guess I'm willing to get dragged into it, as long as I get to avoid the royal family and the Saint. The letter was burned with the fire of my candle, I can't have anyone in this house suspecting me for something nefarious.
I got out a piece of paper and ripped it into a small piece. I wrote out my reply, simply informing the guy I got the message and hope that the days pass by quickly so we could finally meet. After I tied my message around the raven's neck, it quickly flew out of the window. Considering it'll be a starless night tonight, the bird won't get caught sight by anybody of this estate as it blends with the black sky.
I placed my hand on the window frame and look at the raven flying away. I glanced at both of my bracelets that I wore on my right wrist. Ahhh, what exactly did I get myself into in exchange for these priceless bracelets?
...
It's been three days since the raven brought the message to me, the guy didn't send anything back after my reply. Also, I heard that Duke Godfrey have arrived at the palace today. Even now, just thinking how twisted of a character that man was, I find myself having an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I hope we both seldom cross paths, I don't ever want to get too deeply involved with his plans. I'm sure the Emperor will handle him well.
"Milady, the weather today seems to be great. How about we head out for some fresh air?" Siegfried suggested, clearly concerned with the fact I haven't been able to feel some sunshine for the past three days.
"Since you've been suggesting it since yesterday, I guess we can head out to the outskirts of the capital today. I'm sure the heart of the capital is still bustling from Duke Godfrey's return." I smiled at him and he nodded at my words.
I ordered the servants to prepare for my impromptu outing. They quickly went on with it.
...
I entered the carriage with no problems, and before Siegfried was about to close the carriage door, I held it and he simply looked confused at my actions.
"Siegfried, if you don't mind... will you sit here with me? It gets a little lonely for a while." I gave a hesitant smile.
He looked around and then looked at me with eyes that clearly said, 'The other servants aren't going to like this,' and I simply widened my smile and squinted my eyes to make him submit. He stared at my face for a few seconds before sighing, and got into the carriage. He closed the door and the carriage moved.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked directly.
I chuckled at his straightforward personality and looked out the window.
"Siegfried, is it wrong of me to fully trust you?" I gouged his facial expression changing at my question with his reflection on the window. His confusion was cute.
"Of course you can trust me, my lady. I am your personal knight."
I turned my face to look at him in the eyes, and he is clearly flustered at my stiffening expression.
"That's not what I meant, Siegfried. What I'm actually asking is, are you willing to work for my brothers if they ask you to? Spying on me and reporting to them. Are you not already working for them?" My voice sounded void of emotions, and I studied his upcoming reaction.
His eyes widened and his fists that lied atop of his lap were tightening. I let out an exasperated smile.
"Siegfried, you shouldn't be oblivious to it by now. The reason why Henrik even suggested a personal servant to me wasn't to make sure I finally have a helping hand. It was apparent in my eyes, my brothers want to plant a spy near me." I looked out of the window again.
When I turned my head to look at him again, he avoided my eyes. Though it seemed suspicious, I know he's only like this not because he was guilty of my accusation. He's infuriated at my brothers' actions. I am certain of this not only because of my past life experiences on being an expert to read other people, but it's also based on Emilia's trust in him.
"They're overstepping their boundaries. How dare they–"
"Don't be like that, it was my fault to begin with. My past actions have led me into this predicament, it saddens me to say that I actually deserve this." I sighed, knowing fully well that my words were true.
"Milady..." Siegfried's brows furrowed and I chuckled at his expression.
It was silent for a while. Siegfried was clearly having an internal conflict within himself at this revelation while I merely basked in the silence. He needed this, he needs to be clear-headed when he's thinking over this. By now, he should realize what sticking to me means.
Although the current head of the march is father, you can't deny the fact his two older sons are significant too. One day, one of those two will inherit the march, and everyone can predict that I will be married off to a lower noble. I am nothing more than a bastard, and my mother was the mistress my father had an affair with while the Marquis' first wife was still alive. It is no secret that both my brothers hate my very existence– the product and proof of our father's extramarital affair with a lower noble, a woman who cannot be compared to their mother.
If I don't die for getting involved with the Royal Family's affair with the saint first, I might just lead a very miserable life just for I am who I am– an unwanted person. That's why I am seriously considering renouncing my noble title and lineage by the time the Emperor marries the Saint.
So to stay by my side and pledge your loyalty to lowly Lady Emilia means your future in serving the luxurious Maxwell wouldn't go far, it wouldn't be long.
You know that fully well, Siegfried. Although I wish I had possessed Emilia's body earlier to stop you from pledging your loyalty to me, to follow me even after I take another man's name–or even after I am stripped of my noble title–it won't be too late for you to back out. You really should...abandon me while you can.
"If Henrik or my brothers approach you to take that job, Siegfried, take it."
"Lady Emilia–"
"It's for the best, Siegfried. My brothers might even offer to acknowledge your oath to me void and maybe you can continue to serve the Maxwell family even after I get married to a lowly baron. Your future won't be doomed for sticking yourself by my side." I placed my hands on top of each other on my crossed legs.
"Milady, let me speak–"
"You and I both know I'm doomed to lead a miserable life. I plan on denouncing myself from my noble title, but considering how deep my brothers grudges are against me, that path won't be easy. Even if I manage to escape the noble circle, I doubt you want to follow a worthless ex-noble just because of your oath to me. Please...I don't want you to suffer with me, Siegfried. I also..." I looked down at my hands, which are now interlocking with each other. Emilia's heart is having a hard time on letting Siegfried go like this. But both me and her understand that this is for his sake and ours.
If Siegfried manage to gain my brothers' trust, they'll surely spare him, that's why I have to do this–to order him to essentially betray me. But also, I'm doing this to make sure that–
"We have arrived, Milady!" The coach announced loudly, snapping me into reality.
I looked at Siegfried who looked downcast at my order. He slowly stood up and opened the door, exiting it. After he got out, I stood up and walked to exit too. I saw his outstretched hand and I took it. After he guided me out of the carriage, I tried to let go of his hand until he gripped on it. I turned to him, clearly shocked at how tightly he was holding my hand.
He then forced me to face him and kneeled in front of me. My hand met his lips.
"I refuse your order, Milady. The oath I gave you that day was true and sincere, there's no other person I would dedicate my life to–"
"Siegfried? I wasn't–"
"–even if you are stripped of your noble title. You are my only Mistress, and I'm not saying this just because of my sense of knightly duties, but it is also that–"
"–Sir Siegfried, if you would just–"
"–I care for you. It doesn't matter if other people look down on you, you are important to me. To me, you are the one most deserving of–"
"Siegfried! I wasn't finished with my order!"
That shut him up. Before I got side tracked in the carriage, dazed with my own thoughts and feelings, there was another thing I wanted to ask of him. Silly fool, didn't he hear the begining of an extended order before I fell into my own little daze?
"Siegfried, stand up right now or else the rumor of a fanatic knight pledging all his mind, body, heart and soul so passionately and romantically to his mistress won't only circulate with the commoners near here, it might even reach the estate." I gritted out, confident that the tip of my ears were turning red.
He looked around and realized that the commoners were whispering to each other, some ladies were even giggling. When he looked down, trying to hide the flush creeping his neck and face, I sighed deeply. Still, I noted that he didn't let go of my hand. Smiling discreetly, I gripped on his warm hand.
"Before I got sidetracked in the carriage, I wanted to tell you the other reason why you should accept the job. Siegfried, if you ever accept the position of being my brothers' spy, understand that I want you to spy them on me. Be my double agent, Sir Siegfried." I winked mischievously.
Siegfried was rendered speechless.