His grin fell, looking slightly taken aback at my request. Listen here chump, you're the one who said 'anything'. I held our stare as if trying to assert myself, making sure he sees that I'm not hesitating or playing any sort of games. I'm dead serious, Your Majesty. As you can clearly see.
"I beg your pardon? I thought you loved him to the point of no return." He asked me with a voice that dangerously fell a tone lower word by word.
I've faced the worst type of scums before, numbskull, you don't intimidate me the slightest bit. It's been only a day and I am already getting sick of playing the role of a gullible girl so blinded by nobility and wealth and love, so I won't put on an act. I'm not afraid of you. I just hate what our fate holds for us.
"I understand calling off the engagement is going to be humiliating for both parties, but I'm sick of it, Your Majesty. I'm so tired of being your sister's plaything, your brother's fool and your pawn. Before you try to get me executed for those things, remember you took an oath to be fair and wise. Killing me just because I want to escape whatever game you and your siblings are playing is what I call a lapse of judgment." I grew a pair of balls spontaneously just to spit these words right at his face.
I was spitting out words with spite. If I could breathe fire every time I open my mouth during a moment of anger, he would've been human charcoal. I just entered this life, the fact that I'm going to die in a span of five months is infuriating. I was wrongly killed in my past life, and to repeat that sort of thing in this life? I'll destroy the heavens and raise hell to stop it.
The Emperor seemingly caught on to it, the rage hitting him as if it was rolling out of my body like tidal waves. He narrowed his eyes at me like a lion locking on his prey, his hand getting close to my body. But still, I didn't move an inch when his palm rested on my throat. His grip on it was firm, not so hard that it could choke me.
I kept on staring into his eyes that didn't allude me on whatever he's feeling. I hated this type of guy the most, the ones who hides everything behind a hard front. I really was having a hard time figuring out this bastard until his hand moved up to caress my lower jaw. For fuck's sake, I can't with this guy. I really can't.
"You know what, I agree. Let's call off your engagement. That amateur couldn't possibly know how to handle a woman like you." His lips quirked up to a smirk and I had to hold down my gag reflex.
Really, was he really trying to say what I think he's saying? Is he suggesting that I break off my engagement only to be claimed as his affianced? I wanted to be a free woman, you dick, being the Empress for your empire is my worst nightmare! I slapped away his hand out of disgust.
"You're right, Prince Gerard couldn't possibly know how to handle me. Because I have no intention being handled by any men. Especially those who don't understand that I'm my own woman and that I could handle myself." I was practically seething in anger, then I got angry at myself for getting too angry because this bastard was actually enjoying it. So you have a taste for feisty women, aye?
Those women are exactly the ones you can never be able to attain.
"You're exactly the kind of Empress that I'm looking for. Strong, has an iron will, mentally resilient. You are the exact image that I see in my mind when does pesky Council Members ask me to imagine what my ideal Empress would look like." He stood up from his seat, looking hornier than a horndog.
If he starts straddling me, I'll obliterate his balls. I'm not kidding.
"So what? There are plenty of women in this capital alone that would fit your ideal Empress' description. I'm sure the Empire doesn't need a bastard like me on the throne." I gritted out.
"Ugh, save me the bastard talk. I'm a bastard too, conceived by my father and a dancer from the Middle East during a night of passion. Everyone knows it, because the rule at the time doesn't allow the Emperor to have a girl outside the Caucasian race as a wife. Now that a filthy bastard like me has slain the previous Emperor and Empress and conquered the whole continent, you thought everyone's perception of a bastard would change, no?" He–as I expected–straddled me and managed to pin both my hands and legs down so I wouldn't do anything to him.
Can you not? Rape is such a shitty thing that I really don't want to experience again. I struggled under him, but I stopped once I noticed that my sleeping robe is now forming a deep V neck down my chest. Ugh, this bastard expected this, that's why he just let me struggled although it was a hassle to keep my hands and legs pinned down. I hate him, I really hate this bastard right now and I would do anything to claw his eyes out at this moment.
"Your Majesty, you can break me in any way that you like, but I will keep rising back and oppose you no matter what. I won't let you claim me as yours when I've already refused and I'll do everything I can to make sure I'll stay liberated. I will bring down heaven and raise hell just so I never have to wear that stupid crown and sit on top of that throne!" I yell at him who was on top of me, wearing a smug expression as if he already won.
"Lady Emilia, may I ask why you despise at the idea of you sitting on that thro–"
"Because I despise my life at the moment! I hate myself because of my name! If only my father would just ignore me and my mother, I wouldn't have to get dragged into this life! My mother didn't know any better at the time but she didn't have to die because of the words the other nobles would say about her, how wrongly her stepsons would treat her, how difficult it was to prepare me to be a noble lady! If only I hadn't been born, she would still be alive." My voice broke, letting Emilia's true feelings coming through me.
"Do you know what it felt like to find my own mother hanging from the ceiling, swaying left and right like a broken doll? Can you imagine what I felt when I read her letters, telling me if only I hadn't been born, then her life wouldn't be so miserable. But at the same time she was sorry and saying that she left with regrets, because now I have to play along with you people all on my own! That's why I loathe all nobles alike and above, Your Majesty and your siblings included. I was foolish enough that for a brief moment, after I finally appeased your sister and got engaged with Prince Gerard, I thought I was safe from it all. From the vicious comments and spiteful stares. The baseless rumors and wrong treatments." I held back my tears, feeling Emilia's pain throbbing in my chest.
"You're right that I did love Prince Gerard, Your Majesty, but he treated me nothing more than a disposable whore. Even if I kept on loving him, you really think I should let myself be treated that way? And you commended me for saving your sister but I did it because if I left her alone, then I'd probably be hung by the morning. I did it to save my own skin, but even after getting skewered for it, it seems like it's just my shitty luck that I always end up at your feet, like some stray dog willing to do anything for survival." I ended with a sour note, noticing that his grip on both of my hands have loosened.
He had sat up and tucked his chin closely to his chest, not meeting my eyes at all. He quickly got off of me like I had repulsed him somehow, still avoiding to look directly at me. I just lied on the bed with my hands on my face, tired from everything that had happened today. Shopping for a pointless dress, arguing with the Prince and Princess, fighting some freaky humanoid puppets, getting pierced by a sword and avoided being taken advantage of by the Emperor.
I saw him silently walked towards the door. He opened it and stopped his steps for a second.
"I'll allow you to break off your engagement and also I... I apologize for my actions. I must've made you really upset, so in return, you may ask me another favour any time. Your family will pick you up tomorrow in the morning and again... I'm sorry for what happened just then. I'm not expecting you to forgive me."
I stared at his back before he walked out, the door automatically closing behind him. I sighed deeply into the silent night and turned my head to look at the full moon outside.
I thought I couldn't sleep, but I was beyond tired and immediately slipped into dreamland after I closed my eyes.
But my dreams weren't exactly pleasant that night.