With the glitches intensifying, I realized I was paralyzed.
'I can't even scream this time, you sadist bastard. Just stop it already.', I thought to myself.
A m*therf*cking hawk, the size of an airplane was gliding right at my face. The only thing going through my mind at the time, was 'holy shit, I'm going to die here'.
But, as luck does have it, the bird clawed through my glitching shoulders and lifted me in the air instead of ending my life on the spot.
'Now if only I evolved fast enough...'
"I mean, I guess that works."
Just as I made this statement, no, it did not work. It did not work at all. The hawk let go of its grasp, and I went tumbling down across the trees, into its nest.
After the tumbling, I landed right on my neck. And before I could feel the slightest sense of pain, the hawk was now actively chewing through my flesh.
'The nerve of the damn bird.', I thought this as it chewed through my nerves.
'Get it? It's chewing on my nerves, so in a sense, I'm referring to my own nerves in a way, because the nerves ain't mine anymore, its in the bird's mouth. The double meaning behind it, basically.'
'All things aside, I should not be making bad jokes at this point. I'll get back to dying.'
'Wait. Why can't I move?'
Before I could contemplate the situation, a yellow claw was coming down on my head.
"No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait!"
And so, my skull was crushed, and I died.
'Where the heck did my plot armor go?! Whatever happened to justice?' as the notion hit my frustrated head, I realized, I was already in the afterlife.
All I could see was the white light surrounding me, and in the center of my vision, a light even brighter, spoke, "Greetings, young one. Now, every once in a while, we do come across difficulties in the path of life. However, the obstacle in your way, was something you could not control. An error of the system."
"What? M*rgan Freem*n, is that you?!"
Then, in the most M*rgan Freem*n voice I ever heard, the bright light continued, "Huh? Who is this M*rgan Freem*n you speak of?"
"Nevermind that, what will happen to me now?"
"Now, you shall meet with the Elder Gods, and speak about your future reincarnation. Prepare yourself, young one."
And with a single click, the light around me, changed to a gloomy stone dungeon. I could feel my original skeleton form once again. In front of me, lied a single golden door, glistening as a source of light.
As the door cranked open, and I entered, what stood in front of me was... "a knight?"
Silver armor large enough to fit a man twice my size, stood in perfect posture. Its hands moved to take off the helmet atop its head, and the door behind me, closed. The room was just like the rest of the dungeon, with gray stone and algae across the walls.
Placing the helmet to the side of its head, in the most Italian accent, the knight spoke, "I am Lord Perry, the Platypus God."
As I paid attention to the knight, it was indeed, Perry, the platypus. The same blue head, and orange beak, but just ten times the size. I was beyond surprised, but some part of me knew, that that being had to have been a god in some universe. For it was truly, supreme.
I didn't dare interrupt the Platypus God, and so, it continued, "You rememba de time we reincarnated ya as a skeleton? Forget about it. Just forget about it. Now I'll send ya to a different place with different rules."
My awe turned to disappointment, "You can't do this to me..." and that, soon turned into anger, "YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED?!"
With my goal to explain what had happened, and how unfair this was, I continued, "I went through a damn dungeon, fought a dinosaur, a lion and a panther, ripped weird red and blue balls out of animals, dealt with a weird ass system, and you expect me to forget about it? Huh?"
Then, while casually flipping the bird, I continued, "Forget this, you sonvabich!"
Perry sighed, "Huff... I wasa gonna ask you how you knew of ma name, but I see that we'll be havin' this conversation alater. Now, you must reincarnate once more, for there is another world to save."
"Wait... what?" Just as I said this, I blipped into the darkness of what I believed, was another dungeon.
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Species: ???
Title: ???
Level: -
Rank: -
Status: Unknown
Soul Count: -
Pet(s): -
Skills: -
Equipment:
Swords: -
Armor: -
Shield: -
Tools: -