I went into the bathroom, not closing the door just in case I take off my jacket and shirt. I was in a bra and pants showing my injuries I took care of my arm first there was a huge gash in it bleeding and bruised. I was surprised I could move it. I grabbed a cloth a rudding off the blood on my arm and dabbing the injury, that was bleeding badly and wrapped my arm carefully. all you could hear from me is sting noises and me trying to not scream to not get the others worried. As I got to my stomach, I knew I couldn't do it myself so I grabbed my bandage wraps and jacket. I went to shiro's room because I know hunk and pidge would be worried and crying, maybe puke, and keith would get angry for not telling him. I know Shiro will lecture me for not telling him, but he will understand. As I got to his door and knocked he came to the door. "What will you like lorance?" he asked, staring at me. "Can we talk?" I asked, looking down. "Sure come in" he said, moving to the side as I walked in. I gives him the bandages, he looked confused then I started taking off her sweater he saw my bra and blushed. He turned around partly yelling, "What are you doing?! Your not wearing anything under the sweater!" he blushed, "SHHH they will hear you and I have a bra on!" she yelled at him. "BUT STILL" he yelled, I just sighed. "I just need your help" I said, looking down I knew this was a bad Idea. "Sorry, I will leave if you don't want to?" I said, about to walk out putting on my jacket. "No it is ok, come here." he said, she walks over "What do you need my help with?" he asked, still blushing I starts pulling off my jacket again. He starts blushing like a madman but keeps staring at it to not be rude. When I took off my jacket he saw her stomach. "Can you turn around" he says so she did. "looks like you hurt your back too how is your arm it looks like it is bleed through. You should have told me." he says worried, "I will be fine, it is not the first time these things have happened" she said, he looked worried at what I said. Making me mentally curse myself. "Ok, let me help you with that." he unrolls the bandages and knees down so he can bandage it for me. He wraps the bandages slowly and carefully as I hissed in pain try not to scream as a couple of tears fill as he wrapped me put. Which he noticed, it broke his heart he thought 'It's all my fault that she got hurt' he thought. I saw the sadness in his eyes and guilt. It hurt her, she didn't want him to be feel guilty. I smile at him as he finished wrapping stomach. He stands up and sits on his bed, a little sad I grabs his face with my hands gently. "It's not your fault it is all mine and at least your not hurt we need you more. I'm tough enough to get through this okay." I said staring into his eyes. "I'm sorry." he said, as a couple tears fell. "I TOLD YOU IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!" I yelled at him, I pulls him into my chest he starts blushing because his face is in my boobs, I pulls away with a little blush, I left the room forgetting my sweater in his room. She was out there in bandages, a bra, and pants she bumped into keith he blushed as she got up. I flinched in pain and went into my room and sat down on my bed. The silence was sickening, making me remembers my dad, I remembered a song I remember, I will sing it while think about him.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
All of me... me... me...
Tears ran down my face. I always love that song, I sang it at his grave all the time. I wipe the tears and lay down carefully. I heard a knock on the door I got up and open it, it was pidge he was crying. "Hey pidge, are you ok? come here," I said, bringing him into a hug, stroking his hair. I close the door and picked him up and laid on the bed with him laying on top of me, even though it hurt it was okay. "Sorry, I heard you sing in a really nice voice and the song reminded me of my brother and father." he said, crying into my chest. I hummed stroking his hair. "Can you sing again I like your voice" he asked, she hummed in response.
I just need to put myself first
I'm always trying my hardest not to pick myself apart
This energy's killin' my vibes now
Sometimes I just wanna to drown out
All of the thoughts in my mind
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
I wonder if I'm good enough
I'm drowning up my sorrows
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
Wish I could erase my memories, so I could stop feeling so empty
I wish that shit wasn't so tempting
But it's hard to resist when there's plenty of things I could do to fuck me up
I want to let go, but I'm feeling so stuck
So all I can do is fill up my cup
And sit here alone hoping no one disrupts
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
Yeah I'm fucked up but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I'm good enough
But maybe I've had just too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I'm drowning up my sorrows
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I'm empty inside, yeah I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too to die
Yeah I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
My body's shaking
But I'm empty inside, yeah I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
As I sang the song he drifted off to sleep I picked him up and went out of my room carrying pidge bridal style. I saw keith and shiro, standing outside my door, I smiled, "One second." I said, I walks past them and walked into his room, put him in his bed tucking him in, I kissed his forehead. "Good night, pidge" I said, walking over to the boys. "We didn't know you can sing like that." keith said, I smile at them. "What can I do for you guys?" I ask them, smiling. "I'm here to return your jacket." shiro said, blushing handing me my jacket. "Thank you," I said to him, putting on my jacket on. "I will see you guys tomorrow." he says leaving, keith looks angry. He pulled me in the room, "Don't go around in those clothes it makes you look like a skank and what were you doing with shiro?" he said as she bumps into the wall and Keith was holding her neck, making pain rush into her. "I can do whatever, mullet." she said, "tsk" he said, tightening his grip. "Stay away from Shiro." he said in a threatening voice. "Why, is he your boyfriend or crush." I teased, I made sure to not shake and cry. "You bet shut up, Idiot. before you regret it." he said in a deadly tone of voice. "Fuck off." I said, nonchalantly. Pissing him off, he growled, punching me in my wounded spot on my tummy. Making me grip my teeth, grunt scream, cough up blood in my mouth. "Fucker." I said, punching him in the face. He got angry and gripped my neck making me choke but not show it. "We will finish this another time." Keith said, letting go of my neck. My door open and he left and the door closed and I fell on the floor from sliding down the door, coughing and heavy breathing. Thank god they did not see the scars on my arm. I hate that pity from shiro and coran, I don't hate them. It is just the pity that bothers me. I don't want them to pity me, I want them to be happy when they see me. I can't allow them to be hurt or sad they need to be strong I need to take their burdens away from them, I will take their burden I'm the worthless one. I don't have the right to be here, keith hates me, and they were already calling me names early it hurts, I'm so pathetic and worthless. I deserve none of the nice things they are doing for me. I don't deserve blue and the people who care about me. They always leaves so no one can care for me I will protect them their happiness and make them love themselves they deserve the world they are to nice. I sorry for being a burden to them I made him help me, made keith angry, and made pidge cry. I start crying. "I'm sorry."
I bet you don't curse God
When the doctor calls
With a stern voice and the test results
And he asks you to come in right away
I bet you don't curse God
When you're on a plane
In a turbulence, pourin' rain
And you're hoping that you'll make it out okay
Everybody cries
We've all faked a smile
When your back's against the wall
And your hands are tied
There's pain, Life hurts
There's a thousand things
You think you don't deserve
All hope is lost
When You spend it all
And you just can't beat the odds
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God
When your child is gone
And he ain't picking up the phone
And it's 2am on a Saturday in July
I bet you don't curse God
At your bottom line
And your credit cards are all declined
And you don't know where you're gonna sleep tonight
Everybody cries
We've all faked a smile
When your back's against the wall
And your hands are tied
There's pain, Life hurts
There's a thousand things
You think you don't deserve
All hope is lost
When You spend it all
And you just can't beat the odds
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God
When you're dying in bed
About to take your one last breath
And you're holding on before you say goodnight
There's pain, Life hurts
There's a thousand things
You think you don't deserve
When all hope is lost
When You spend it all
And you just can't beat the odds
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God
After that I fell asleep on the ground, with tears falling down my face. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.