Mufasa's POV
While I was distracted by all the events that took place inside my body, something next happened around me that caught my attention.
While my eyes are closed, I can feel yellow energy all around me.
I should be afraid, but the feeling of being surrounded by it is so relaxing! I didn't know, but at this point I was already induced by some trance.
For a few moments I feel connected to the ground around me.
"My God ... how crazy is that !?" Surprised I exclaim internally.
I feel that something inside me leads me to follow my meditation method and I do so.
Focusing my attention on the point between my eyebrows I soon see what has changed inside me ...
In my mind the image of a luminous vortex in yellow colors is automatically projected!
I knew it was not imagination ... I just knew!
Before it took me a while to imagine a luminous blue vortex, but it was not as sharp as that yellow light is now.
This is not imagination, this is an image printed on my conscience!
I follow what I always did, so I mentalize this vortex by spinning. When I do that, all that yellow energy around me starts to furiously dip into my forehead!
If before I was comfortable with those yellow lights now, as soon as I entered the vortex between my eyebrows, I feel so close to her that I could be one with the same.
And I give myself to it!
When I do that, I feel like being the energy and vice versa!
It feels so impa ...
That energy runs through my veins and arteries!
I feel it circulate all over my body ....
My heart starts to beat strongly! The blood circulates furiously!
I feel a lot of pain in the abdomen, it starts to burn!
I was drunk and it wasn't me at that time.
The energy accumulates in my abdomen! It circulates and solidifies.
That energy mixes with my blood!
What was once a yellow sphere is now brown!
From this moment on, I know that I am more than I was before ...
Finally this trance is over and thousands of thoughts flood my head and I start to panic.
I am afraid of what this whole situation could be and what it could cause me.
I'm not rationalizing anything anymore!
Right now I am a mess of conflicting thoughts and logical and controversial fears.
And at times like this you know you start to discover your deepest fears.
I try for a moment to think logically.
"If that is what I am finding ... then I am in a world with magic. And from what I have seen in novels and sleeves, what is in my abdomen is a nucleus or datian ..." After leaving this trance , I analyze what is happening to me and come to a conclusion.
"FUCK THAT HAPPENED! I AM NOT ON EARTH, RIGHT IN A WORLD OF GROWERS! HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAH!" I indulge in a moment of emotion and madness. I start laughing manically and the laughter turns into desperate cries!
If there are people around me, and I know there are, then you will see that my face is contorted between a smile and tears.
Then I scream the loudest I've ever screamed!
My heart starts to beat really fast! Making things worse than they are!
I cry uncontrollably and do not even realize that I am now in the arms of my new mother.
Panic doesn't let me breathe properly.
Between moments of breathlessness and all this madness, I find myself helpless. Because as far as I know about these worlds of cultivators everyone is a lot of crazy, arrogant people, with no sense of morals and other shit ...
And I am a person who is blind ... "a waste in a world of cultivation"
"I'm screwed...
All of these thoughts and conclusions quickly and simultaneously flood my head. A flood of fears and anxieties!
Then I faint from insufficient oxygen ....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a while I woke up. I don't know how much time has passed. Do not give members to know the days that pass in this shit of life.
If I were a soap opera character I would be jumping with happiness for being able to cultivate.
Be happy for the possibility of being immortal! Have the ability to fly and have powers that go beyond ridicule!
But I'm not a fucking xianxian character!
I wanna go home!
Shit world! Blindness shit!
From the moment of the elemental awakening ceremony, I found myself in a much greater denial of my reality.
But that is not the worst part.
The panic increases after remembering all the things that were left behind after my death.
My mother, my family, my love, my life ...
I didn't know, but that situation was a trigger to open some things that I was not prepared to pass.
Our brains do that. We go through traumatic situations and the brain sometimes keeps the memory of the emotions that it felt with that.
Often these traumas add up and become a mess of fears that are stored in the subconscious.
This with other factors causes anxiety attacks to arise. Crises of fear for something that we do not understand the origin.
In the worst cases, these accumulations of fears, anxieties and other factors cause depression to arise!
The evil of the century!
(Author: One day I heard that more than 70% of the ills that harm our health can be psychosomatic.)
Coming back ... in this moment of panic, my brain opened the trigger of emotions and certainties that I did not want to pass on and accept about my death.
You are wrong to think that being born with your memories intact would be a good thing.
Where did your traumas, fears, anxieties, habits go? Wouldn't you think that a person who is living happily in his daily life would not feel desperate if he saw that overnight he wakes up in a reality totally different from his?
Of course he would be, even if that person had anguish, fears, traumas and dissatisfactions in his life.
And from this moment on for a long time, in this new life, I found myself in an abyss of madness and melancholy that changed the way I see the world that I am now.
From this moment on, I will be shaped by this suffering.
My first and most decisive ordeal!
And then I understood that the suffering I went through was for me to understand that:
I own my own life! What happened and what will happen to me will not define me!
I can be everything or I can be nothing!
I will live beautifully!