I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I shouldn't stay around in Lindis anymore, since now I know the people here are the ones who destroyed my family and my home. But, if I am to leave, then... Where can I even go? Back to the ruins of the Forest of Magic?
I really want to be together with Mina, even for a while longer, but I can't take it. I want to get out of this place. I also can't just let Mina accompany me, when I wander around aimlessly, without a home.
Seriously... What can I even do now? I feel like no matter what I do from here, it's all meaningless.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Mina."
My headache's going away, and I feel slightly better now. How long has it been? Like, 30 minutes? Mina's been really quiet and patient with my crying, and being with her is comforting.
In the end, she's the only person who's been kind to me. I can't even trust those people anymore, those people running this orphanage. Especially not Selena and Maria. Those two were being kind to me at first, but soon afterwards, their treatment of me is just horrible. Just thinking about them makes me sick.
"Um... M-M-Mimin...? Is th-this... your bloodlust?"
Wait, not like this! I can't be thinking about that now, I'm going to end up scaring away my only friend!
"I'm sorry, Mina! I didn't mean to... I'm sorry. Please forgive me..."
"Ah... It only scares me a little, but... More importantly, are you sure you're fine? Aside from being sick, you don't seem to be in a healthy state of mind..."
I know that, I know that! I just... I can't feel anything but negative emotions now, and I don't understand why. I guess I even ended up leaking bloodlust from having killing intent. Nothing is going right for me now, and I'm afraid of that.
"A-Anyway! You're probably thinking about Selena, Daius, Sen, Arnold, and Maria now, aren't you?"
"..."
Somehow, hearing those names makes me dizzy. It's just a little bit, and I guess that's how much I'm already starting to dislike those people, huh?
"If that's the case..."
Even though I didn't say anything, I guess it's still clear to Mina that I'm starting to dislike them. She starts thinking to herself about something.
"I guess... Now that I know your story, maybe I should tell you about mine?"
"Eh? What's that about?"
All of a sudden, Mina is going to tell me about her past? Why is she telling me this now?"
----------
"Before I start, can you promise me something, Mimin?"
"Yes, sure. What is it?"
I probably shouldn't be making a promise before I even hear it. But, since it's Mina, I'll trust her.
"In any case, promise me that you won't do anything to Selena, Daius, Sen, Arnold, and Maria."
"..."
Why shouldn't I? Those people didn't care about me, about how I feel. They've never truly cared for me, for my well-being. Why shouldn't I repay them for what they did to me?
"Your bloodlust earlier... No, even now, you still have killing intent towards them, don't you, Mimin?"
"...How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"I can take a few guesses."
And, what's Mina doing now? She's completely changed in character. She's not like the Mina that I know, but instead she's acting more like Selena does. I don't like this at all.
"Why can't I do anything to them? They're related to the ruin of my family! And with how they're treating me so badly, they're not fit to be managing this orphanage anyway!"
"Calm down, Mimin. Listen to what I have to say, first."
I hate this. Why is Mina doing this to me now? Why is she acting like Selena? Why is she against me? I thought she's supposed to be my friend!
"You're misunderstanding too many things now. I don't think I can convince you otherwise, with you being in this state now, but... Please, at least think about the orphans, and think about me."
"What... What do you mean by that?"
I don't know. I don't know anything now. I just want to do what I can, to make myself feel even a little bit better. But, why? Why am I feeling so many negative emotions? Is there something wrong with me, after all?
"If you do end up killing Selena, Daius, Sen, Arnold, and Maria, what's going to happen to the orphanage? Who's going to take care of everyone?"
"...I don't know. I didn't think this far ahead."
"For a short moment of satisfaction, are you really going to destroy another family? Making 42 orphans, including me, lose their second family that they currently have. Is that what you want, Mimin?"
"!"
What's wrong with me? I can't make all of them go through what I'm experiencing now...
"Ah... s-sorry, I've... said too much."
Mina reverts back to being herself, and continues talking in her normal tone of voice.
"Besides... You're misunderstanding a lot of things. Those people, they aren't involved in anything related to the Silverwolves and White Foxes...
Also, they're all really k... kind people! Even if you don't like them, just look at everyone... All 42 orphans, including me... You've only been here for today, but... Do you think that, we're being treated badly, in any way? Don't you think that that's showing something?"
"...Yeah. You're right."
What am I thinking... I shouldn't have killing intent in the first place. I'm being really foolish to Mina now, aren't I? And, to think that I even considered doing something that can make so many people, including Mina, homeless again. I'm a horrible person...
"I've... definitely said too much. Let's not think about any of that for now, alright? Here, Selena prepared food for you. It's probably... already cold, though."
Saying that, Mina passes over a plate to me and takes a plate for herself, which is supposed to be for dinner, it seems. I didn't realize that the sun is already setting, by the time I regained consciousness.
"Have you not eaten yet, Mina?"
"No... I was waiting for you. Now then, let's eat."
Sure enough, the food's gone cold already. Well, like Mina said, I'll try to not think about anything, for now. If all that I can think of is negative things, then not thinking about anything will help.