Inside her room, little xi sat sadly on her bed facing the dump floor, she was so sad that she made her mother unhappy but what to do that stupidest cockroach grazed her and she felt itchy and only after washing-up she felt relaxed.
I am not like Mercy that bitch said xi in her childish voice, which would be funny to hear the word bitch coming from a child that too in such a babyish voice.
The little girl's memory went back to the night were that snake Mercy and her father was chuckling outside while the little xi was sitting with her sick mother who was sleeping and was unaware of her current surroundings, the girl only felt something was wrong but didn't understand what it was,
little xi came out of her daze, and she firmly said, I would never be like Mercy in any lifetime or any situation, to be dead is better than being like her, I hate such people there was determination, disgust, confusion, sadness all mixed in the little girl's face.
But little xi at that time didn't know she was wrong the whole time and was believing lies and would get heartbreak in the future.
Also what she didn't know was emotions, feelings, and life itself is a ballon, once you overpour something like xi's mother was doing now emotionally manipulating xi with Mercy and making her daughter do things according to her own wish and keeping her in control like most of the parents out there want to, it is wrong just because parents give birth to the kids doesn't mean the kids should be under their control because in doing so they will lose their kids, too much love from the kid will turn into too much hate,sometimes even hate is ok ,it still is a feeling sometimes kid's feeling became numb towards their parents, because when they look onto their memories all they can see is their parents controlling them and manipulating them like how Ziyi said only bitches will scream seeing a cockroach it was a pure lie to keep her daughter to her control more like keeping a robot when some peoples are scared of cockroaches some are scared of spiders this is also a common thing in adults much less a child like xi being scared of cockroach , ziyi didn't even think what will , xi think of her mother lying to her about only bitches being scared of cockroach in the future when she is more matured, no ziyi didn't think of it, she will not even remember that the thing like this happened because the only person to remember it will be xi, not only her young memory will be fresh but also because she was emotionally manipulated and traumatized and was too cautious not to resembel Mercy , When she knows about all this in the future all she will remember was how her weak and sore spot was used to get manipulated not by someone else but by her own mother by that time xi will hate her younger self for being so dumb and would refuse to believe her mother in the future even if her mother said it for her own good , the above incident could be seen on a positive note that ziyi doesn't want her daughter to be scared of anything so she used mercy's name to have a effective reaction because, ziyi knew that mercy was a pain in their life but won't the future xi ask , mom you could have told that , xi you shouldn't be scared of cockroaches if your sacred of this little insect what will happen when you enfcounter more troubel in the future at that time whatever explanation can be given but it would be void , because,
''Life, emotions, and feelings are balloon when too much air is blown into it more than the balloon could hold, it will burst out, likewise, once you pour too much of emotions and feelings into a person's life everything will burst out.
Then that person's life will be emotionless, there won't be any feeling they came smile outside but they knew it very well they are completely numb inside.
Xi looked at the white wall where the cockroach was sitting and was wondering,
my room is super clean were would that bloody cockroach would have come from, xi started thinking, and slumped into her bed tiredly, it was then her mother called her for dinner, xi had always been unhungry she can live without food for some odd reason or you can say that she rarely feels hungry,
come and eat her mother, said
mother I do not feel like eating said, xi
by this time her father had already returned and was sitting in the centre of the dining table like that of a master that he was, the man had dark hair, his facial features being prominent, he looked like a handsome man in his early thirties.
xi's mother first served her father his food, when xi refused to eat she started feeding her like feeding a baby but the difference was it was a large amount of food for the currently nonhungry xi, the food was so spicy for the soft little tongue of xi as the food was made according to her father's taste so she started gulping water to soothe her tongue at one point her mother took the water glass from the little girl's hand and kept it away from the little girl hand's reach and started narrating her husband about the cockroach story looking at him while feeding little xi at the same time and man had zero expression on his face and didn't say anything about the matter while xi didn't seem to mind anything while trying to get the water from the other end of the dining table but the poor thing's little hands didn't reach that long and she was hissing like a snake due to how spicy the food was, in between Ziyi's complaint . . .
hick-up . . . . hick-up . . . . hick-up . . . .
The little xi started hicking - up due to the spicy taste of her food, her little round eyes teary and her little soft nose started watering due to the spiciness, she could feel her tongue along with her throat burning it is almost like she will spit fire like a dragon soon due to the hot spicy food and her ears felt like smoke coming out of it.
Mother, please give water it is so spicy said the little girl pitifully,
so her mother made her get a little sip of the water.
And the little girl started drinking more water as her hiccups did not stop, only then the hick-up stoped and soon Ziyi started feeding the little girl with spicy food again but this time there was no more cold water, the hot water assaulted the little girl's soft buds on her tongue once it made contact with it as she again took the water due to spiciness but when she realized that the water was hot she stopped drinking it, as she knew it assaulted her already pitiful tongue, so she started begging her mother to stop feeding her, but to no vain indeed.
mother, please stop feeding me, there is no space left in my stomach said xi while pitifully looking at her mother,
there are only three spoons said her mother made a large single spoon of food this is for mother's sake, the next one is for the father and the last one is for the baby that is you said Ziyi,
xi ate the first spoon and said if you give me one more spoon I will vomit mother said xi her eyes had already become teary as she was begging her mother,
but the lady didn't listen to the girl and fed all the three spoons soon after the last spoon went inside the little girl's stomach through her oesophagus her throat started burning, the little girl's face paled deathly, the girl started walking around to soothe her body and went far from the dining table at one point the girl's head started becoming heavy and dizzy her backbone automatically bent without the girl realizing it while the man was eating peacefully on the dining table and Ziyi took food for herself in her plate, the little girl could no longer walk properly her body was going against her wish, the girl has already sensed what was going to happen then after, as this feeling was not foreign to the little girl, she knew it as she had suffered from the same situation at least twice every month, she didn't know why it was like a ritual and she has to suffer from this, many times.
the girl could no longer walk so the little girl started circling, circling, circling, and circling, At one point the girl's already dizzy head became even dizzier, her big eyes started becoming dark her surroundings darkened, she slowly called for her mother but she could not form the word mother, as it came out ammiao , ammiao ,ammiao and PUKE...