Carla's POV
My head feel light and on cloud nine. Why do I end up drinking again last night? Then I have to drink early in the morning to just add how pathetic I am. I told myself since last month, since that day, that I ain't doing this again. But I just suck and more pathetic than I was so yeah, I end up drinking. Again. I saw the time on my alarm. Its already 10pm. The time he will get back home from one of his many part time jobs and preparing to sleep. This were the time he will call me, saying he got home safely. That he was missing me. And making plans for our anniversary. Speaking of, the day after tomorrow will be our 8th anniversary. Why did he have to hurt me? When can I go back to where we was both happy. Why did he have~
Then my screen flashed and answered it instantly, maybe his calling me.
"Hey! When do you plan your ass to get here?" Angie ask. One of my new found friends. Just partying every night, gave me a LOT of company.
"I'm getting ready okay?" I said then got up and went directly to my bathroom.
"Getting ready as in just starting to move cause you freaking forgot about the party or getting ready as in already ready but still looking at yourself on the mirror, kind of ready?" I laugh.
"Ha-Ha. Letting ready as getting ready. I'll be there within half an hour" I said assuring her.
"Bleh. You forgot! Your gonna pay the consequence for that, ya know?" She said gleefully.
"Whatev." Then I hung up. After getting ready with a silver short dress and some light make up. I grab my purse and phone and keys.
"Where are you going?" My brother asked. I just rolled my eyes on him.
"Just out. Don't wait up. I'll be late." I said as I walk faster to not be interrogated.
"Carla Angela" he said sternly. So I rolled my eyes once again before turning around looking at my big brother. Fake smile plastered on my face.
"I'm just going out. I wanna enjoy night life before the freaking school starts again, okay? I'll be fine." I said while smiling sweetly.. not.. with him. Can't he just let me breathe.
"Come on Carla. Nothing good gonna happen if you keep on sulking because of that douche right? Your better off without him." I wish I could say the same. But I just nod and smile widely. Sheez. I'm hurting my cheeks for the fake smile. He just sighed.
"Fine. I'm just letting you do whatever you want and not telling dad and mom because school doesn't start until 2 weeks now. But until then.." But I cut him off.
"I know. I know" and went outside before he lecture me to death, again. Got to my car and started the engine. And when I'm already in front of the bar. I parked and got out leaving my purse underneath my seat and put the keys and phone under my bra. Well let's face it. Its ugly when I'm drunk. I tend to forget things. Well except him of course.
"Hey bitches! Let's party!" I shout at the group of girls I found near the entrance. My new friends.
"Heya there, bitch!" Wilaine said and slapped my butt. Well every girls does. Weird greeting right?
"Yay! Now the spies girls are complete." Razel shrieked, jumping up and down. Well, were more than 3 so were not literally the spies girls. Were 7 in total but she loves that cartoon that's why. And then everyone started yelling and shouting, so I just join them. Why? For no reason at all, we just wanted to be louder than everyone else. So we can attract more people. More people attracted means more attracting men will be attracted. Well, that's what they told me.
We keep partying like.. well, like wild animals just out of our cages. Well, for one, we've been drinking like some funnel were on our mouths. Well at least that's what I feel on me. I been drinking all night long. And I know I shouldn't do this. But I can't help it. Well I think that I'm already drunk then my hands like have minds of their own. When I took my phone out, its already 3-fucking-morning. But what the hell. So I decided to text him, I just wanted to say hi. Fine, I ain't just saying hi. Then I heard Erica reading my text.
"Hey babe. Sleep already? I know your probably tired cause well you worked your nice ass off, always. But I just wanna inform you that I'm at some bar. JUST GIRLS NIGHT OUT, okay. Nothing to worry. Anyways, can you come pick me up? I think I drunk a whole effin bottle of vodka. Anyways, you can rant the hella out of me later. Just don't be mad, okay you can be mad, but not that mad, mad. I know you get me even tho I don't make sense specially right now I'm drunk. I'm totally not making more sense. So take care and always remember I LOVE YOU. With all of ME. Love ya! Never getting tired of showing and saying that also. Love ya!" She said then took some breath and then smile wickedly at me.
"Aww. That's so sweet. Is that Leon your texting?" She ask gleefully. Probably because she's over drunk.
"Ow. I'm willing to give sexual favours to know the reaction of that bitch when she read that." Afril says still dancing. And they laugh and agreeing with her.
"I'm just going to the washroom." I stated and then walk there pushing everyone on my way. They think I'm just doing that for revenge. To somehow make them fight. I wish that's what I'm really doing but no. I'm doing that because I still love him. Hoping he will remember how we was. Hoping he will recall that I'm still here. That I still love him.
When I'm inside the bathroom, I looked at myself. Maybe these mirrors are broken or cursed even. Cause why does my reflection crying? Why will she cry? I touched the mirror, trying to wipe her tears. But no matter what, she won't stop. She kept crying a river. Why did he need to freaking cheat on me? Why did he even need to fuck some freaking girl with a freaking ugly face. Why did he need to freaking hurt me? Don't he freaking know that I'm freaking hurt right now. That freaking asshole. Freaking jerk. Freaking freak. Freaking fuck.
Why do I have to feel this? Why can't I just move on? That fucking freaking asshole jerk had. I just saw him, with his freaking whore. They're fucking happy. Why can't I be happy? I wiped all the tears and wash my face. I went outside and went straight to the bar, I don't wanna feel alone, I don't want to sleep alone. If he can do it. I can also do it.
"Margarita please" I told the bartender then serve it immediately.
"Hey miss. Your alone?" A man asked, standing beside me. I drunk my margarita. And look at him again. He have the same Leon's scent.
"No. Having a girls night. You?"
"Cool. Same with the boys." And he smiled. Like Leon smile. I smiled at him.
"So, wanna meet the girls?" I asked.
"Sure. I'll bring the boys." I stood up and he lightly touch my elbow to help me up. He is a gentleman. Like Leon.
"Ok. That's our table over there." Pointing at the wild girls dancing. He just nodded and walk to a different direction so I went to the girls. And a little later, the 6 boys are now joining us.
I try to cuddle beside Roland, he really smells like Leon. We were just talking well, more like whisphering to each other. Then he started kissing my neck. I backed away. Leon doesn't do that, he hates PDA. He doesn't do these so I hurriedly stood up and went to the washroom.
I took my phone out, its already 4 in the morning but still he didn't reply. He didn't text me back. Its been an hour but nothing. I saw my reflection again.
Before, even tho his still sleeping, when I text him he will always textback even his only reply is 'I'm still sleepy' he will still text me. I try calling him. But it just kept in ringing. I washed my face again then went outside so I can go back to my friends and well, bid goodbye.
No matter what I do, I'll only love Leon. And I can't find Leon in any of them. I know I shouldn't do that. But he is the only person I can love. Before I can come closer I saw Roland, not patiently waiting for me, like Leon does. He is already flirting with Razel York already. A tear fell from my eye. Leon won't do that. Talk to my friends, yes. Joke around with them, yes. But he will never flirt with them. I took my phone out. And texted him.
'Why did you replace me?' After seeing my message has been sent, I waited for a minute but yet he didn't reply.
'Why did you forgotten about us, about me?'
'Why did you need to cheat on me?'
'What's wrong with me? Am I getting too fat or ugly? Why didn't you just said something, so we can fix it. I can fix me.'
'Why? Didn't you see nor feel the love I have showered you with?'
'Why did you taught me to love and to trust you but never to forget you?'
'Did I do something wrong?'
'I have given and dedicated my life to you. Why?' After so many messages sent, still I got nothing.
So I went directly to the exit. I'll just text the girls later. Why can't I move on? Why can't I love someone else?
"Carla?" I stop at my tracks then turn around to see my best friend, Destiny. I ran to her and cried my heart out.
"I'll drive you home." She said then took the keys from my hand. She sits me on the shotgun and went around to the driver's. She started the engine and turn the radio on. I kept crying while when I met you by Apo Hiking Society plays. Our theme song.
"You know that you must move on right?" I didn't answer.
"He already moved on, Carla. Remember Rei told us he got married last month, and we also saw that on his account." Still I didn't answer and continue to cry.
"Its already four freaking years Carla. You should forget him. You gotta move on and live your life. Move forward and stop living in the past."
Yes. Its already four years. He needed to be away for two weeks because of his family are planning a reunion and I can't come because of school. But when he came back, he changed. His not that super sweet anymore but nevertheless still sweet and the same, I guess.
Then after one month, two days before our 4th anniversary, I wanted to surprise him cause I know I can't celebrate our anniversary because of our family gathering that will happen out of town, where my hometown is. I went to his pad but instead of him be surprised, I was.
His on his the bed, naked and a naked woman riding him. I ran as fast as I can but he went after me. And explained that she seduced him, he was sorry. He never wanted that to happen. He was just too weak cause he gave in to lust but it meant nothing to him, that he only loves me. That he can love no other woman than me.
And I believed him. I said I forgave him. And I'll give him another chance. Just let me think and forget those things I saw and when I'm back, we will work things out. He was thankful cause I gave him a chance and we part our ways happily. When I was on vacation for two days we were texting but on the third day before i leave my hometown, I open my Facebook account that I rarely do. A lot of messages were sent asking what happen with Leon and I? Why did we broke up and if I knew who was the girl but I didn't understand anything so instead I open his account. I was shocked. On his timeline, him and the girl were exchanging sweetnothings to each other, saying I love you's and such. I called him but he didn't answer. Instead I received a text from him. Saying he was sorry. That he no longer love me, that he loves her much much more than he did to me. I felt crushed, betrayed. But still, I never stopped loving him. Until now.
™FIN