I was 7 years old sitting in the doctors office.

Doctor: madam, sir I am sorry to inform you that your daughter has clinical depression

Mom: WHAT BUT HOW SHE HAS A PERFECT LIFE

Dad: SHE MUST HAVE TOLD YOU A BUNCH OF LIES SHE HAS NO REASON TO BE DEPRESSED

Doctor: I must ask you two to calm down depression isn't always caused by family issues. Hee depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in her brain I would suggest putting her on medication to help and getting her into therapy.

(So they are trying to drug me to be happy...)

Mom: no she doesn't need medication their nothing wrong with her

Dad: we can not afford this out insurance won't cover it.

~an hour later in the car ride home~

Mom: sweetie you got to stop being so dramatic

Dad: you just want us to look bad or is it attention which ever cut it out before I make you

Me: ...yes sir

~five years later in 6th grade~

Teacher: class we have a new student his name is Travis please be respectful to out new classmate Travis please sit next to Amber over there by the window thank you

Travis: yes ma'am

Me: great

~at the end of class~

Teacher: y'all may have the last 15 minutes to yourself please keep your voices down

I look out the window after I put my things up but my peace was quickly disturbed by a bunch of girls round Travis but he didn't seem interested and gave little to no reply to them they quickly catch on and leave him alone.

Travis: hey

Me: hi

Travis: so your name is Amber

Me: yep

Travis: those girls seem really desperate

I laughed

Me: their just a walking std to be honest

He laughs

Travis: your funny and cute

I blush a little

Me: woowww your so charming

I giggled

Travis: I know

~the bell rings~

Travis: until next time cutie

I rolled my eyes

Me: until next time Romeo

He smiles

He soon became my best friend and soon I started to catch feelings but how could I tell him that I'm not even close to good enough for him I'll just ruin his life like I did with my parents so kept my feelings in

~eighth grade~

I was walking down the hall minding my own business then I bumped into a boy

Me: omg I'm so so so so so so sorry here let me pick this up for you I'm sooooo sorry

Him: no no your fine here let me help

Me: I'm really sorry

Him: no your fine hey what's your name

Me: Amber and yours?

Him: Jake, Amber a pretty name for a beautiful girl

I laugh

Me: nah

Jake: may I get your number

Me: ummm sure

I gave him my number a mistake Wich I'll never live down a few months later he became my boyfriend a mistake that will never leave me he changed alot

Jake: I don't like you hanging around Travis or any of your friends

Me: what they are my friends am I not supposed to hang with no one but you?!

Jake: don't you ever use that tone with me ever again

He grabs my hair and pull it really hard then he puts his hand around my throat and pulls my face near his

Me: let me go!

Jake: your MINE you do as I say you got it

I say nothing

Things only got worse he would hit me all the time call me names guilt trip me manipulate me into doing things I didn't want to and I was stuck I ran away from home and he was the only place I was able to stay at I got tired my dad constantly putting me down all the time but by trying to get out of that bad situation I got myself in a worse one I miss my friends I miss Travis I miss the good times I used to have with them I wish Travis was here to help me I wish I didn't push them away but I was to embrace to tell them what was going on I wish I wasn't so stupid this is all my fault I tried to leave but Everytime I did he would threatened to kill his self.

I am stupid I am worthless I am nothing i can't do anything right I want to escape this pain I want to die I want to be happy I can't do this anymore

I pull out a razor one cut two cuts three cuts four cuts five cute six cuts seven cuts on my leg I'm crying in the bathroom floor I hear Jake come home I stop crying pull my pants legs back down wash my face and leave the bathroom back to acting.

Freshman year

No stop please stop I don't want this stop please stop no no no NOOO I cry

Three months later Jake broke up with me for someone else I am broken I apologise to Travis and my friends Anna, Andrew, Hannah, Lucas they accept my apologie we are friends again

~Sophomore year present day~

Travis: Amber hey let's walk to school together

Me: sounds fun