"FENTON OH JESUS CHRIST!"
Everyone watched with their mouths agape until the last shambling zombie disappeared from view after the civilian militia into the tree line. The enemy army continued looking into the horizon questioning life and the meaning of everything while on Kyle's side someone began giggling while trying to stop it which got everyone else going until the entire army was laughing raucously.
Kyle shouted over the top of this noise while keeping an eye on the enemy army who were now returning to a conscious state and their leaders were gradually getting red, well except emo man who was still twisted up clutching his balls.
"Maurice you're up I want all the civilians captured and contained."
"Cough...right you are boss man. EVERYONE LET'S GET MOVING!"
Maurice stifled his own giggling before ordering his team to mount up on their wolves and began hunting down the civilians who had disappeared from view.
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT US LIKE THIS YOU SHOULD BOW DOWN TO ME I AM YOUR BETTER KNOW YOUR PLACE SCUM."
This suddenly echoed across the soon to be battlefield. What was impressive was this was shouted without using mana to aid in the voice carrying. Looking at where the voice came from everyone saw this was from the slut.....female enemy leader on the other side and even her own people were either looking at her strangely or moving away while rubbing their hurt ears.
Kyle looked at her like an idiot before speaking quietly but with mana infused into his voice so everyone could hear it.
"Damn she's loud I pity the man who gets saddled with that harpy."
This made everyone on both side cough in an attempt to prevent laughing and even Mr Squarepants struggled to keep a straight face as he thought to himself 'she really takes after her mother'. The lady in question seemed to reach a level of apocalyptic rage right now and began shouting and screaming.
"JUST GIVE UP YOU CANNOT STAND AGAINST ME JUST LOOK AT YOURSELVES SCUM! YOU DON'T EVEN ALL HAVE SWORDS WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE CARRYING A FRYING PAN?"
Kyle looked at the enemy before looking at his people and it was true there was a real difference in their weaponry. The enemy consistently had great swords while on Kyle's side were a wide selection of different weapons including swords, axes, maces, flails, spears and halberds to name a few and there were a few people who chose specialist weapons.
One of these specialists was Elena who couldn't decide on what she should use until she saw Lauren (Ash's wife) swing a frying pan at Dylan when he once again put his foot firmly in his mouth. Elena on seeing this beautiful swing and parabolic arc Dylan made on contact decided this was going to be her weapon.
The quality of these various weapons were a far cry from what the other side could muster, the enemies weapons all seemed to be mass produced and as such even if the materials were adequate they couldn't match the quality of the weapons manufactured by Randell and his team who after Kyle had shown them the way had continued improving and experimenting in the new way Kyle had opened up to them.
This improvement of technique and understanding moved on without Kyle's direct influence so Kyle was able to concentrate on the things he needed to and the trickledown effect meant the blacksmiths in their territory began picking up on these techniques.
"I think you should look at the quality of your equipment before you question what weapons we use. Also I wouldn't make fun of the frying pan as I won't accept any responsibility for what happens after."
Kyle responded once again he also looked nervously at Elena who was now staring at the girl while caressing her frying pan. She really, really likes her frying pan and if you make fun of it well just watch out or you'll have a Lovecraftian nightmare hunting you down. Even Kyle would be worried about having an angry Elena after him.
This was the final straw and finally the enemy began moving on a signal from Squarepants a horn was sounded and they began moving forward with the weakest members in the front as some kind of shield or bulwark to tire out or weaken the frontlines.
"All units rain formation!"
Landon commanded making the frontlines break up slightly into units of ten with five front runners and four others covering the flanks with the final person in the centre. This was a strange formation from the view of the other side but they still pushed on it their wall formation which was a wide front with ranks made up behind them similar to how the Roman legionnaires operated.
As they approached Kyle's side broke into a jog closing the last hundred metres much faster than the enemy force expected, as they moved in the formation changed form with the centre front runner moving slightly ahead with the 2 on each side staggering the pace and the four covering the flanks pulling back and in slightly giving them a look of a raindrop if looked at from above but still there was the one in the centre strangely.
Kyle's team was made up of him as the front runner with his girls including Susan arrayed out on either side with four rando's picked from the army and Bruno in the centre. Alena didn't come with them as while she could fight as well as they could she specialised in medical and healing so she was on the back line if needed.
The 2 armies made contact with a resound crash and it could be seen how effective the rain formation was in comparison to the wall formation as when contact was made Kyle and the others managed to push through 3 lines before being tied up in fights but with the contact and the force behind the charge they managed to create a clear area around them behind the enemy lines.
The enemy commanders were watching from an elevated position and saw as the contact was made. Watching grown men being flung away dozens of metres and their lines collapsing wherever contact was made shocked them.
There were a few injuries but these people were covered by their teammates and they switched out with the flank supporters while they took pills and cultivated to recover their health and energy to the shock of the enemy who could only watch as their wounds closed up and healed in mere moments.
Kyle's team were stronger and more skilled than most so they didn't suffer any injuries and they had trained together for a long time and even the rando's knew how to work with everyone. Once the forward momentum had been shed Landon issued another command.
"Launch the idiot bomb."
When this command was issued suddenly the people in the centre of the formations were launched over the heads of the enemy this was done in many ways in Bruno's case he used a pillar of earth to launch but others used fire as a rocket or a jet of water to get the height required. Once they reached the apex they began dropping down using their chosen element as a shield to protect them on the way down.
One thing all these 'idiot bombs' had in common was that their weapons of choice were all large. Bruno had chosen a large double handed war axe which was over 6 foot long but there were also halberds, spears and even staff's mixed in.
Now the idea behind the idiot bomb came from a training session between Kyle and Bruno, Bruno had managed to push Kyle back with his heavier weapon and as Kyle was getting his footing Bruno had launched himself into the air with a large overhead swing. Kyle watched as Bruno misjudged the strength and sailed over his head, so while Bruno passed Kyle grabbed his ankle causing Bruno to face plant in front of his loving and supportive girlfriend Alena who laughed before saying.
"Well that's impressive dear you've made yourself into an idiot bomb."
Bruno didn't take exception to this and merely looked at Kyle.
"You know that's not a bad name."
"Yeah we just need to work on it a bit more."
So now here we are with multiple idiot bombs dropping from the sky with various war cries.
"Incoming!"
"Bonsai!"
"That's wrong moron!"
"Brace your booty!"
"Here comes Jack!"
As they came down the elements they used to protect them exploded out injuring the enemies how were around them and as they hit the ground they swung their weapons around them clearing another area.
The enemy didn't know where to look or attack and their lines began collapsing allowing the units to reform with their idiot bombs while the enemy scrambled back to reform their lines creating a gap between the armies once again.
They looked at each other across this new gulf with the Powell's army obviously the victor and the enemy numbers thinned a bit and now looking fearfully at them. As the lieutenants on the enemy side began trying to wrangle their people together again the music that was still being played by Kyle's illusions changed to a more upbeat song.
"What's that??"
Someone asked as they could understand the previous music with its aggressive and primal feel but this was out of place. Kyle paused for a second before grinning broadly.
"Yakety sax."