ZaiWin sighed.
That bastard MenTar had really filled his head with a lot of unnecessary information! He really wanted to punch him right in the face, right now!
On the other hand, he couldn't stop smiling, growing increasingly pleased with what he was hearing. Of course those were hardly the words he wanted to hear as a reply to his previous request. But it was rare of Snow to openly speak his mind like that, to show how sharp, mature and intelligent he really was.
As a result of his long-imprisoned life, Snow was shorter and looked to be frailer than most teenagers his age. In fact, in the beginning, both he and ZenTar had actually thought him younger than he really was. That added to the fact that he usually kept to himself, led others to see him as little more than a poor, lost kid. That he was allowing him to see beyond that well-kept facade actually made ZaiWin very happy.
"You're still a silly brat!" he told him, just to annoy him. "Haven't I told you before that I'm not interested in your blood or in your power?" he asked. Of course, at the time, he had also said he wasn't interested in anything that might come from him, which now wasn't completely true anymore. "Blame it on this damn link or on my plain stupidity. But I actually came to enjoy … your presence."
"Enjoy my presence …?" Snow repeated, looking honestly baffled.
"Fine. I kind of like you."
Snow frowned, his disbelief clearly increasing.
"Would it be better if I said I'm in love with you?"
The pale gaze that kept staring unwaveringly at him told him it wouldn't.
ZaiWin sighed, resting his head on one hand. It was probably like ZenTar had told him. Celestials just weren't made to understand or feel things like that.
"You know, it's not that easy to explain. I don't clearly understand it either," he confessed, and, somehow, this reply seemed to be better accepted. "But just think about your Sand. I know you didn't have a choice in the matter, since she looked after you since you were very young. But knowing her the way you do, if you could choose, wouldn't you want to have her by your side anyway?"
Snow nodded without the slightest hesitation, leaving a smile on ZaiWin's lips.
"You could say that my reasons are more or less the same as yours," he added. Well, of course ZaiWin's reasons were far from being the same, but that didn't really matter at the moment. Differences like that could be … understood and explored in due time.
Snow seemed to seriously ponder over his words and ZaiWin waited, once again.
"I am still not a thing that you can own!" he finally contested and ZaiWin nodded in agreement.
"I know. I'm not a thing either."
"But you'll still be mine."
ZaiWin laughed lightly and caressed Snow's soft cheek. But nothing could dilute the seriousness with which those pale eyes kept staring at him.
"If that's what you want."
Snow frowned and nodded resolutely.
"That's what I want."
The wide grin that spread across ZaiWin's face made him look like some fierce beast, and warm fingers touched Snow's lips, caressing his still swollen, reddened skin.
"Are you sure?" he asked in a low purr, his bright-blue eyes gleaming in a strange way that made Snow feel slightly uncomfortable. Snow's heart immediately responded in kind, beating faster inside his chest. "I am not an easy person to own."
Snow grabbed his wrist, his fingers barely able to surround it completely, and pulled ZaiWin's hand away from his mouth.
"Are you going back on your word?"
"No. Not at all. Just wanted to make sure."
"I told you before. I know who you are," Snow openly declared in a slightly critical tone, as if admonishing him from doubting his determination.
ZaiWin smiled and sighed.
"So you did. So does that mean you'll willingly stay by my side? Not because of some stupid bond. Or because you happened to kneel before me. But because you choose to."
Snow nodded, his gaze intent.
ZaiWin's smile widened, his blue eyes looking as if they had a light of their own.
"Words. How many times to I have to tell you to use …"
"I will," Snow interrupted him with an angry scowl. "I will stay by your side. I choose you of my own free will," he declared.
He'd thought that ZaiWin would be annoyingly proud of having things turn out the way he wanted, like it always happened in the end. But instead, the blue eyes staring down at him actually looked genuinely surprised, which made Snow feel slightly embarrassed.
"You will?"
"I already said so, didn't I? And get off of me! You're heavy," Snow complained, releasing ZaiWin's wrist to try and push him back again, but instead ZaiWin fell even more heavily on top of him, making him groan a complaint.
The hand still holding his squeezed him so hard that it was almost painful. And the way he buried his face on the base of Snow's neck sent shivers throughout his entire body.
ZaiWin's body was always warm, Snow had learned that a long time ago. And he always smelled good, Snow thought, closing his eyes, allowing his scent to envelop him. It was always strangely comforting and, at the same time, nostalgic, as if he'd missed that scent for a long time, even though he had never been aware of it. But his hot breath against his skin made strange things to his chest. And then it hit him. This large, strong, selfish man was his! His! When he had never had a single thing he could call his, his entire life. He didn't know what that really meant, but somehow the idea made him feel good, made him feel as if something that had been lacking had been finally put in place.
Rising his free hand, Snow touched the back of ZaiWin's head. A shame he had braided his hair. He rather liked the feel of his long soft hair in his hands. The skin at the back of ZaiWin's neck felt really hot, beneath his cold fingers. And then Snow slid his hand a bit lower, feeling the gentle movements ZaiWin made with each breath, until his fingers stumbled upon something that clearly broke the smoothness of his skin.
Slightly higher, it felt like a thin, straight line, Snow thought, tentatively tracing it. Had he failed to heal him completely even though they'd kissed more than once?, he wondered, feeling inevitably worried. But then the memory of the crisscrossed blackened lines he had glimpsed on his shoulder came back to him. Was that it? Had he seen right back then? But then ZaiWin had raised his head again, and those blue eyes were looking down on him. The unusual but beautiful smile that had played on his lips just a moment ago was completely gone, a cold, detached mask covering ZaiWin's face.
Snow swallowed dry, feeling more than a bit intimidated.
"Your back …"
The mouth that covered his kissed him so deeply that Snow couldn't even grunt a complaint. He'd been kissed by many people before, but never like this, as if the other person wanted to swallow him. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't keep up with it.
When his lips were finally released all Snow could do was try to catch his breath, but that devouring mouth attacked his neck instead, bitting his tender flesh. Snow jumped and tensed up, but the small pain was immediately gone and something hot and wet slid up his neck making him shiver.
"You said … you wouldn't do it … anymore …" he managed to breathe.
"And you looked extremely unhappy about it," came the whispered reply, ZaiWin's hot breath directly against his ear.
"That's not …" Snow bit down his lip when ZaiWin licked his ear. He was starting to feel dizzy again, his heart threatening to break free from his chest, something thick and warm flowing through his veins. He didn't understand what was happening but it felt good, although a bit scary.
ZaiWin looked down at that enthralled, blushed face and smiled.
He really liked seeing him like that. He liked even more knowing he'd been the one responsible for it. It felt deliciously wrong, that a Celestial could make such an enticing expression like that.
Touching Snow's soft lips, he leaned down to lick them, and they instinctively parted to let him in. Snow's small, hot tongue immediately looked for his, and ZaiWin gladly obliged his silent request. He really wanted to touch him more, to kiss him more, but he didn't dare. He'd be unable to stop himself if he allowed things to go any further than this. And although he might be strong-willed and stubborn, Snow was not only a Celestial, he was also just a kid. A kid who clearly had no idea about the meaning of what he was doing.
Releasing his lips, ZaiWin sighed and placed a long kiss on his forehead, which immediately allowed Snow to relax a bit. Looking down at the pale, bright eyes staring up at him in confusion, ZaiWin smiled, gently playing with a lock of his silver hair.
"Aren't you cold?"
Snow turned his face away.
"You're warm …"
ZaiWin chuckled and kissed the cheek that had been turned to him.
"And here I was, trying to come up with an excuse to get up."
Snow frowned and pushed his shoulder again.
"I already gave you one. You're heavy!"
ZaiWin nuzzled his neck, just below his jaw, and Snow cringed. With another reluctant sigh, ZaiWin let go of him and finally released Snow's hand, to pull himself up and away from him.
Feeling the cool air replace the warmth, Snow was suddenly very much aware that he was completely naked. Not that he hadn't been completely naked in front of him before, on more than one occasion for that matter. So it wasn't as if he felt embarrassed. Or at least he shouldn't feel embarrassed. But he was still quick to sit up, his face unexpectedly burning.
Rising his head, he followed ZaiWin's movements as he got up.
His pants were still wet, sticking to his long legs. And his bare feet looked really big. His long braid had become undone in some places, probably from the fight against the feimao. And then he couldn't help widen his eyes in disbelief, when ZaiWin simply turned his back on him, making his way to where he'd left their clothes.
A frightening, cold shiver ran through Snow's entire body. His back, even his shoulders, were covered in black markings. And although the light was too dim for him to clearly see them, and even though he was far from being an expert in daitai, he knew at a glance that something was terribly wrong with them.
Leaning down, ZaiWin grabbed Snow's cloak and calmly made his way back to him.
Up until now, ZaiWin had never undressed in front of him, Snow recalled, watching him the entire time. Of course he had long suspected that ZaiWin didn't want him to see his back. But now it was as if he had suddenly forgotten all about that. Which Snow knew could not be the case. Somehow, he had simply decided to stop hiding it from him.
His throat feeling tight, Snow couldn't look him in the face when ZaiWin bent forward and gently placed the cloak over his shoulders, making sure it covered his naked arms.
"Your clothes are still wet. I'll quickly jump back to the village and get you new ones. Will you be all right for a few moments?"
Snow nodded and ZaiWin smiled, ruffling his silver hair.
"There's still one last place I want you to see. I'll be right back."
Snow nodded again, his heart hammering against his chest. He didn't know what he would do if, in the future, his heart kept beating like that every time ZaiWin touched him.
The absence of his hand and the light sound of footsteps made him quickly raise his head to take another look at him. ZaiWin grabbed his ragged, bloody tunic of the ground, swiftly pulled it over his head and, in the next moment, was gone.
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I guess ZaiWin can't give any more than this 😊 He's really trusting Snow, now. Even though he hates Tien'Elhar 😊 Hopefully Snow will learn to trust him back as well 😊