Jumping back to the village, grabbing a change of clothes, and reporting that he had successfully gotten rid of the feimao that had suddenly appeared, didn't take ZaiWin that long. It was, however, enough to find the place where he'd left Snow empty, when he finally returned to the cave.
Quickly looking around, he found him not far from there, leaning against one of the hard, stone walls, and a sigh of relief immediately escaped his lips. Wrapped in his cloak, Snow had fallen asleep.
Well, of course he had fallen asleep, ZaiWin thought, crossing the space between them to crouch down in front of him. With his head leaning against the dark stone, Snow looked strangely comfortable, for someone who had fallen asleep against such a hard, cold surface.
Raising a hand, ZaiWin lightly touched his hair, then his face, but Snow didn't even stir. He had, after all, completely exhausted himself not too long ago. That he'd been able to actually wake up, before, only spoke to Celestials' ability to recover faster than normal people, be it their energy supply or from any kind of physical injury.
Slowly sliding his hand down Snow's neck, ZaiWin slightly parted his cloak to trace the long pale scare just below his collarbone, one of many scars marking his body. So those had been made by silver blades, he recalled, and couldn't help wonder if other Celestials shared the same weakness. He'd seen them wear jewelry made of silver on more than one occasion, which apparently, by the way Snow had reacted, he would never willingly do. But then it dawned on him that, even if they did have that same weakness, they probably wouldn't know about it anyway. For no one would ever dare to raise a blade against a Tien'Elhar, no matter the metal it was made.
With a smile playing on his lips, ZaiWin touched Snow's face again, lightly tracing his silvery eyebrows, slowly sliding a finger down the bridge of his nose, all the way to his lips. Snow looked really relaxed and innocently young. ZaiWin sighed, feeling his warm breath caress the tips of his fingers.
What was he doing?, he asked himself for the thousandth time and received only silence in reply. ZenTar's words kept echoing in his mind. But even if it weren't so, even if ZenTar was right and he was ... how had he put it? Infatuated with him. Did he really want to tie himself like that to that kid? Wasn't the inevitable link between them more than enough? Snow was just a kid! Sure, he was strong-willed, but he was still too young and too ignorant of the ways of the world. Not to mention that he was a Celestial. And, oh yeah, a male, as ZaiWin had had the opportunity to openly confirm on more than one occasion. In that regard, Snow was no different from any other man.
With the life he'd led so far, ZaiWin hadn't had the time, and to be honest, the will, to find himself a love interest. His life was just too complicated, too dangerous, to even consider allowing someone else to get that close to him. For one, anyone who would regularly share his bed would inevitably become a target for his enemies. And Heavens knew! He had a lot of those! One the other hand, he didn't feel like having to constantly look over his own shoulder, fearing he might be stabbed to death in the middle of the night. Not to mention his cursed blood, something he would never want to pass down to any possible future children.
When he'd been much younger he'd actually dreamed of having a family of his own, of somehow correcting all the wrongs of his own life by building a bright, loving home. He would promise himself that if he ever found a girl he loved, he would never leave her, he would never simply abandon her, like his father had done with his mother. He would swear inside his head that, if he ever had any children, he would always stick by their side, he would love them no matter their hair or eye color, and that he would protect them from the entire world.
He'd been too young, back then. Too naive. His mother had been right all along. Nothing was his, not even his own life. So there was no way he could ever have a loved one, or children of his own, or a warm family to welcome him home. ZenTar was all he had, the only one he could really trust. ZaiWin would have died a long time ago, if it weren't for him. ZaiWin's insignificant life was such a fragile commodity that it actually took two people to make sure it wasn't suddenly snuffed like a frail candle. Living from battlefield to battlefield, he had completely forgotten that, in that world that seemed to constantly want to deny his existence, there had been a third person to actually try his best to keep him alive. A small third person that had silently carried ZaiWin's weight on his tinny shoulders without uttering a single complaint.
ZaiWin smiled, recalling the small child that had watched over him throughout an entire night under heavy rain, that had cut his small hands to be able to feed him some miraculous root that would save him from certain death. Without him, ZaiWin wouldn't have lived to grow older than twelve. Snow had bound himself to him to save him. And for two entire months he'd done nothing but think of ways to kill him because of that. Talk about gratitude, he sighed, feeling deeply ashamed of himself.
Leaning forward, ZaiWin placed a kiss on the boy's forehead and smiled again when Snow mumbled something in his sleep.
Talk about fate … that they'd cross paths again, so many years later. If ZaiWin had never gone to that Fortress they would have probably lived their entire lives apart, each one treading their own doomed path. The link that had been formed when they were both children had been too weak to actually have a visible impact in their lives. Maybe because Snow had been too young, he considered, gently aligning his hair.
It was true that Celestials were pushed to find their Chosen Ones from an early age and, once they did so, the binding ceremony immediately took place, which they had never done. Even so, young Tien'Elhar mainly remained in the Temple's care, only making an appearance during official events. He was now starting to believe that such measures were put in place exactly due to the fact that, as young children, since the link between them and their Chosen Ones still wasn't strong enough, Tien'Elhar wouldn't be as blindly loyal or obedient as they later became, once they grew up. And no one wanted to see a Celestial child being stubborn or throwing a tantrum. Celestials were, after all, sacred beings. They most definitely had a social image to maintain, one that was in accordance with the Temple's ideals and sacred scriptures. Or better said, a social image that they were surreptitiously forced to sustain.
Well, even now Snow was anything but blindly obedient, ZaiWin added with a chuckle, recalling his angry, cold gaze as he had stubbornly refused to be left behind, back at the village. It drove him insane! Not even ZenTar dared face him like that, always afraid he might lose his temper and, as a result, lose control over his daitai as it had happened in the past. And yet, once ZaiWin's momentary anger settled down, having someone dare to actually stand up to him like that, was rather amusing, even challenging. They could say whatever they wanted, about how much of a freak Snow was. ZaiWin wouldn't change a single thing about him, even if he could. Not even to make him a female.
Leaning forward again, he nuzzled the column of Snow's neck, and Snow immediately raised his shoulder to protect that sensitive part.
"I know you're tired. But we really should get going," ZaiWin whispered near his ear and took the opportunity to gently nimble it, making Snow groan in protest. Cold hands pressed against his chest, trying to push him back, but ZaiWin didn't budge.
"Wake up, Snow." He kissed the back of Snow's ear and the hands that had been trying to weakly push him away clenched his tunic instead, leaving a smile on his lips.
He had to stop this, or he would push him down again and kiss him until their lips were scuffed and bruised, ZaiWin sighed, straightening his back to look at him.
Snow frowned, blinked, and finally opened his eyes looking extremely drowsy.
"Are you okay?"
The boy nodded and released ZaiWin's tunic to rub his sleepy eyes.
"I know you're tired, but there's one more place I want to take you. Think you're up for it?"
Snow nodded again and averted his gaze, pursing his lips before finally deciding to speak.
"Before that … can you take me back to the forest?"
"Forest? The Dead Forest?"
Snow nodded.
"Why? Is something still there?"
This time he shook his head.
"The place where that village is … a river used to cross it, right?"
"Mm. In fact I am told that all that area, including the Dead Forest, actually used to be a large, green forest. But it was gone long before I was even born. Everything just died out, because the land became too corrupted."
Snow nodded.
"I tried to cleanse the forest, but I'm still not sure …"
ZaiWin scowled.
"Even if it's not entirely cleansed, right now there's not much you can do. You're not thinking about pushing yourself more than you've already done, right?"
Snow shook his head.
"But I should make sure. That … feimao, it was born from the land."
ZaiWin's eyes widened in disbelief at that.
"Are you certain?"
Snow nodded.
"I knew it was still young. But … from the land itself? Is that even possible?"
"I don't know if it's possible or not. I only know what I felt … And that's why I had to try and cleanse it."
ZaiWin sighed. In all the years he had fought against the feimao he had never heard of anything like that.
"I just want to make sure," Snow insisted. "And I think I can revive the river."
ZaiWin's heart almost stopped at that.
"What?"
In his dried-up Nox, water was more precious than any rare gemstone or metal.
"I mean … You can revive it. I can only tell you where."
The huge smile that spread across ZaiWin's face was so uncharacteristically rare that Snow actually felt embarrassed at having to face it. Even his blue eyes seemed to glow from excitement, making him look younger and somehow warmer.
"Here. I brought you dry clothes," ZaiWIn quickly pushed a bundle of clothes against Snow's chest, obviously trying to conceal his enthusiasm.
Snow nodded and lowered the cloak to pull the dark-green tunic over his head.
ZaiWin didn't lose time, quickly rising to his feet to go and fetch Snow's boots. But the minute he turned back to return them to him, he was immediately frozen in place, his heart beating so fast inside his chest that it was the only sound he could hear.
Snow had stood up, obviously to get dressed, and was leaning heavily against the stone wall. The tunic ZaiWin had gotten him was way too big, like most adult clothes were on him. It reached just above his knees, and the wide collar kept sliding down one of his shoulders. Not to mention that his naked legs and bare feet looked even paler against the darkness of the cave walls.
He really wanted to … Nothing!, ZaiWin immediately reprimanded himself. He had to get a grip on that sudden flood of wants and desires! Besides, it was clear Snow wasn't feeling well, ZaiWin realized by the way he kept his eyes closed, his hands gripping the wall with too much strength. Rushing to his side, ZaiWin placed the boots on the ground and grabbed Snow's arm to steady him. He hadn't been able to see it just by looking at him, but Snow was actually trembling.
"You're far from okay."
Even though ZaiWin felt more worried than anything else, his voice still sounded like he was scolding him. And so Snow immediately straightened his back and clenched his jaw, in a clear attempt to show him that he could stand on his own.
ZaiWin sighed and wrapped both arms around him, pulling him against his chest.
"We should probably head back. You need to rest."
Snow blinked, still taken aback by the sudden hug, and tried to peel himself from him, to no avail.
"I-I'm fine …"
"You're trembling."
"I still want to go to the forest," he stubbornly contested
"Next time."
The small cold hands holding ZaiWin's arms squeezed him.
"And when will that be?"
That simple question felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice-cold water over his head. When indeed …
Placing a kiss at the top of that silver head, ZaiWin finally released him.
"You will not use your markings again. Agreed?"
Snow looked up at him and nodded.
"Fine then. Hold on to me. I'll help you get dressed."
And, before Snow could protest, ZaiWin was already kneeling down to help him put on his pants. Blushing from embarrassment and having no other choice but to look for support on his shoulders, Snow forced himself to allow ZaiWin to help him.
After dressing him and helping him put on his boots, ZaiWin grabbed Snow's cloak and stood up, pulling it over his shoulders, making sure to close it over his chest to keep him warm.
Snow's cheeks were literally burning, and they only got worse when ZaiWin bent forward, wrapping his arms around his legs and easily lifted him from the ground.
A gasp of surprise escaped Snow's lips and, once more, he had to hold on to him, afraid he might fall.
"Put me down!"
"Behave like a good kid and be still," ZaiWin replied, actually sounding amused, and Snow blushed all the way to his ears. Held like this Snow was actually taller than him, for a change. And so ZaiWin had to tilt his head back to look up at him. "Hold on."
Snow instinctively obeyed, just before a massive darkness fell over him.
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Guess our silly ZaiWin is also a bit overwhelmed by this sudden turn of events. Even though he has no doubts about what he wants he can't help feel the weight of his decision 😔 Well, he inevitably has to be the responsible one, at least for now. Since our dear Snow still isn't quite aware of all the implications of these "kisses" 😊