A soft pull on his braid dragged ZaiWin from his dark thoughts, and he kissed his way up to Snow's ear, enjoying the sound of his ragged breathing.
"LanRan …"
The sudden sound of that name still sent a painful jab to his heart, but ZaiWin wasn't surprised to hear it whispered in his soft voice anymore.
"Hmm?"
"I feel weird …"
ZaiWin chuckled at the sound of that small, murmured confession, and raised his head to look down at him, at those delightful blushed cheeks and tempting reddened lips. Touching those parted lips with his thumb, he really wanted to kiss them again, but he figured he'd teased the poor kid more than enough. Still, he couldn't get enough of that lost, confused expression. And when those silver eyelashes fluttered open, he couldn't help smile at the glistening, pale gaze that stared back at him.
"I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again," ZaiWin declared, half-joking, but the angry scowl that immediately took over that adorable blushed face caught him by surprise. Had his promise made him that angry? Gently playing with his silver hair, ZaiWin placed a light kiss on Snow's temple, and, true enough, the angry frown immediately disappeared from his forehead.
"Snow?" The pale eyes immediately turned to him, giving him his undivided attention. "Will you stay by my side? Will you really choose me? Of your own free will?"
Snow's eyes widened in surprise, before he quickly averted his gaze.
"Haven't I chosen you already …?"
"You know what I mean!" ZaiWin countered, giving a light squeeze at his hand, and Snow closed his eyes, as if doing so could also prevent him from hearing. "The things we were discussing yesterday. VinWei's solution. I will only go through with it if you want to. Doing this … it will place us both in great danger. It will place you in great danger. Worse than that, we will end up being summoned to the Palace. And I really don't want to take you there."
Snow opened his eyes and stared at the dark stone wall in front of him.
"Even though you used to live there …?" he whispered, and he could feel the warm body pressing down on him grow immediately tense, even though ZaiWin's voice retained its calm and contained tone.
"Because I used to live there. I know, better than most, that nothing good inhabits that place. And everything good that crosses those gates ends up being ruined and destroyed." And once there he wouldn't be able to hold on to him, to protect him the way he wanted and needed to do.
Snow remained quiet, clearly weighing his words, and ZaiWin waited patiently, gently playing with his silver hair.
"If not this solution, then what?" he finally asked and ZaiWin sighed.
"I don't know. But I will come up with something," he honestly confessed.
"A way to leave me behind?" Snow forced himself to ask, his heart already hurting in anticipation, and the hard fingers that grabbed his face, forcing him to look up at him, caught him completely off guard.
"Anything but that! You are mine!"
The sound of those words echoed in the silence of the cave, and it took a while until their meaning actually registered in Snow's brain. Frowning in anger, he used his free hand to push him back.
"I am not a thing that you can own!" he declared, raising his voice to what could be considered a normal tone.
Clenching his jaw, Snow tried to push ZaiWin's naked shoulder as hard as he could, but his heavy body wouldn't even budge. Wanting to use both his hands on the task, he tried his best to free his other hand.
"Let go!"
"No!" The long fingers squeezed his hand even harder, refusing to release it.
Snow bent his free knee, since his other leg was presently being pressed down by one of ZaiWin's, and tried to somehow kick him back, or at least slide from under him, but all he managed to accomplish was to scrape his bare back against the harsh stone.
"Let me go!" he practically shouted and hard fingers grabbed his face again, making him stare up at him.
"You look at me! I will never let you go! That was something I decided the moment I left that village to look for you!"
"That is something you've decided all on your own! I have nothing to do with that!" Snow quickly argued, his pale eyes turning cold and hard like orbs of ice, all the child-like softness from before gone from him.
ZaiWin knew that look all too well. In fact, it had been the first thing that had captivated him in the annoying brat that had suddenly turned his entire life upside down. That was also the reason why he had dared agree with VinWei's plan. His Snow wasn't some frail, golden-haired doll. He was strong-minded, willful, and stubborn. All traits that had allowed him to survive so far. Now ZaiWin only had to somehow make him stop turning those natural defenses against him as well.
"Then what? Are you going to try and kill yourself again? Give it a rest, brat! And just accept it. We're stuck together."
Snow stared at him, anger warming his blood. He had even dared smile while telling him those words!
"What I do with my own life has nothing to do with you! And stop calling me a brat!"
ZaiWin almost laughed at that. Of course he was aware that that was a serious conversation. But, at the same time, he couldn't help feeling slightly excited. Snow was actually arguing with him! Not that he enjoyed the arguing part, or the fact that he was actually openly opposing him, the damn brat! But, on the other hand, this was probably the first time he heard him openly speak out his own thoughts. ZaiWin could only hope that meant that Snow was feeling increasingly more at ease and secure in his presence.
"I called you a brat because you're behaving like one. Acting all tough, when I know you don't want me to leave you behind, even if I could."
Snow opened his mouth, the shocking disbelief stealing his voice away.
"I-I-I …"
"You want to stay by side. Just admit it and we can move forward to more important things."
Snow was speechless. Before anger took over again.
"You're the most egotistical, self-centered, selfish person I've ever met!"
"Eh! That's because you haven't met that many people."
"First you want to get rid of me, even kill me! Then when I finally give you what you want, you go and change your mind! And decide to save me! And now … this?"
"So why not give me what I want again?" ZaiWin asked with a smirk, apparently immune to Snow's outburst of anger.
Snow scowled, staring straight into those mocking blue eyes.
"I hate you!"
ZaiWin couldn't hold it in anymore and actually laughed at that.
"Fine. I don't mind either way. Then just choose to stay by my side because you want to take revenge on me, or kill me, or something like that."
Snow pursed his lips. That selfish man was going to simply tear down all his hard-built defenses and shred him to pieces, he was sure of that. He really, really wished he could just stand up and walk away. But the warm taste that still lingered in his mouth from when he had kissed him made it so that his heart wouldn't stop beating faster than it should. And yes, he hated to admit it, but the thought that ZaiWin might just find a way to leave him behind did … annoyed him.
ZaiWin smiled and nuzzled his neck, making him jump.
"Here or there. Dead or alive. I will never let you go. But, if you choose to stay by my side, I will be yours in return," he whispered into his ear and Snow's eyes widened in response, his heart beating so fast against his chest that he thought he might die.
Getting a grip on the strange things those words had made him feel, Snow forced himself to think more clearly about what he was saying.
"Why? Why do you want me by your side?" he asked, his voice back to his usual whispering. "I may be a Tien'Elhar, but you said it yourself, I'm only a pile of problems. Even I can see that. I may have a bit of power, but you're much stronger than I am. And there's nothing I can do that a few dozen of those crystals wouldn't be able to do as well. I heard that having a Tien'Elhar is a symbol of power, but I will only make you look bad. Besides, there's a chance that other, much more powerful people, might get angry with the mere fact that I chose you, which could put in danger everything you have, your land and your people. As if all that weren't enough, I know that you hate Tien'Elhar. And, although I'm clearly different, I'm still one of them. I know we're stuck together like you said. And I can understand you wanting to find a way to get rid of me. But I can't understand why you'd want to keep me by your side."
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Now, that is a proposal! lol Anyways, Snow is finally speaking his mind 🥰️🥰️🥰️