"Matt. Matt!" I was yelling his name as I approached the field.
My forehead was sweating, and I wasn't sure if it was from the heat of the sun or from my annoyance. I didn't care about what the other athletes thought – me, screaming Matt's name like I was some kind of an obsessed freak. All I knew at that moment was that I had to talk to him. Now.
"Mattheus!" My efforts had taken me to the edge of the soccer field, my hands clenched to my sides. The player who had the ball was first to stop, then everyone followed. If it was at all that dramatic, it was him who turned to me last. He jerked his head back, utter surprise apparent on his expression, and narrowed his eyes.
"We have to talk," I said.
Zach's expression was priceless. A mixture of curiosity and disdain, his hands clamped to his waist. Matt shrugged his shoulders at something Zach had said to him, before actually coming over to me.
A lot of those in the grand stand moved to a bleacher most comfortable for hearing. I forgot; the school was a place of gossip. I also forgot that nobody knew about Matt and me.
Matt had an exasperated look as he walked. I examined his face carefully, checking for any sign of shame or annoyance about my presence, but there was none. Though as soon as he had reached me, he grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. "Not here."
"Hey, let me go!" I tried shoving his hands away, but to no avail.
He continued walking, without letting me go, no matter my protests. I could feel my cheeks burning from all the students now taking interest in us. God, I had never been more embarrassed in my life!
Matt brought me to one of the Greek Hall offices and locked it behind him. Perhaps it was a coach's office; I couldn't really tell. Whatever it was, I had the feeling we weren't supposed to be there.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"Why are you here?" Matt had a very deep voice that matched the strength of his features. With his sun-kissed skin, his deep blue eyes, and perfectly bearded jaw, he appeared almost a soccer god to me.
I threw a heavy breath to release me from his spell, my hands shaking and my knees weak. "What in the world is that second round thing? That's bullshit!"
"You started it. You and my brother." The way he said you and my brother was a bit accusing, and I stopped myself from calling him out on that.
"I was as shocked as you were," I defended myself, nonetheless, even when I knew the possibilities of him believing me was from slim to none.
Matt raked his fingers through his copper hair. "God, he's such a fucking pain in the ass."
"Well, you agreed to it," I accused him.
The reason I was here was to ask him what had made him succumb to Geo's schemes. It would be hypocrisy to say I didn't like his decision. After all, I craved for him most of my lonely times. But I had to hear his reasons straight from him.
He turned to me, eyes burning. "I never thought you'd date Geo. How am I supposed to fucking react, huh? He's my brother! Am I supposed to sit, while I watch the two of you--?"
I cut in, "We're not dating!"
"I know my brother, Zoey," he said between gritted teeth, his fists balled. "Geo isn't the type to not have ulterior motives. It's who he is. He's driven by goals, by needs, by his strong wants. He pursues, whatever the cost."
What the hell was Matt talking about? "You know, you're twisted." Shaking my head, I let out an impatient sigh and sat on the office couch. "Your brother needs to finish a photo wall so he could compete in the sports festival, while I need to finish the same task so I could pass freshman year. Those are it. Now, whatever motive you think Geo has in this, I guess that's your problem."
Matt shook his head.
"Well, I wanted to ask why you agreed to it." I paused and stood from the couch. "Now, it seems you only did because you don't want me to date him."
He made no direct reaction to what I said, but he asked, "Did you agree to it?"
"I will." With confidence, I nodded.
"Why?"
I faced him with an expression I knew was everything that I felt. "Because I still care for you, Mattheus. And I don't think that will change."
He swallowed hard and punched the dry wall behind him, marking it permanently with things we were supposed to say to each other. "You're as insane as your brother said."
"Don't drag Zach into this." I pointed my finger at him and he defiantly shoved it from his face. "You know so well why I broke up with you the first time."
"Yeah, you didn't want to fuck me."
"I'm nineteen!"
Matt growled. "That wasn't my point, Zoey! You could've stayed in that hotel room and held me. You didn't have to yell and be hysterical, like I was forcing you into it." He closed the distance between us and raised his chin. "Tell me, was there ever a time I forced you into something you didn't want?"
"Oh, come on—"
"When I pursued you, I knew what your past did to you. Your brother told me how your high school boyfriend ruined you. You think I'd do the same?" His voice and stance were unmoved. "Nevermind, don't answer that. My money is on the YES."
"You shouldn't have sent mixed signals."
"I thought you were ready."
There wasn't any use to this. I turned my heel and grabbed the knob of the door, but he pushed it close.
"Let me out."
"Are you ready now?"
I whirled around, the force with which I did almost dizzying.
"If we do this second round thing now, would you trust me and be ready?" he asked.
"I am."
He was challenging me, and it wasn't because I wanted him so bad. I didn't like losing to anything.