The ghosts of the past haunt us. It is a given fact that no one could deny. They are filled with our innermost doubts, fears and insecurities; a giant mesh of the ugliness we keep under lock in the deep recesses of our hearts. Some forget about their ghosts and let themselves be lulled to a peacefulness that comes with sleep. Humans are selfish creatures indeed. They choose to protect themselves from their bad decisions.
In any case, Yuan Xing thought the best way to live was to counter every bad memory she had ever experienced, to own up to every bad decision she made, because only then would she be truly liberated from the guilt and shame she had felt over the past few months. That guilt and shame nearly drove her insane, eating up at her from the insides like a parasite.
Ayn Rand once said, "The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt." Yes, this was true, because only when she decided to let go of her self-doubt was she able to see clearly and do what needed to be done. What happened in the past wasn't entirely her fault, and she wouldn't have been able to do much anyway. 'This time will be different,' she promised herself. That cold, burning emotion returned with a vengeance, secretly hiding beneath the layers of blame that Yuan Xing had felt. Hate turned into revenge and fuelled her desire to destroy, to annihilate. Her blood sang with a high fervour, demanding a blood debt. To let them pay, whatever may come. Thus, began Yuan Xing's road to vengeance. And she welcomed it with open arms, ready to metal out the punishment her enemies deserved.
This was months before, now, Yuan Xing was doing the things she always wanted to do without being restricted. For one, living the high life was not so bad, once you got used to the silly rules. Even in the 21st century, ladies from rich families were expected to conform to their family tradition. Not Yuan Xing. No way. Just the thought of it was laughable. A military family had no need for a delicate lady. Even Yuan Chang was a fighter, through and through.
Never mind that. Yuan Xing was in a predicament. She was pondering whether to help the kid standing in her way like a model citizen, which she obviously wasn't, or smile and walk away. Her phone beeped. She scrunched up her face in irritation.
"Little Dumpling, why don't you run along now and play with your other friends?" Yuan Xing resisted the urge to wipe the 7-year old's proud face. The more she looked at his smug grin, the more annoyed she got. 'God forbid I have children.' She was passing through the arcade centre and stopped to look through a windowpane when she felt a tug on her shirt.
She looked down to see an adorable little boy, who said, "Pretty sister, would you like to become my sister-in-law? My big brother is very handsome, so you won't miss out."
Yuan Xing was shocked but regained her senses as his words hit her. She patted him on the head and indulgently smiled, "Little Dumpling, aren't you too young to worry about these issues? I think you should--" Yuan Xing was cut off before she could finish speaking.
"Pretty sister, my big brother is a perfect male specimen. You should feel honoured that I chose you to be his wife," the Little Dumpling patted his small chest in reassurance. This would be funny if Yuan Xing was not at the receiving end of it. And what 'perfect male specimen'? Yuan Xing wanted to cry. Even a small child was concerned about her marriage. How lonely did she look?
Back to the present, the Little Dumpling still held onto her shirt with a strong grip, frowning at her. Upon taking a closer inspection, Yuan Xing saw the boy was neatly dressed, although a bit haggard. His unkempt hair and large black eyes made his appearance look graceful. His manner of speaking was clear and mature, unlike kids his age. She deduced that he must be a rich young master. Yuan Xing bent down and took another look at him.
"Hey, Little Dumpling, are you lost? You don't have to tell me your name if you're scared," her voice was soft and warm. The boy straightened his back with a stern face, "I am not lost." Obviously he was trying to act tough. Yuan Xing decided to test him out.
"Oh! Is that so? Then I'll be going now. Stay safe," she removed his grip from her shirt and walked away.
The boy panicked and chased after her. He hugged her waist tightly to stop her. "Wait, wait, pretty sister! I-I am lost. C-can you please take me home?" his big black eyes were round and pleading, moist with tears. His hunched shoulders made him look abandoned and sent an arrow straight through her heart. She couldn't say no to that face, no matter how ruthless she was.
Yuan Xing pinched his chubby cheeks and took his hand. "Come, this pretty sister will get you back home in no time!" The Little Dumpling smiled with dimples. "Thanks, pretty sister!"
Yuan Xing's hands twitched. 'No, bad hand! Don't even think of poking his soft, milky-white, squishy cheeks…' Yuan Xing shook her distracting thoughts away and called a cab.