Male Interviewer 1: Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying the book so far (even though it literally just started)! Today, I'm here with Tyler.
Tyler: Hello.
Male Interviewer 1: Alright! Let's start with our first question. I'm pretty sure everyone wants to know this, and I also want to know the answer to this question I'm about to ask. Why did you call Elise—"
Tyler: —Don't call her by her real name. Only I'm allowed to.
Male Interviewer 1: ....okay.
Tyler: Just call her by her nickname that everyone else calls her, Elli.
Male Interviewer 1: Alright then. Why did you call Elli ugly that morning?
Tyler: Just so everyone knows, Elise is absolutely not ugly. She's a goddess. She's my goddess. Mine.
Male Interviewer 1: ....
Tyler: If I call her beautiful, then her confidence would be boosted up. Then, maybe for a special occasion, she'll try to be a little more prettier, not that she has anything that isn't perfect about her. Then, when she's really pretty, then she'll catch many eyes of men. If I call her ugly, then it would bring her down. But then she might try to be more beautiful, but it'll be less than when I call her beautiful.
Male Interviewer 1: (nods) Yes, I understand completely!
(Female Interviewer 1: To all of you female readers, it's perfectly fine to not understand man logic. I don't understand it either!)
Male Interviewer 1: Next question! Why didn't you let Elise—
Tyler: (Glares)
Male Interviewer 1: (Sweating) —Elli. I meant Elli. Why didn't you let Elli ride with you on your bike?
Tyler: I was afraid that if she has her arms wrapped around my waist, I would become distracted and crash into a tree. That's why I made Elise ride the bus that she hates to do. If you're asking why she hates the bus, it's because she hates bumping into people. Oh. My. God. What if a pervert bumped into her? What if she bumped into a stranger and that stranger falls in love with her?
Male Interviewer 1: (Sweating even more as he turns his head away) Ha... ha.. ha... How could that happen?
Tyler: (Looks over to Interviewer) You know something—
Male Interviewer 1: —Alright! That's all the time we have here today! Hope you're enjoying the story! Stay tuned!