I don't understand. Why won't it stop? This burning sensation continued on throughout the entire day. Even as I was sharing tears with my family.
I just can't stop thinking about Ray. His warm and gentle touch…His cute face…His pointy ears. His sweet scent…His angelic voice...
Wait...WHY AM I'M BEING SO DESCRIPTIVE ABOUT HIM?!?!
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Someone knocked on my room door. I instantly bolted up as I shook my head, trying to get rid of my vulgar thoughts.
"Wh-Who is it?" I asked.
The door opened, revealing my sister Pitch.
"Are you sick?" she asked me.
"Huh? Why would you ask that?" I asked.
"Because your face is bright red."
I placed my hands on my face and, sure enough, it was burning.
"Uhhh...thi-this is nothing," I quickly said, wailing my arms. "I-I-I-I just...woke up feeling a little hot is all!"
I sounded pretty convincing if I do say so myself.
"Right," Pitch said. "Oh! Hey there Ray."
Pitch suddenly turned to her right and waved as she said that.
"Eep!"
I let out a weird noise and yanked the blankets over my head to hide myself.
"I KNEW IT!" Pitch exclaimed.
Pitch grabbed my shield and tried pulling it off of me.
"No! Stop it," I squealed. "Don't let Ray see me like this!"
"Oh don't worry," Pitch said. "Ray isn't here."
"...Eh?"
Pitch yanked the covers off of my head and hugged me tightly.
"Wh-Wh-What are you doing?!" I frantically questioned.
"I can't believe this," Pitch exclaimed. "You're so cute right now!"
"Eeeehhh?!"
After Pitch finally settled down, while holding me tightly with god-like strength, she started asking me questions.
"Have you been thinking about Ray a lot lately?" Pitch asked.
"Well, yes." I said.
"Does your face get hot and does your chest feel tight?"
"Yes. Um...where is this go-"
"Does your body start feeling all hot and bothered while your crotch starts throbbing in ec-"
"STOP IIIIIT," I exclaimed as I slapped my hands on her mouth. "Ray might hear you. Anyways, where is this going?"
"Wait, you don't know?"
Pitch appeared to be really confused. Is is really something that I should know right now.
"Dusk, you're feeling this way because...YOU'RE HEAD-OVER-HEELS MADLY IN LOVE WITH RAY!!!"
I felt like I was going to faint as I felt my face burn up again.
"No..." I shyly said
"Yes." Pitch said, nodding her head.
"No no no." I said back, shaking my head violently as I covered my ears.
"Yes yes yes!" Pitch said back as she nodded her head and hugged me again.
"Please stooooop!" I exclaimed desperately.
"Are you really not going to tell him?" Pitch asked me.
"I can't," I said. "If what you say is true, then I must quickly get rid of these feelings. Ray's first love was tragically killed, so asking him would be like using alcohol to put out the flames."
"Ok, but that won't last long."
"Why do you say that?"
"The longer you go without expressing your feelings, the harder it will be for you to get over them."
I wish I had listened to her advice.
"Hey Dusk, are you sure you're feeling ok?" Ray asked me.
"D-Don't worry," I said. "I'm...perfectly...fine."
Lies. What I'm saying is nothing but lies. These feelings of mine didn't go away. In fact, they just grew stronger.
Ray and I were given an assignment from Devil. We were supposed to deliver a message to a group of people through a transportation circle. I thought that if I spent more time with Ray, then I would've been able to conquer these feelings.
But that plan failed quickly. Very quickly.
Ray and I were given a location to meet up with Devil. He finally showed up through a cluster of purple and red streams and sparks with a black magic circle illuminating on the ground.
I suddenly felt my hand get grabbed. I jolted a bit when I realized who was holding my hand.
"R-Ray," I muttered, slowly turning my head to face him. "Wh-What are you...?"
Ray turned to face me.
"Huh? O-Oh, sorry!" he apologized.
He took his hand back.
"It's just that, well, those colors remind me of what happened to Connie. The look on her face when she was completely corrupted. The look of despair and pain. It just...scared me I guess."
I looked away from him and just stared at the ground. I was right. Ray can never find out about my feelings towards him.
All I would be able to do is just scare him away.
"I'm sorry..."
I muttered an apology so quietly that not even Ray could hear me. I felt like I needed to say it. It was all out of guilt.
Devil emerged from the circle with what looked like an envelope in his hand.
"Be sure to deliver this to the council," Devil said. "They just accepted my cooperation, so if they hear these plans...then you'll most likely be reunited with your other friends again."
"Seriously," Ray said. "That's good to hear. I just hope that Hiro is doing ok. Though, I probably shouldn't be too worried since he's with Xylvia and Leonna."
"I'm sure they'll be fine." I said.
I envy Hiro a little bit. Those two girls fell in love with Hiro the same way Hiro fell in love with them.
I wish my feelings weren't so complicated.