3 Days Later
Aria said that we would be doing body training in the sauna twice daily until I'm able to last for as long as I need to. Kagashi has, apparently, been meeting with their sin leader to see if any enemy god had shown up yet. Xylvia was discharged from the hospital after getting plenty of rest and has joined me in Aria'a training sessions. Although, it didn't take Xylvia very long to make the time limit since her specialty is fire.
I'm, however, only lasted 50 minutes at best."
"I guess I really am unstoppable when I'm in heat," she had said to me. "In more ways than one to!"
Leonna has only gotten even stronger with her unbelievably powerful light magic. Shana has been locked up in her own room ever since we got here. I've tried talking to her several times, but she would never answer the door. I decided to just give her some space, but now I really think it is the time for us to talk.
As I was walking to Shana's room, I ran into Wrath on the way there.
"How goes your training?" he asked me.
"55 minutes," I grumbled. "I know that Xylvia is your daughter, but she doesn't have to rub her insane power into my face. Also, why fire magic. Can't I just train my water magic?"
Wrath placed his hand on my shoulder and reassured me.
"It's necessary," he said. "If you can unlock that raging fire within you, then you can merge that with the black flames that you share with me. With that kind of power, not even a god could kill us easily."
"Ok, so why can't I get to that point yet?" I asked.
"It's only been three days, so give it more time," he said. "And it also has something to do with what you lack the most."
"And what's that?"
"Control."
"..."
I had nothing to say against that. I couldn't say anything. Ever since I got that power, I would always let myself get consumed with an evil rage that I could never escape from. I killed an entire city full of people...and nearly killed Leonna.
"That's not the only thing I lack," I said. "I'm hesitant, uncoordinated, I'm hopeless when it comes to planning ahead, I'm reckless, and I have no faith in myself. The only reason that I'm here is because of my friends. I would've died much earlier if I was alone. I'm too weak..."
Great, looks like I'm about to start crying again. Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I just at least pretend that I'm strong?
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to lean on your friends."
I turned around and saw Aria standing behind me.
"Aren't you the one that told me that?" she asked.
I managed to pull myself together and stopped crying.
"You're right," I said. "I guess I should listen to myself as well."
"I've been with you on your journey ever since you found me, so I understand the kind of life you lived back in your world. Those scars that your world gave you may never fade away, but that doesn't mean that you can't turn them into motivation. Use your past to your advantage and strive to live a better life that you can be proud of. It'll take time, but you can make it happen."
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks."
I have to stop being a crybaby and pull myself together. All of these people around me are great and caring people. I don't want to see people like them suffer for something that had nothing to do with them. I'll help them out in any way I can.
"Did you come here to see Shana?" Wrath asked.
"Yeah. I want to see if I can try and talk to her." I said.
"You're probably the only one that she'll listen to."
Wrath and I have tried several times to talk to Shana. Having Wrath try and teach Shana about what a Sin is was something that I wanted to do in order to help her, but she wouldn't open the door or even say anything.
Shana's room was on the other side of the hall from the room that Leonna and I were staying in (though Leonna had a room right next to mine). I stood in front of Shana's door and began knocking.
"Hey Shana, it's me," I said gently. "Can we...talk?"
No response.
"Look I know that you've been through a lot lately and everything seems to be happening too fast for you to understand, but you can't expect things to get better just by hiding out like this."
Maybe I should try and bring Xylvia with me this time.
Before I acted on my thoughts, the door suddenly opened up a crack and Shana's voice came out from the other side.
"Is that man in black with you?" she asked quietly.
"Huh! Oh...n-no Wrath isn't with me." I stuttered.
I was taken aback by Shana's sudden action, but I answered immediately. I just couldn't believe that she actually opened the door and spoke. It has been a little bit since I heard her voice.
Shana then opened the door all the way. What appeared before my eyes was a girl much shorter than me, with blood red eyes, bluish green hair, a blood red dress with a black pentagram imprinted on it, and black wings with a red outline that sprouted out of her back.
"That man is going to have to teach me how to be a Sin, right?" Shana shyly asked.
"Is that what you're afraid of?" I asked.
Shana gripped onto her dress tightly and nodded.
"I don't want to be like those people," she said. "I don't want to be like my mother. I just want to be kind and help people, not kill them."
Shana started to cry a little bit. I tried to comfort her by pulling her head to my chest and hugging her. I patted her head softly as she cried into my chest.
"I can't blame you for being scared," I said. "But you know what?"
Shana looked up at me with watery eyes.
"What?" she croaked.
"You're taking this a lot better than I did."
Shana tilted her head in confusion.
"When I first started fighting, I was always being traumatized. I let a little girl get killed and eaten right in front of me. I lost control of my-er...Wrath's power and nearly got Leonna killed. I couldn't protect Xylvia from Gleam. I watched my parents die right in front of me. I killed an innocent person. I killed Gl-"
I suddenly stopped myself. The last thing I wanted to do was upset Shana even more.
"Yet you've been through much worse than I have, yet you're still this stro-"
"Are you kidding me?!" Shana suddenly blurted out.
"Huh...?"
"You've been through all of that and you still think I had it worse?! That's a lie! And add that with the other things that happened to you in your previous life and you get a completely terrible one!"
At that moment, I suddenly realized how non-impactful my life was.
I studied all my life whenever I never even knew what I wanted to do with my life. I was made fun of for something that I like ever since my first day of school. My parents never payed attention to me and when they did, they made sure that I was always studying. I never did anything fun like all the other kids did. I had no friends. A girl thought that I was so pathetic, she pretended to be my girlfriend just to get money out of me. My college life was utter trash.
To sum it up, my life...was completely worthless.
"You're right," I said, devoid of all emotion. "My life was utter garbage. Nothing I did mattered. The world never cared about me. My life was worthless. Why was I even born if I didn't even have a purpose in l-"
SMACK!
Shana's hand slapped my left cheek with an intense force. It was enough to wake me up from my weird trance.
"Don't you dare start that again," Shana said as she was on the verge of tears again. "Your life isn't worthless. You still have time. Just you being here with us makes us all happy. Isn't that enough?"
This time, it was my turn to cry...again.
"You're right," I said through hard tears. "I am worth something. And I love you guys so much, so I don't want to die. I...I want to live. And I want us all to live together happily and peacefully!"
I wrapped my arms around Shana's back and held her tightly as I cried all of my pain out.
"It will all be ok Hiro," Shana said. "You're not in your old world now. You're here with us. Please try to remember that you have people here who love you and want to be with you forever."
I nodded with my head still buried into her shoulders.
"Ok," I said through my cries that have since grown softer. "I promise, I'll try to remember."