The amount of blood that covered the ground didn't even seem possible. My blade was still in my hand and the dark flames that engulfed me were still dancing around, as if looking for another victim. It took everything I had to keep the demon inside me under control.
After a few moments of resisting, I sheathed the blade back near my waist and fell down to my knees.
It was bound to happen at some point in this world. I'm in a war, so I knew that I would eventually have to kill someone, but I never expected it to be so soon. And much less, someone's lover.
After Leonna cut Ray down, he immediately ran to his lover's corpse with tears spilling from his eyes. I gave him some space and walked over to Leonna, dropping down to my knees once again.
"It's ok Hiro," Leonna said, wrapping her arms around me tightly. "None of this is your fault, you just did what you had to do."
This was Leonna's way of keeping me from losing sight of who I am. She did this back in that castle when we went to save Xylvia.
"Hiro, I have to ask you this because I need to know your feelings right now," Leonna said. "What made you strike Connie down?"
Her question was so unexpected, and I feared it the most. I didn't want to ever bring this up, but I don't know how much longer I can keep this to myself.
"Are you sure that you want to know?" I warned Leonna.
"Yes." she said with a calm and confident tone.
Xylvia was right behind her, listening to what I was about to say.
I guess there's no way out of it now.
"Ok, this is why..."
I didn't want to tell myself the true story about what happened at that school because I wanted it to be a lie. I thought that if I just kept telling myself that same lie over and over again, then maybe I could accept that lie as being the truth.
But unfortunately, truth and lie don't go together as one.
It all started a dew days after that kid with the porno magazine asked me.to take the blame him. After I did, lots of other students would ask me for favors and...well, you know the rest.
When I was getting bullied, a girl, one day, came up to my desk and asked me for a strange favor.
"I want you to be my friend," she said. "That way, I can be able to help you when you need it."
I didn't know what to say except "ok." I was too captivated by her sweet voice and her enchanting looks. Her long brown hair glistened from the sunlight shining through the window, and her bright, blue eyes were like a beautiful calm ocean. Her smile was enough to lift the depression off of anyone, and she stood tall and proud, giving everyone and everything the motivation to try.
Despite the brutal bullying that I received daily, I would always look forward to spending time with that girl. We would always go places and have a lot of fun.
Then one day...
"Would you like to be my boyfriend?" she asked me.
I remember being so happy from her request, I felt like I could die happy now. I, of course, said yes and we became lovers that day.
The girl was always having trouble with remembering things, so I had to help her in any way that I could. I'd help her with tests and quizzes, giving her money for lunch, and making sure that she didn't get picked on by your stereotypical douchebags in an ally (I of course bribed them with either money or junk food).
I was living a joyous life with that girl, but of course...every good thing had to end at some point.
When the girl asked me to meet up with her near a cafe, I decided to arrive there ten minutes early so that I could prepare myself for whatever was about to happen. Bring the teenage boy that was, I couldn't help but let my dirty thoughts run wild.
As I was waiting, I saw the girl walking to an alleyway. I was a little confused, so I decided to follow her. I saw that she was talking with another guy about "plans to help out" or something like that. I felt a little guilty for peeping in on her personal business, so I decided to leave...
"How long are you going to keep toying with that Hiro guy?"
"...?"
That was the guy who asked that.
"I'll just have some fun with him until I'm satisfied," the girl said. "I gotta have money to play y'know."
"I can show you some fun for free." the guy said with a seductive tone.
Then...they kissed...
"...!"
I went back to our meeting place and stood there like an idiot until she arrived.
"Hey Hiro," she said. "Are you ready to be surprised?"
"I'm an idiot..." I said.
"Hmm...what was that?"
"Hehehe...I should've known..."
"Hiro, are you ok? Do you want me to take you somewhere to sit down?"
"No...I feel like going to a great place...where I can kill myself..."
I remember the look on her face when I said those words. She looked extremely terrified, but I knew that it was all an act.
"Hiro, I'm here for you," she said. "Please, don't say thing like that!"
She wrapped her arms around me tightly and kept giving me a bunch of fake supportive talk. I didn't buy any of her bullshit though.
"How long are you gonna toy with that Hiro guy?" I said, repeating the exacts words of her lover.
"...!"
"I'll just have some fun with him until I'm satisfied. I gotta have money to play y'know."
"Wh-Wha...What are you t-talking about?" she asked.
I didn't want to play this game any longer, so I decided to walk back to the alleyway. Her real lover was sitting there, reading manga.
"You can have her back." I said to him.
He turned to me and tried to say something, but I was already gone.
After that day, I noticed that the girl tried doing the same thing she did to me to another guy.
When class ended, I made sure to tell him about what she was doing. He, of course, didn't believe me, so I decided to show him some proof by snapping a picture of them in the alleyway and showing it to him.
I made sure to give every guy in our classroom the proof that they needed to believe me, so that the girl didn't get what she wanted. Rumors then spread about her being a two-timer and her tricks never worked anymore.
Then one day, she gave me a note asking me to meet her in the music room after school. She apparently wanted to talk to me.
"I get that you're mad," she said to me. "But you need to worry about your own business."
"I don't have anything else to worry about," I said. "I just figured that watching you suffer would be enough to heal the pain that you gave me."
"I don't give a shit about your pain. All that matters is that you made my life hell after you pulled that stunt."
"I don't want to hear that bullshit from you. You're the one that started it when you asked me to be your friend."
"Why didn't you say no? Was it because you were hoping to lose your V-card?"
"I wanted someone to care about me."
That's right. I didn't care who it was. Whether it was a friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, or even if it were my own parents, I just wanted someone to care about me.
"Well guess what: Nobody in this entire school gives a shit about you, so let me do you a favor by helping you look for a place to kill yourself."
She then took out a knife and started to walk towards me.
"Are you really that desperate for money," I asked. "If so, then just go and get a job."
"Don't you dare tell me what to do."
She raised her knife up and was about to strike down...
BAM!
In a quick reflex, I took a chair and smashed it at her head. She sprawled down onto the ground, blood oozing from her head. I then took this opportunity to hold her down to the ground and punch her multiple times. I didn't care where I hit her, I just wanted to see her in pain.
"DO YOU FEEL THIS," I shouted as I kept bashing her to the ground. "THIS PAIN THAT YOU FEEL ONE THE OUTSIDE...IS WHAT YOU MADE ME FEEL ON THE INSIDE!!!!"
I kept bashing her to the ground while I shouted any kind of insult that I could think of until about five minutes have passed.
I was too tired to say or do anything. The girl's blood was on my hands and was drizzling onto the ground. She was still breathing and her eyes were still open as she cried out in pain, begging for someone to come and help her.
"It looks like we now have something in common." I said as I got up and left her there on the ground.
Three days have passed and that girl never showed up to school. Instead, she showed up on the news.
"Police investigators have found a rope tied to the branch of a tree above the local river that appears to have been snapped in half," a news reporter on TV said. "They've also found a note nailed to the branch that was left behind by the girl that went missing. The police have confirmed it to be a suicide note."
"...!"
A suicide note.
...A...suicide...note...
asuicidenote
A SUICIDE NOTE!
Those words wouldn't stop playing over and over in my head. They kept me up at night and never stopped. It came to the point where I told my parents that I wanted to switch schools because I didn't feel well knowing that a girl committed suicide. They, of course, agreed and we ended up moving to the countryside where I went to a new school and started a new life. And everything else played out the same way.
"...And that's what happened."
Neither Leonna nor Xylvia spoke a word. They didn't move either.
"I was able to kill Connie...because she reminded me of the girl that betrayed me. I won't blame you for hating me, but please try and understand."
I was waiting for an ugly response from them. After all, who in their right mind would ever want to be with, or even around, someone who did something like that in the past.
"I don't care." both Xylvia and Leonna said.