Chereads / The Ballad of the Star and Moon / Chapter 10 - Chapter 10: The Starry Night

Chapter 10 - Chapter 10: The Starry Night

[Chris POV]

If only I can be with him forever. If I can only hold him like this and protect him from everything in this world. If only time can stop, and this dance won't end. That is my heart's greatest desire.

The dance ended. I dragged him outside, at one spot outside the venue away from the large crowd. There was a building nearby. We went up to the highest floor to go to the balcony. My eyes are still teary after I cried during the dance. He saw it, he looks more worried than before. I cannot hide my pain.

The past days were rough. I fell to the pit again. I succumbed to the darkness, and I feared the loneliness once again. But more than that, I dreaded the possibility of putting the life of the person I love in danger. I was not able to face him, in fact, I planned to be gone for good. But I saw the light again as I saw his face in my head. The kind and innocent smile that always lights up my world. He is my only hope. It is something I know I can treasure no matter how my life will unfold.

We held each other's hands as we went to the balcony. Lance walked towards the railing glancing beyond and looking at the stars above. I walked slowly towards him and hugged him from the back. I embraced him tightly on his waist and placed my head atop his shoulder. For the first time, he did not seem to mind at all. He didn't move an inch or remove it and protested. We stayed like that for good long minutes. My face is near his hair, I can smell his scent, the smell of flowers and oranges. We are all alone now, we are free to be ourselves. We have each other to lean on.

Inside me, there is pain. I feel guilty that I'm destroying one of the most important moments in his life. Instead of creating beautiful and happy memories, I let Lance share my grief deep within. It is obvious in his eyes that he is just as sad as me. I wish I could've lived a normal life, free from the pressures of my family and free from loving who I want. I know for sure that I am not the one he deserved. He deserves someone who will make him happy for the rest of his life.

He faced me. We were very close to each other. This is the first time he allowed me to be this close without pushing me away. There is seriousness and mutual understanding in the air. We care deeply for each other and he's the one I needed the most.

I miss the times when we both feel like we were flirting. When he would try to push me away, blush when we are so close to each other. And when his words were not too serious as cutely stutters with them. When we trended in the whole school and bravely showed the world who we are. Something I always thought to be impossible and at one time wished to avoid. But tonight, it's different, I only have one thing in my heart, to spend a few last moments with him, the last chance to express my love.

"Chris... are you alright?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, I should be..." I replied, shakily unable to tell him anything at all.

"I understand if you can't tell me, but you are already my friend, I'm worried about you and I will always be here for you," he reassured me. He always knows what I needed for that I am grateful to this young boy fate brought to me.

Tears started to fall from my eyes again. I was not able to stop myself from weeping. It is hard to bear the pain alone but being unable to say anything to him is worse. All I can do is hug him and put bury my face on his chest. He hugged me tight and caressed the back of my head. It hurts so much being unable to speak my truth. I just want to stay with him like this forever. Why do things have to come to an end? Why am do I have to be a coward again? I never learned to be brave even after all these years. I just leaned on him. I leaned on my hope.

The place was silent, I can only feel his heartbeat. I gazed at him and there were tears in his eyes. It seemed like we are already starting to part. Breaking apart. We were so near each other yet we still felt so far. It was the hardest and most painful feeling in the world, losing every second and chance I could be with him and seeing him cry just because of me.

He continued to embrace me. He was so warm.

"Chris, I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave, I promise." He spoke.

It felt like an arrow to my heart. Those are the words I will never be able to say to him. I am a coward. I never deserved him.

At that moment, I fell in love with him all over again but at the same time, my heart ached because I knew that I can't stay with him forever.

We stayed in each other's arms for a long while. We felt each other's warmth as in our embrace. There was no need for words at all. All we needed was each other. I regret not showing myself these past few days. I should've treasured all the time we have together.

After some time, I started to calm down. He slowly wiped the tears in my eyes and caressed my face. He gently played with my hair like he always does. He smiles like the moon in the backdrop of the night sky.

I started to tell him a few things.

"Lance, it was about my family. I need to face it but I'm glad to have met you. You're the most important person in my life right now." I told him vaguely.

He gave me a soft smile and started to speak his words calmly. He was filled with both love and wisdom. How can I ever be worthy of him?

"When I'm sad, I look at the sky... I don't know I just think that it makes me happy." He uttered. "Don't you think that it's unfair that there is only one moon in the sky, that two moons can never share the sky together?"

"What do you mean?" I asked him curiously.

"It's just that the stars and the moon tell us something, up there they can be smiling at us, watching our lives unfold." He answered.

I never knew what he meant. He really is something more than his cute and innocent facade. He knows about life and that is something not anyone can learn. Who will not fall in love with this boy? Who will never love this man? He is more of a man than I am. He has courage and kindness. I can never forgive myself if I ever see him hurting. He deserves all the happiness in this world.

I want to share the world with him. I want my future to be with him. He takes away all the problems of this world, all the sufferings. He appreciates small things from the flower that blooms to the butterflies that dances in the air. He sees beauty in the fields and the mountains, in every morning and night, in the seas and the skies. He sees the world differently, he sees the beauty and kindness from anyone, everyone, and everything. He is the light of my world.

I quickly noticed something in the night sky. I remembered something. The last part of the Prom is something special. I remembered that they scheduled the event this very night because of this. Tonight, there will be a rare sighting in the sky.

Down the venue, everyone is starting to get out of the building. They started occupying the plaza outside. Some couples have been sitting on the grass, others are either standing or lying down. This is an important event for lovers watching the stars fall from the sky.

Then it started, there were meteors...

The streaks of light painted the night sky. The other students cheered and clapped. It was a beautiful sight, but to me it was painful. The sadness in my heart saw the falling stars as tears, a chance untaken. It was also a calming sight. It is as if the skies are telling me that it is okay to let go and to stop holding on.

I looked at Lance. I examined his face, his beauty showered under the moonlight. He was excited and happy. My mood lightened up. His happiness alone can cheer me.

He faced me for a moment. We burst into sweet laughter.

"Chris...Chris... make a wish!" Lance exclaimed.

I contemplated on the one wish inside my heart. With that, I can now be honest. I can tell Lance what he truly deserves.

"I... I... wish that you will find the one who will stay with you, the one you'll always love and the one who'll love you always," I said while looking at his eyes.

He gave me a confused look. The expressions in his eyes were melancholic.

"It's your turn," I softly spoke.

He thought for a while before saying, "I wish that we will never forget each other."

I gave him a big smile. I am now reassured. I can fulfill it. For once I am certain that I can do my part in his wish.

I placed my hand on his face and said the words I will never forgo in this lifetime, "I'll make that come true, I will never forget you, Lance." I told him.

I wanted to kiss him. It would be the perfect moment, but I know he's not ready yet.

I don't want to pain him anymore. I don't want to create more moments we can look back to and cry for.

I need to part with him.

I went near him and touched his face. He closed his eyes. Then I kissed him on his forehead and hugged him under the starry night.