The last day of our college before the weekend finally arrived. Haruto didn't come to college..I and Sky had to attend practical classes alone. Together.
He was really disappointed as he thinks I am incompetent with those classes. Well I admit I'm a bit of a dimwit when it comes to practical classes.But I'm still learning after all.
Sherry asked Sky, "Do you like to do practical classes with her? "
"She is an idiot and it's disgusting to attend practical classes with her, " he replied nonchalantly.
I heard that... I was a bit far. But he intended to let me hear that. Had he known how hard I desired him, would he still say that to me?
His look really showed that disgust with a wicked smile aiming at me...
I was really heartbroken.
Anyways, I guessed that. Moreover, I don't deserve him. But I really had a heavy heart , so bad that it made me feel the ache...
So when the classes arrived I changed my demeanour. I spoke at first with a cold and distant tone. Then all of a sudden I started talking with him about trivial matters like how I met Lacy. My desires betrayed me thoroughly again. He asked whether I and Lacy were from the same high school. I frankly told him about the past...
I didn't know why I felt at ease talking with him over trivial matters... No matter how deeply he hurts me. I still couldn't avoid him.
He is like autumn leaves in my life. Bringing despair of fallen lovers with every talk.
My confession to him in my mind might have seeped into the abyss right after his complement of disgust. Well, everyone cherishes beauty...
Whereas I on the other hand am a chubby, short heighted girl and even my name has the syllables which could be made fun of easily..
And obviously it's very obvious for others to like other beautiful girls.And maybe it's the same for him. To be frank, girls like me do not deserve love or care from others...Especially from whom I hold dearest in my heart.
Sometimes I really do wonder, do I truly love him? Or is it just my fancy seeing my friends around me having boyfriends at this age that made me think and pretend to have one in my mind? Am I really into him or deceiving myself?
A person who is least bothered about me.
A person who doesn't need my help anymore.
A person... a person who thinks that I am incompetent in the work I do..
I really don't know what to do.
Why is it always like this with me? I wanna know …