"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first intergalactic fate-deciding tournament.
I'm your host, Ha'L Mev'O, S+ Rank Eternian under the command of the Supreme Goddess Eea. " [Ha'L Mev'O]
You know, usually, I'm quite a chill guy and no matter what happens I tend to just go with the flow. There are few things in this universe I could say would disturb me at a profound level…
"Now let me just explain the rules simply and straightforwardly so that anyone can understand. " [Ha'L Mev'O]
I've done some things in my life that I would really love to forget. I've been in more than one situation that far exceeds anyone's limits and I'm still around and kicking.
"Before each match, both sides have to choose a team that will partake in it. The main rule is any that team can fight only once." [Ha'L Mev'O]
And still… I've just discovered today that there are still things in this universe that can make me puke in absolute pure unadulterated disgust.
"Killing is absolutely forbidden. Fighting will continue until all members of a team are unable to fight or they decide to surrender." [Ha'L Mev'O]
As I watch the naked abomination's twelve giant nipples swaying in the non-existent wind while he presents the rule in the most official voice you can imagine, a little puke that I didn't even know still existed in my stomach makes it's way down my throat once more.
"The winner is going to be decided by the first side to amass 6 wins in total." [Ha'L Mev'O]
His stench is enough to raise the dead and the chunks of fat covering his whole body which slowly sways in all directions seem to be ripped apart by invisible countless invisible hands, falling on the ground only to be reabsorbed back into the thing's body… Oh, wait… They are…
"The number of people participating in the tournament for each side must not exceed 33. How they are distributed between the 11 teams is decided by each side." [Ha'L Mev'O]
How such a monstrosity became the strongest Eternian in the multi-verse while also being accepted by the Supreme Goddess as her official voice, is beyond my comprehension.
"I hope that everyone understood the rules presented above. In these conditions, I officially declare that the Grand Fate-Deciding Tournament between the Rank 10 Silver Wolf Goddess Eira and the Rank 1 Kane of Blue Steel has officially begun!" [Ha'L Mev'O]
With a grand gesture, half of the monster's greasy arms are disintegrated into a cloud of stinky particles that covers both teams.
'Bleargh'
'There he goes…'
Even since the thing made its debut materializing from a pool of rotting fat, pretty much everyone puked at least a couple of times. The only one that actually managed to hold it back was Lludd. At first, I thought that he might not even be a living being as even Lubba puked her guts out. Fortunately, it looks like he is still just as mortal as anyone else in front of that walking nightmare.
"The first match will begin immediately as the two-sided chose their competitors!" [Ha'L Mev'O]
Please don't tell me that that thing will stay in the arena while we fight… I mean… I don't even know if I can fight with him around!
"Meanwhile, let me change into something slightly more comfortable for… Well… Everyone, I guess." [Ha'L Mev'O]
With those words, the blob of fat on the scene starts collapsing upon itself. As countless layers of stinky fat roll with increasing velocity, the abomination gets smaller and smaller. In a matter of seconds what once was a mountain of rotting meat turned into a dark point that seems to bend the very fabric of reality around itself.
"Please excuse my former display. Usually, the Supreme Goddess Eira doesn't allow me to use my normal form. In these conditions, the chance to display my graceful true body before countless living beings is something that I can't miss out on. Anyway… Let's get back to the main event!"
Although no one said a single word to that last comment, it can be seen that everyone had pretty much the same thought in their heads…
"Fuck you!" [Jabberjonk]
Yap… That… Jabberjonk, Lubba's son, might a block filled with endless testosterone and even more liquid stupidity, but, sometimes, I appreciate his honesty.
'Cough cough'
"Anyway… It looks like the first two teams have been decided." [Ha'L Mev'O]
Oh… Finally!
From Silver Wolf Goddess Eira's side, we have Teeeeam "Me stronk! Me Like Giiiirlz!" [Ha'L Mev'O]
Oh, God… Not the idiot!
Their opponents, from Kane's side we have Teeeeam "Severing the Twilight" " [Ha'L Mev'O]
Oh fuck… The birds!